Garibay Soup

I'VE MOVED!

2010-08-25T13:59:00.000-07:00

Garibay Soup is being retired. All of my posts and comments and pictures and everything.... including from my photography blog have been moved to:

www.EnchantingHavoc.com

When I lost my domain name garibaysoup.com I thought, well, this is the perfect time for me to pack up and move on over to Wordpress and give myself a makeover... and a new name!

So, if you find yourself still arriving over here at Garibay Soup it's time to change that bookmark and go check out the new blog where all the excitement is happening. And I hope you enjoy :)

Blog Update

2010-08-22T16:18:00.000-07:00

Working on a few things with the blog and won't be posting in the meantime. So 30 Days of Truth will resume soon and Just a Motivating Monday will be back consistently next Monday!

An exciting change is happening can't wait to announce it :)

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 8

2010-08-20T00:00:00.000-07:00

Day 8 ~ Someone who has made my life hell or treated me like crap

Throughout my life I've had my fair share of people who have treated me like crap. The thing is they have never made my life hell. Allowing somebody to have the power to do that to YOUR life is just unimaginable, so the only person to blame for my life ever feeling like hell is myself.

Now treating me like crap ~ that one special someone is hands down my “sister”. It’s really unfortunate that she hasn’t grown up yet, and has extreme immature issues. She lives her life being evil, acting childish, and making people who actually care about her feel like CRAP. She doesn’t have this effect on me anymore, and never will. But there have been many times in my life, that with her vindictive ways she’s made me feel like crap, but I don’t blame her. I blame myself for allowing her to have that effect on me.

I guess in a way I should thank her, because she has helped me discover how not to be effected by hateful people. I try very hard to not live with hate in my heart, and she’s a prime example of what I don’t want to be. So, thank you, Jessica ~ and for the record, when you grow up and have ceased in your childish games I’ll be here. But you will never hurt me again.

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 7

2010-08-18T22:16:00.000-07:00

Day 7 ~ Someone who has made your life worth living for

I can’t just choose a “someone” because what has made my life worth living for is my family as a unit. This includes my children and my husband. They are my purpose in everything that I do, and without them I don’t know where I’d be in my life.

My husband is my rock. He’s been the single most stable thing I’ve ever had in my life. He has been through literally my lowest low and my highest high. I might not make it clear how much I appreciate him on a daily basis, but I do. Without him I wouldn't be the me that I've grown to love. He is definitely worth living for. He's my best friend.

My children complete who I am as a person. They have taught me how to be unselfish, and have given me what I believe is my purpose on this earth. I’m sure that Heavenly Father has other reasons for me, but right now…. My life is for them. I'm determined to be the mom that they deserve, and that they are taught all of the values and morals in this life that will make them good people.... and that to me is worth living for. Their smiles are worth living for. Their sweet souls are worth living for.

My family is worth living for.

DON'T MIND THE MESS!

2010-08-18T18:35:00.001-07:00

TONIGHT I'LL BE WORKING ON LITTLE ODDS AND ENDS DOING A REMODEL OVER HERE AT GARIBAY SOUP ~ PLEASE DON'T MIND THE MESS WHILE YOU VISIT :)

30 Days of Truth ~ Days 5 & 6

2010-08-18T00:00:00.000-07:00

These are short little snippit posts, so I decided to combine 2 days into 1

Day 5 ~ Something you hope to do in your life

I say hope, but this is achievable and I WILL get there, and I WILL make it happened. In my life I want to be sealed in the LDS temple to my family.

Day 6 ~ Something you hope you never have to do

Bury one of my children. That is a pain I don’t think I could bear, and I pray that I never have to feel what it’s like. It’s a subject I can’t even elaborate on even a tiny bit, because it literally makes me want to sit here and cry.

Mommy Guilt Sucks

2010-08-17T21:27:00.000-07:00

This little guy used to be the center of my world entirely.... him and him only. He was the only baby in our family. My brother and sister hadn’t had children yet and the next baby in the family {my nephew} didn’t come until Jayden was 5. That’s 5 years of being spoiled by not only his mom & dad but my mom, my brother, and my husband’s family.

When he was 6 the next baby of the family came and that baby came directly to our little family. Miss Ella Bella.

I love how my family is growing, honestly I do ~ and the fact that we’re adding yet another to our family is beyond exciting. But my little man just keeps growing up, and our family just keeps growing. I can’t help but worry is he getting lost in the shuffle? Ever since Ella was born a lot of attention has been put on her, because of her heart. I hope I’ve never made Jayden feel like he wasn't special or important, because he is still my everything. He is still and always be my first born, and he will always be the center of my world…. This little man changed my life for the better the minute I felt him move inside me.

I think that I need to do more things with just him so that he feels special.

Now to elaborate a little more on this….

Jayden’s growing up. He’s going to be 9 in a month and he’s much more independent than his 3 year old little sister. When I’m home she literally consumes me. Ella and I have spent the last 3 years together day in and day out. She’s venturing into being little miss independent and she needs constant supervision. And now there’s going to be a newborn in a few months ~ and I’m terrified that Jayden is going to not feel important…. And I need to make sure that this doesn’t happen! I need to make sure that everyday I am making him feel special and important in some way…. And that he gets alone time with me w/no other children getting in the way.

To top all of this off, tonight as I'm frustrated and trying to get Ella to bed and my frustrations were apparently showing, Jayden says to me, "Geez! What did I ever do to you? Why do you keep yelling at me?"

*GASP* was I yelling? I didn't even realize I was yelling. I knew I felt frustrated, but in no way shape or form was it towards him. I had to grab him, hug him and apologize right then and there, because I deserved the BAD MOM award for that one.

Am I alone in feeling like this with my children?

Welcome to another week of me pouring my heart out.

Hokie Pokie & First Kiss... CUTE Videos

2010-08-17T18:56:00.000-07:00

Just because Ella is just plain out cute ~ here are my 2 most favorite recent videos of her ~

This one she's doing by far the best version of the hokie pokie

and in this one she's singing Kesha & 3 Oh! 3's First Kiss song.... absolutely adorable!

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 4

2010-08-17T00:00:00.001-07:00

Day 4 Something you have to forgive someone for

I don’t have a dad. I have a man that lives 7 miles away from me and doesn’t give a rat’s ass that I exist and is referred to as my sperm donor. This man is honestly a waste of space in my honest opinion and I know that I have hatred deep down inside for him not caring about me.

Probably the best thing he ever did was get fixed, because he has 4 daughters on this earth with 4 different women. The only daughter that really truly means anything to him is his youngest. The only one I don’t have a relationship with, because I don’t know her.

I need to forgive him in my heart for never being there for me in my life. I need to forgive him in my heart for not making me feel like I ever mattered…. I’ve always come last and now my kids do as well.

I do not want a relationship with this man. I don’t want my children to know him….. ever. I do need to forgive him and hold no more grudges. I need to do that, because that is right thing to do and if I want to ever be forgiven for the things I have done on this earth I need to forgive everybody ~ including my sperm donor.

Forgiveness does not mean that I am inviting him back into my life, because I have made the decision that I can’t have him as an alcoholic around my family. I cannot have him being so unstable around my family ~ my children deserve better than that and they should never feel like they are not important. And that’s what that man does.

I’ve got a lot of prayin’ to do about this, because forgiveness does not come easy.

Dear Old Followers.... I miss you ~ but you can follow again!

2010-08-17T00:00:00.000-07:00

Lately I think I’m pretty much blogging for my eyes only. I have lots going on in this brain of mine too, because I spend a lot and I mean 7 HOURS of alone time a day. You can only imagine that things I’m cooking up in my brain. Unfortunately, since garibaysoup.com is not mine and all of my followers {and comments} are on that domain I pretty much don’t think I have any readers.....

and I MISS ALL OF MY READERS!

BUT that’s not stopping me. I’m determined to get my domain back and was REALLY close, but now the people I have to talk to suck at getting back to you. So, I’m sortof at a stand still…. Yet I’m still blogging. So, I took off my old follow gadget off, which had all of my followers from Garibaysoup.com and now we’re at a good ol’ fresh ZERO followers….. but at least now anybody new that shows up over here can FOLLOW until I get my stupid domain situation fixed.

Seriously…. Don’t EVER EVER EVER let your domain lapse ~ whatever you do!

SO ~ if you like coming here or used to follow me before you can join again. So you won’t miss any of the oh so exciting stuff I have going on…. Like the 30 Days of Truth.

My Birthday Princess ~ She's 3!

2010-08-14T20:05:00.000-07:00

There's something I love about this little girl that I can't even begin to put into words. These past 3 years have been overwhelmingly perfect. The moment that I looked into her eyes I knew that I would love her and she would always be my little friend. I knew that she would fit perfect in our crazy, dysfunctional family....

and she does. She fit right in like a little puzzle piece. Watching her grow into the little girl that she's growing into has been pure delight. She's all girl, but can definitely take her brother down to the ground. She loves to do her makeup, paint her nails, and play with her best friend, Ruthie. She'd rather dig in the dirt than play with her toys, and I still can get her to snuggle with her mama.

She's everything I've dreamed of and more.

She's my princess, and she's made these past 3 years of my life amazing.

Dear Ella,

As I watch you grow into a little girl from a baby I find myself wanting to be even closer to you. I soak up every second and love to breathe you in as we snuggle. I know that these days where you're my little girl won't be here for long. Soon I'll no longer be the best part of your day, but just your mom. I want to treasure these moments that I have with you forever, because you'll never know how much they mean to me.

I love your personality. I love how your eyes literally light up when you are excited. I love how much you love your family, how much you look up to your brother, and your love for church. You are my little best friend, Ella, and I as you grow and get older I want to make sure that you always know that I'll always be your Mama and you will always be my baby girl.

Love, Mama.

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 3

2010-08-13T10:53:00.000-07:00

Something you have to forgive YOURSELF for

I left the medicine without a childproof cap on the counter.

I left the medicine on the counter that almost took my daughter's life a little over a year ago on the flipping counter.

Why didn't I put it up high where she had no access to it?

I still have days where I look at her and just have to grab her and hug her and thank God for not taking her from me. I still have days where I think about the look that was on her face when I thought she was dead and I can't help but cry.

I almost killed my daughter by a very scary mistake. And I hold this horrible pain and guilt inside of me because of it. I try to look at the beautiful blessing that she's here with us, she's beautiful, she's thriving, she's growing, and she's not effected by this mistake in any way.... but there was a good 5 minutes of my life that I thought my daughter was dead. There was a moment in my life where I heard codes being called on her in the hospital and doctors and nurses rushing in ~ and all I could do was drop my head and pray like I have NEVER prayed in my entire life. In my head she was gone... and I truly didn't know how I was going to go on. I didn't know how I was going to get out of bed every day. I didn't know how I was going to go on without seeing her beautiful smile that literally melts every ounce of my soul.

How could I survive without this face

I have to forgive myself for this. I have to take it as a lesson learned that they do climb, and all it takes is literally 2 seconds of your back being turned for a life altering disaster to happen.

TO READ THE POST I WROTE WHEN THIS HAPPENED{CLICK HERE}

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 2

2010-08-12T08:46:00.000-07:00

Something you love about yourself ~

Everybody on this earth has had a screwed up childhood in some way or another. Mine consisted of an extreme amount of unstableness, and a whole lot of other crap that I could dwell on for the rest of my life.... which of course would only cause my future to be as ridiculous as my past.

What I love is that I honestly don't care. I can forget about whatever has happened to me in the past and focus on my present and my future. I don't allow my childhood or my past to shape who I am today. I make the choice on whether I want things to effect me in a positive or negative way, and which way do you think I choose? Um.... basically I'm choosing happiness and success over dwelling, hatred and self pity.

And it feels good.

And I love this about me that I can CHOOSE to not allow my childhood or my past to effect who I am now.

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 1

2010-08-11T13:14:00.000-07:00

Some extremely awesome and amazing bloggers are doing this thing called 30 Days of Truth.... and I love the idea, so I'm jumping aboard.

Day 1 ~ Something I Hate About Myself

Lordy ~ I've pondered this one for a while now. I ended up deciding not to go with something physical and do something on the inside.... something I hate about myself, but something I most definitely can fix, but until I face the music and admit to thing I hate about myself I'll never fix it.

I am the queen of screwing myself over. I for some weird and extremely strange reason put things off until sometimes it's too late. Okay, I said it! That feels a tad bit better.

I guess you can call it procrastination. I do tend to procrastinate a tad and probably get this from my mother, because she is QUEEN of procrastination.

Here's what I don't get..... why don't I just do things right away and be done with them so I don't have to WORRY about them. Worrying is something I hate to do, so while I tend to procrastinate, I in turn make myself worry and I hate this about myself!

I've tried to just take care of things as soon as they enter my mind, and it's going to be a while of trying to practice this new life bettering idea before I make it a habit. But I hate that I do this to my life. I don't want to procrastinate anymore!

List of Randoms

2010-08-10T11:04:00.000-07:00

Randoms ~ things going through my mind

~ I have become completely obsessed with cleaning out my garage. I think about it all day while I’m at work and every box I empty out I seriously feel like doing a happy dance.

~Once the garage is completely cleaned out I have plans on making a super awesome playroom since baby #3 will mean less room.

~I have found things while cleaning out my garage that are priceless and things I thought were lost…. Mya’s u/s picture. This might sound morbid, but I really wish that they would have printed out an u/s picture when we discovered that she had passed away. I wonder if it’s in my charts that the Sacramento office sent over to my Medford OBGYN. I just might ask. The u/s picture I found was from our first appt. There’s just a little sac, but she was in it and that is something I always want to treasure.

~Now that I’ve found her u/s picture I want to create a shadow box in remembrance of her. And get another urn necklace made w/the remainder of her ashes to put inside of it. I am so relieved that we still have ashes since Ella flushed my original urn necklace down the toilet…. That was a sad, sad day.

~I’ve also found my mother’s Book of Mormon from when she was a little girl. That to me is a priceless treasure.

~My daughter is turning 3 on Saturday. She’s overwhelmingly excited for her party on Saturday and I’m overwhelmingly excited for her! She’s anticipated this day for a VERY long time.

~I’m on my 3rd week of work. I’m surviving and I actually kind of enjoy it. The break from the house was probably much needed, especially with a new baby on the way…. But my heart definitely misses my kids.

~I had a prenatal appointment yesterday. Very uneventful, but those are the best in my opinion. I was in and out and won’t be back for another 4 weeks. Baby’s heartbeat was beautiful. On Sunday I will be 6 months pregnant! It’s flying by! Still have no morning sickness and have been feeling absolutely wonderful. About dang time!

Just a Motivating Monday ~ a marriage post

2010-08-09T13:09:00.000-07:00

**Just a Motivating Monday Button will be uploaded later**

If you're just joining in:

I LOVE inspiring things to motivate me and I thought what better of a day to read inspiration than on dreadful Mondays. If you would like to write something you think will inspire or motivate others PLEASE link up!! I'd love to read your words and I'm sure that other's would as well!

Editing to add that I am submitting this in for my Pour Your Heart Out post for the week.

Lately there have been some things happening in a marriage to a couple I know, not close with, but I know them. I know the details of their marriage through an individual who is close with me and close with them. {can’t give details on who it is exactly for their privacy}

Their marriage is in utter turmoil. A girl has entered into the man’s life, a girl who has no respect for family or marriage, and this man is willing to just throw away his MARRIAGE over some young girl who will walk away from him when the drama of his wife finding out starts. For now they’re just both enjoying the excitement of LUST nothing more than just that. While they’re enjoying this, there’s a wife at home with a baby that has no idea.

No idea that the man who is supposed to stick with her through thick and thin, for better for worse is planning to end their marriage over a girl that it is in my best interest to not describe my opinion of her, because I am better than that.

When learning of the events going on currently in this marriage I can’t help but feel sad. I haven’t always been an advocate of making your marriage work. My marriage by no means has ever been perfect ~ in fact we’ve had problems in the past that would make your head spin and most people run to the family courts for divorce papers.

But we’re here.

We’re happy.

We’re not perfect, but we know that our marriage matters. We know that our children matter. We know that there is no force out there that can interfere with our happiness. Period. There is nothing too big that we can’t talk and work through. Resorting outside of our marriage is not an option. Period.

These people are not friends of mine, and I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much, but it is. It’s made me reflect A LOT on marriage and has me very grateful for mine and the small problems it contains.

My heart aches for his wife. I’m sure she’s not perfect in her marriage, probably has taken him for granted for the most part, but all it takes is a little communication. TALK! If you’re having issues in your marriage roll up your sleeves and get to work on it. Don’t be a coward and go find the first young home wrecker and destroy your family.

At the end of the day…. Your immediate family is ALL YOU HAVE. Friends come and go, extended family even comes and goes, LUST comes and goes…. It’s what is under your roof that will love you unconditionally, be there for you when you need it the most. So, doesn’t that deserve the most devotion and work from you?

I'm posting this as my Just a Motivating Monday post because for some reason this situation is motivating me in a weird way to pay extra special attention to my marriage. It's making me think A LOT on what's important in life, in family, in marriage, in parenting ~ a whole mess of thoughts are going on through my mind.

Who would've thought?!

2010-08-09T08:18:00.000-07:00

Who would have thought that in order for me to just get some major things done at my house all I'd need to do is just go and get a JOB! I have no idea what in the world my deal has been at home these past 3 years, but ever since I've been OUT OF THE HOUSE I'm doing more IN THE HOUSE.

This weekend I did some major transformations in my garage. I found things that made me oooooo and ahhhh and things my friend who was in there with me wanted to hit me over the head with for not having up in my home. But I'm finally organizing MAJORLY and I think I'm even ready to bust out some paint and have this home of our's {well, sortof since we don't own it} the way I envision it.

I need to remember after this working thing I'm doing is over that I MUST stick to a schedule. I MUST take advantage of all the time I will have at home to ensure that my home looks how I want it.... to make my home the haven it should be for my family.

Working Mom, Turned Stay at Home Mom, Turned Working Mom

2010-08-04T22:10:00.000-07:00

For so many years ~ 5 years, 7 months I was a working mom. I was fortunate enough to be able to bring Jayden to work with me for the 1st year of his life, but after that.... I left him. EVERY, SINGLE DAY... MONDAY-FRIDAY. This changed in 2007 and I was so blessed to be able to become a work at home mom.

I have never had to leave Ella in the care of somebody else. I can't even begin to describe what that means to me.

But here I am after 3 years & 4 months I am back to work. It's completely a temporary thing, and luckily Gino and I have opposite schedules, so they kids don't have to go into anybody else's care... but, I am feeling extremely bugged about it tonight.

I get home at 3:20pm, and since I've started working Ella has stopped napping. You can tell when Ella is tired because she starts going into destruction mode then it's get to the point where you can't help but be completely irritated and it's not good.... because it starts when I get home. So, here I am missing out on the majority of the day with her and I get home and it's not enjoyable. I look at the clock longing for bedtime...

and I officially feel like the worst mother EVER. I hope I tomorrow is better, I hope that she's not exhausted and I'm not exhausted.

Dear November.... I can't wait til you get here.

I can't wait til I can wake up in the morning to my sweet little girl's sweet smile and laughter.

I can't wait to sit lazily at the table eating breakfast while we plan what fun events we'll do during the day together.

I can't wait to not have to miss out on another moment with her, because her days are now filled without me.... and I don't like it.... at all.

I can't wait to just be with Ella, because she's my best friend and I miss her.

My life was consumed by her, and now it's consumed with paperwork..... and computers.... and lunch breaks.... and silence. I haven't heard silence in years.

I used to think I could never be a stay at home mom. I used to think it took a special someone to do it, and that special someone could NEVER be me. But you know what, I can't imagine not being a stay at home mom. I guess that I am that special someone I never thought I could be. I hope that I can continue to do whatever it takes to ensure that I'm home with my babies... where my heart is.

and days like this too shall pass

2010-07-19T20:47:00.000-07:00

Today I sat in my car and wanted to cry.

I had to take a deep breath and tell myself that they're just kids and unfortunately sometimes this is what kids do.

Parenting is the hardest thing besides a marriage. I'm not sure which one is harder, but they're both pretty dang hard. Parenting and marriage become not hard when you choose to give up. That is something I will never do with either.

My son is probably one of the best, well behaved little boys out there. Yet today, he was completely defiant to me. Anything I told him to do he wouldn't do.... anything I told him not to do he'd do.

I am sitting here.... literally done. My brain hurts, I'm exhausted, and I want nothing more than my children to just go to bed. And my house to be magically put back together.

But the reality is they're not going to go to bed right now, I actually will have to put this house back together manually {myself}, and this is the life of a stay at home mom. It's exhausting yet so rewarding at the same time. Not every day is bad, and not every day is good.... but every day I am here with them and I need to remember that they need their mother to be patient with them, and I need to remember that this will pass. The days where my biggest concern is my son pushing my daughter on the merry go round when I asked him not to will be a day I really wish I could go back to.

These days that end with me literally drained from brain to the tips of my toes are days like this.....

and the day these little beauties of mine are all grown up and moments like these have passed I will definitely wish I could go back and soak it back in.

Just a Motivating Monday

2010-07-19T16:14:00.000-07:00

If you're just joining in:

I LOVE inspiring things to motivate me and I thought what better of a day to read inspiration than on dreadful Mondays. If you would like to write something you think will inspire or motivate others PLEASE link up!! I'd love to read your words and I'm sure that other's would as well!

I need a major dose of POSITIVITY! I am such a firm believer that our lives are what we create. So, if this is what I believe, then why don't I always practice this? HUMAN. I'm completely human and sometimes I let some negativity overtake my thoughts and then in my life starts to reflect my negativity.

I'm in the middle of reading an amazing book and there was a quote from it I can't stop thinking about.

"The bad news is your past was in your hands. But the good news is your future is in your hands as well."

I can absolutely look at my decisions from my past and see why I am where I am in my life. I can also see where I chose wrong and that I need to NOT repeat any decisions or actions that just made my future into what I didn't want it to be like.

I do know that if we can focus our thoughts on positivity and our dreams we can achieve amazing results. I know this, and sadly I haven't been putting my energy into this. I need this to change, so from today forward I'm going to make it a goal of mine to watch my thoughts, make sure I'm sending out positive frequencies so I can get positive results.

Lately I haven't been reading any self improving books, which I truly believe helps shape our lives. Today I chose to get my first Kindle book (can you believe I have had a DROID since February and haven't put the Kindle app on it yet?!?! CRAZY!) and I chose {The Traveler's Gift by Andy Andrews}. Probably the best decision I've made in my life in the past few months. It's amazing what a few positive, life changing words can do to your state of mind. If you've never read this book before I HIGHLY SUGGEST GETTING IT!

I hope that today's post will help you in some way to start being aware of your thoughts, because I truly do believe that they shape our lives.

Photography... jumping back in!

2010-07-14T20:02:00.000-07:00

With my morning sickness pretty much non-existant (insert extreme excitement dance here) I've been out with my camera! I've updated my {photography blog} with pictures from my most recent photo shoots, and I've even created a Facebook page for my photography which can find {HERE}

Here's a little peek at what I've been up to

The BIG news!!!!!

2010-07-14T19:23:00.000-07:00

I am SOOOOO excited to announce that we will be having another GIRL!!!! I am so excited for this on so many different levels. Ella is going to have a SISTER! I'm going to have my girls... we will get to all go out and get pedis and get our hair done together and go shopping together.

I never said what I really wanted, because either way of course I'd be happy, but the fact that it's a GIRL excited me to the very core.

The girls will outweigh the boys in the Garibay home!

Pour Your Heart Out.... she's a girl and I'm going to let her be one!

2010-07-14T19:07:00.000-07:00

I've been having blog issues... in fact my blog has been a bit MIA ~ literally over the past couple of weeks. I finally have at least this back and am working on getting my domain garibaysoup.com back.

With that being said....

I'm making a come back with a post for Shell's awesome Pour Your Heart Out Wednesday... because I have some major pouring to do.

I have a daughter. And I've always dreamed of having a daughter. I've had dreams for my daughter forever. Maybe her dreams will be different, and that's fine, but until she realizes what her dreams are I will be fulfilling mine for her.

I've always envisioned my little girl to be a little girl, a dancer, dressed in tutus and everything like sugar and spice. I know, this just might change when she's older, but for now she's living my vision.... and she loves it. She loves to dance, she loves to dress up, she loves being a girl. Keep in mind I'm not like putting makeup on her and throwing her in pageants and being like toddlers and tiaras, but I'm letting her be A GIRL...... does she look like she's suffering in this picture?

SO.... here's where I pour it all out.

We had my in-laws stop in for a night on their way to Washington {because we are a completely awesome ~~pit stop~~ place to stay} and for a night on their way back home. On their way up the visit was nice.... extremely short, but whatever. Apparently spending an extra day with my kids wasn't in their plans, but the visit on their trip back SUCKED.

There's a lot of things that went on that I'm not going to get into right now, but one thing irritated the hell out of me. My husband's little sister is going to be a freshmen in high school. Since she grew up with only brothers I guess her parents found it right to put her in sports all her life. Which is FINE! However.... I AM NOT DOING THIS WITH MY DAUGHTER. I REFUSE. If she comes to me and says, "Mom, I would like to play basketball." I will support her. But I am not going to shove her in sports, and I sure as hell am not going to shove my son who doesn't want to play sports into sports.

Well, apparently I'm unreasonable to not put Ella in sports in addition to dance classes. Um.... I'm pretty sure that she's my kid. I'm pretty sure that I carried her for 9 months, pushed her out and get to make the decisions for her until she can make them for herself. And that's the privilege I GET because I AM HER MOM.

So to have people enter my home and try to argue with me about this is the most IRRITATING thing in the entire world. We are not them, we will never be them. I am pretty sure that my husband and I are raising our children the way we WANT TO, and we will accept outside opinions when you are financially, emotionally and physically supporting my children... until then, please keep your opinions on what I should do with my children TO YOURSELF!

And my daughter will NEVER NEVER NEVER play softball... I would like to make that clear to my sister in law. So, you can put your daughter in softball, but mine will not be in softball.

Okay, that felt good.

A Sister I'll Never Have

2010-06-30T21:16:00.000-07:00

I've never shared the story of the life my siblings have lived. I'm not talking about my dad's daughter's..... I'm talking about the siblings that came from my mom. The siblings I always considered my "real" siblings.... almost like we were full blooded. But we're not, and I've learned that actually means something.

I really loved them, and sadly when they were only 5 & 6 they went to live with their father and I didn't see them until my brother was 12 and then my sister came around again when she was 14. When they came back the weird thing is it was almost like they had never left. I loved them so much and my sister became my best friend.

The sad thing is that love from her was extremely conditional. She's the type of girl that if you don't agree with her, or piss her off in some way she can go the rest of her life never talking to you again.... and I guess she's okay living like that. I don't have a relationship with her anymore, and sadly it was he said, she said bullshit regarding her oh so wonderful boyfriend. One thing I've tried really hard to do is walk on egg shells around her, even when I don't agree with her decisions.... I keep my mouth shut. Sadly, the inevitable happened and we no longer have a relationship. Not my choice.... her's. Did it hurt? HELL YES! She was my sister and she has chosen to believe crap over what her own flesh and blood says.

I think the funniest thing about her beginning this feud with me is that she in turn went to befriend people that I wasn't getting along with. People she HATED and talked the most insane crap about.... by the way, because I defended them that gave her a reason to distance herself from me. But now we have a new best friendship that's formed and I can't laugh hard enough. I for one know that if I don't like somebody one day I sure as hell am not going to like them the next. She has no identity. Unfortunately her childhood was so screwed up that she doesn't truly know who she is.

My opinions on people don't change like that. If I like you one day, I will probably love you the rest of my life whether you're in it or not. I've never had a friend that I don't consider a friend of mine today. It's the way I've always been. In high school I was choosy on my friends, because once you become a friend of mine I'll move mountains for you..... even if we recently had a stupid spat all it takes is one phone call asking for me to be there and you bet your ass I'm RIGHT THERE! Family, not so much. I'm always there, but I've learned that I actually have to really shield my heart from them. I've never really had to shield my heart from a friend. They've always come in when the whole world has gone out, and that's why friends to me mean so much more. I don't have to walk on egg shells with them. My family.... I do.

So, I know a lot of people have their sister as their maid of honor at their wedding, and I chose not to. I chose the one person who has been solid in my life since I was in preschool.... whether I moved across the country or not, and in my eyes that makes her more a sister to me than my own blood, who is so quick to throw away what I would think is one of the most important relationships you can have.

It's taken me a while to accept the fact that I will never have a relationship with my sister. Her children will never know mine, and my children will never know of her's. I'm not going to teach my children about family that isn't really family.

I'm not perfect. I'm not sitting her saying that I'm any better than Jessica. I've grown A LOT since I was 25 ~ every year I discover more and more about who I am, and what things and people mean to me. Even in the past 6 months I feel like I've grown to just not even care about the b/s that goes on anymore. I just have discovered that life is way too short, and negative energy towards people that I actually love is not worth it. And if they choose to be a part of my life and my children's life then GREAT! But if they choose not to, then that's their deal. I know that I'm a wonderful person who only ever wants to help my friends and family in any way I can. Those who are a part of my world and my life know this, and if you're not a part of my world and my life anymore, then I'm sure you know that when you were that's all I ever was for you.... somebody who you could ALWAYS rely on.

So while I'm not perfect, I'm going to continue nourishing the relationships in my life that matter, loving the people who are in my world, and always praying for those who aren't. I'm grateful for the wonderful friends and few family members that I do have. I do have 2 sisters that come from my dad that I have really gotten to grow to love. I am beyond blessed to have the friends that I do have in my life. Some I've had since I was a little girl, and other's just in the past couple of years... but they are nothing short of amazing.... and you all know who you are.

So, I have to let go... and this rambling post wasn't so much for my awesome readers, but more for me. I needed to get this out and put this to rest. I need to accept the fact that I don't have my sister anymore..... in fact, she's not my sister. I will always love her to death, but that doesn't give her the title of being my sister. Blood doesn't mean anything to me, when you can actually walk away from me. Hell, if it did then I'd actually call the sperm donor guy my dad HAHA.... that'll NEVER happen!

My Little Stutterer

2010-06-29T18:58:00.000-07:00

I love Shell's Pour Your Heart Out Wednesdays, because I am one that REALLY loves to pour her heart out on her blog. This week I'm dealing with something new and heartbreaking so here I go ~

A little over a week ago my little girl started to stutter. At first it would just be her repeating the first sound of the sentence over and over for a few times before she finally spit it out, but now it's worse. She actually will open her mouth and have such difficulty getting the word out that she just attempts trying.

This mama is HEARTBROKEN! I pray HARD that this is just some phase she's going through and she will outgrow it, and she won't stutter for the rest of her life.... because my heart can't handle her feelings getting hurt from the mean kids she'll encounter.

I made her a doctor's appointment, against everybody's advice. Even my son's speech therapist's advice. Luckily I saw him at the park and snagged him for a little insight into his brain on what we're going through. His main advice was patience, don't put words in her mouth, basically just let her work on it on her own. But she struggles and all I want to do is help her slow it down and give her the word she's trying to say.

Now here's the downfall of parenting. You hurt when they hurt and the more kids you have I think the more hurt you're going to have to feel! With having an SPD child I've hurt a lot. My heart has felt like it was literally stabbed when he comes home to tell me that some ~~evil~~ child has told him how weird he is. My heart has been stabbed as I've watched him with his beautiful manner at the age of 5 walk up to a kid to play with him and introducing himself as Jayden, while putting his hand out to shake it ~ only for that ~~evil~~ child to turn around and walk away from him.

I don't want my kids to hurt more than general life already will make them hurt. I don't want my daughter to come home crying because somebody made fun of her because no matter how hard she tried, she just couldn't get that word out.

I'm taking Ella to the doctors even if it's a waste of time and he tells me the exact same thing as the speech therapist told me, because I want to do everything I possibly can as early as I possibly can if this does indeed turn out to be a problem and not a phase.

I left my heart at Hertz Car Sales

2010-06-23T09:17:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was bittersweet for me. I had to make a decision that was best for my family. My beautiful, beautiful, fun car is GONE. I can't believe I actually got rid of it, but I had to tell myself.... it's JUST a car! I need my family to be comfortable with a 3rd baby on the way.... AND the amount of money I was paying for that beautiful car was borderline INSANE.

So, I smartened up a bit and traded it in yesterday. I went from

THIS

TO THIS

PEOPLE.... I AM A MINIVAN MAMA! The kids LOVE LOVE LOVE this car. I cried as I left the dealership and I don't think I was really nice to the people, because they were keeping the love of my life. But I'm okay. It's JUST a car and I can have a car like that any other time in my life.... but right now it's not logical. Did I mention my insurance has dropped $50 and I can only imagine how much my gas bill will drop w/not driving a hemi.

So there's the newest big change for the Garibays.

PREGNANCY UPDATE! 15 Weeks 1 Day

2010-06-17T22:07:00.000-07:00

So, as I write this out I'm actually 15 weeks 4 days, but I'm updating on my doctor's appointment that happened on Monday.

Weight: Total Down: 14lbs ~ Down 8lbs in 4 weeks (from my last appointment) Doctors aren't thrilled, but what can I do.

Baby ~ heart beat was there.... always a scary moment for me when they're looking for it. It was sortof an uneventful {that's never a bad thing} appointment.

I felt the baby move at 13 weeks exactly, but it isn't a constant thing I feel. Sometimes I think I feel a flutter, and today it seems to have picked up a bit more. My stomach within the past couple of days has completely bulged out and I'm finally actually looking pregnant. This has been so bizarre for me, because normally I start showing REALLY early on... this time it's taken me almost 4 months to show at all.

Morning sickness came back in full mode, but for the past 3 days I've kept everything down! I'm not taking any medications besides Pepcid, so maybe I'm finally getting to the point of feeling good. Crossing my fingers!

I have a high risk u/s scheduled for 7/6/10, so I'll get to find out the sex then! Then I have another u/s on 7/13/10. I get high risk u/s done because of Mya. Everything is going wonderful with this pregnancy and there's no reason to believe that anything bad could happen. I think this baby is here to stick around... well, it better be!

I am going to start doing my belly shots on Sunday so luck you guys get to see my belly!

Ella Got Pretties!

2010-06-17T17:14:00.000-07:00

I didn't get Ella's ears pierced when she was a baby. I think it's good to wait until they are old enough to want it themselves, but my husband disagreed with me. He wanted his baby girl to have pretties in her ear. Well, thanks to Ella's heart condition I got my way.... he was too scared it would put her in SVT.

Well, the time has come where Ella has decided she wants pretties in her ears. So, we went to the mall and had my sister (she works at an ear piercing place) pierce her ears. She did great! She only cried for a moment and then tried to get herself to stop so she could smile at herself in the mirror.

She completely looks like a little girl now.

Here's Ella with my sister right after getting her ears pierced

Ella's pretty little butterflies

Dear Ella

2010-06-08T22:56:00.000-07:00

Please, please, please slow the heck down on the growing up! I can't believe that if I call you baby you correct me with "I'm not a baby, I'm a girl." Well, since you replace a majority of letters w/n's it sounded more like "Girln"

You've been obsessing lately over your birthday party. It's seriously the cutest thing ever! You can't wait to have your party hats and your friends over and cake. Last year we really didn't do a birthday party for you {which is totally a parent fail} but this year I can promise you you'll get your party that you're looking so forward to.

The other night you came into my room looking for your ladybug dress. You needed it because you were going to wear it to the movies and you needed me to call all of your friends so they could go with you. Ella, you aren't even officially 3 yet! You still have 2 months! I can't believe you're already such a social little butterfly that you're thinking about getting friends together and going to the movies. I just want the clock to slow down for a second, because this going way too fast.

I worry about how you'll take this new baby coming into your world. I think you'll do great and I think you'll love your baby sister or brother so much, but I still worry. I hope you always know how extremely special you are to my heart. I can't even explain or put into words how much I love your sweet, independent, loving self. I love the little girl you are growing into, and while I really wish I could pause time I can't wait to watch you grow into the beautiful young woman I know you will be.

I love you, Ella.

Love, Mama

Faith ~ Scripture Journal

2010-06-01T21:06:00.000-07:00

Attn my dear blog readers. I understand that my Faith is likely to be different than your's and while I may make references to my faith at times I try to speak from my heart on a certain values or subjects. So, while you might not believe in what I believe in, you might find a little nugget from my heart that might touch your's. And my brain is scattered and sometimes my blog posts might come off that way as well

With that said.....

Without faith we don't have much. I was born LDS, but was not necessarily raised LDS. I don't think I ever once had a sturdy go to church every Sunday structure in my life. Honestly, I didn't know much about the church, but there was a seed that was planted in my heart at a very young age, and that seed grew. So while I never knew much about the church my heart belonged to, in my heart and with faith I knew this church was true.

I've been studying up on Faith, which is a very important value in all of our lives. I think this scripture pretty much sums up Faith in the most amazing way {Alma 32:17-32}.

Without faith, what dreams would we have. I dream big and I dream with faith. I have faith that my dreams will come true. I live my life knowing with faith that my family will be a family for all eternity. Do I have perfect knowledge of this? No, but it definitely gives me something to be thankful for. If I had perfect knowledge would I experience the lessons in life that I experience? Probably not. If I had perfect knowledge would there be much room for forgiveness from Heavenly Father for my sins? Probably not.

President Spencer W. Kimball once wrote a book called {Faith Precedes the Miracle} which is definitely on my list of must reads. In it he talks of how men reverses the process of Faith. Using a seed for example we plant a seed with FAITH that a blossom will form. We don't expect to see a blossom without planting the seed, right? We as human have reversed the process. We expect results without exercising Faith. I quote from President Kimball "We want to have health and strength without keeping the health laws. We want to have prosperity without paying our tithes. We want to be close to the Lord but don't want to fast and pray."

We have to have faith that there is a reason that God has set up our lives the way that they are set up. We have to have faith that there is a purpose to every day. We have to have a faith that we will be together with our families for all eternity, because could you fathom the contrary? Faith gets us through each day, through our lives, but we have to remember that the miracle comes after Faith. If you have a dream, you have to have faith in God that he will help you do everything possible to make that dream come true.

With parenting and marriage I think I have experienced far more faith than ever in my life. Not only faith in God, but faith in myself, faith in my husband, faith in my children. Parenting alone has so many trials and without faith I don't know how I'd get through my day. Even the little things, faith that bedtime will indeed come and I will have that peace I so desperately need, faith that the tantrum being thrown will pass. Faith that the phases that they go through that make you want to literally pull every single hair out of your head is just indeed a phase. Faith in yourself that you are what your children need.

Marriage, I have to have faith that my marriage will succeed all trials that it faces. I have to have faith that he loves only me, as he has to have faith that I only love him. We do not have perfect knowledge of these things, which is why in marriage faith is one of the most important things there is. Faith in our sacred relationship is what helps us get through the trials. I have faith that every trial we face is dealt to us for a reason and that there is a lesson to be learned through it. In my marriage we have faced some ROUGH, and I mean ROUGH ROUGH ROUGH trials. I've said it before on my blog, things people throw the towel in over and call it quits, but FAITH kept us together. Faith that we were bigger than the trials we went through, and Faith that God would help us to get to the point we needed to be at in order to continue on with our marriage ~ and love each other.

I close this post with a quote from {Alma 32:21} "Faith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true."

Parenting.... hardest most rewarding thing in the world

2010-05-29T23:03:00.000-07:00

I know all parents think this, but this isn't all parents' blog.... this is Jayden & Ella's mom's blog. So in my eyes, and in my world they are the best thing that God has put on this earth.

Parenting is so challenging and patience is such a hard thing to have, but tonight as I looked at my children I knew patience is the one thing they deserve more from me than anything else. Pregnant or not, hormonal or not, messy house or not.... these kids deserve patience. And patience is exactly what I've been lacking during this pregnancy.

Sometimes I really don't feel like I'm the best mom. I know there's no "best" mom out there, and compared to people who leave their children to go party, leave them at daycare all day while working just to pick them up and drop them off somewhere else, because they can't handle them and would rather pawn them off onto someone else ~ I'm a heck of a lot better than that, but I'm just feeling sucky. Morning sickness really has a way of messing up your everything in life. The exhaustion of pregnancy makes you feel completely helpless, and have food aversions makes everything even worse.

But I have to remember, that I am a good mom. These kids are the entire center of my world and they are why I do everything I do in my life. I really hope that their memories of their childhood consists of good ones, and I'm making it my ultimate goal for them to remember their mom as an excellent mom.

While life has been a bit hard through this pregnancy, this too shall pass. My pregnancy with Ella wasn't the easiest, and I actually threw up every day of it ~ but that's not what I dwell on, and that's not strong in Jayden's memories.

~I love my children

when they're sleeping soundly and life is calm and quiet,

I stare at them and pray to God to give me what my children need...

patience, love, understanding and faith

most of all faith.~

12 Weeks, 4 Days and counting!

2010-05-27T21:41:00.000-07:00

This pregnancy is going really well. We're already in the 2nd trimester and my throwing up is finally coming to a halt (thanks so much to the drugs my OB prescribed me). Between the throwing up and my complete loss of an appetite to any food that isn't a fruit or a vegetable has put my weight gain to a whopping -10 lbs. YUP ~ I've lost 10 pounds this pregnancy... and I'm not complaining!

We've been fortunate to see the baby a few times already throughout this pregnancy, and the latest was yesterday. And I fell head over heels IN LOVE! The baby was moving all around and had its hands above its head ~ complete cuteness! I even have a picture here for you to see.

Ella is completely convinced that it's a boy, I'm convinced it's a girl, and Jayden's praying it's a boy. Gino doesn't care... he just wants his cuddle bear here.

So, here's the u/s pic from yesterday. If you look you can see the head, the body the baby's arms over its head and you can even see its little fingers. Pure love coming from this mama's heart!

Jayden's Baptism

2010-05-27T21:12:00.000-07:00

We believe in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints that children are innocent and do not fully understand the difference between right and wrong until they reach the age of 8. Baptism is for the remission of sins, and a very special ordinance between Heavenly Father and yourself. We wait to baptize until the age of 8, because before this age you really haven't sinned, or understand what commitments you are making with Heavenly Father.

With that being said.... on April 10,2010 Jayden entered the waters of baptism, and it was such a wonderful and special day. We had the honor of having my Grandfather, Jayden's Great-Grandfather come up from California and baptize him. It was absolutely special!

We had great friends that all showed up to witness this special day for Jayden. We sang a couple of his favorite primary songs and had delicious chocolate cake afterwards. One thing I'll never forget is when he stepped into the baptismal font he says "HOT!" and then after he got baptized he actually started swimming in the water! Oh that boy keeps me laughing.

Jayden & his Great-Grandpa

I'm so proud of you, Jayden, for the decision that you have made. I know that the decision that you made was the right one, and I know in my heart that this church is true.... and I'm so proud of you for taking this journey to discover it on your own. I love you so much and I hope that you always follow your heart and listen to the Holy Spirit, because he will NOT steer you wrong.... I can promise you that. Your relationship with Heavenly Father is such a personal one, and I hope you strive to strengthen it and grow closer and closer to him and soak in his teachings. I love you so much. Love, Mama

Mission Monkey

2010-05-14T17:23:00.000-07:00

I have a very happy life.

My children and us are healthy, happy and I feel we are extremely blessed.

This can change in the blink of an eye though.

Meet Monkey. Life was normal just a couple weeks ago. Then her mom found a lump, then was told her 16 month old baby has cancer.

Life changed. And I can't stop thinking about how one second life can be good, the next so bad.

I'm giving my babies more hugs and kisses and thanking God more for my blessings, but knowing that life can't always go as we have planned. We have to embrace what good is going on in our lives at the moment. I can't dwell on the past, I can't dwell on relationships that haven't worked.

I can just be thankful for my current blessing, my current happiness, because tomorrow it can all be gone.

To follow Monkey's story you can head over to Michelle's blog {Momma's Pixie Dreams} offer her your support, prayers and love as she ventures into a journey of cancer with her child.... it's not right, it's not fair.

Pour Your Heart Out - Norm's Passing

2010-05-12T19:12:00.000-07:00

This post is a weird one... I didn't write all I wanted to, and maybe put things in it that I didn't want to.

When I was 6 a man entered my family's life that would forever change it. The sad thing is I don't have the best of memories about him. He was actually a mean, miserable old man that was obsessed with working. He ruined holidays and made things down right miserable. He was wealthy and stingy and gave to strangers before family. Things I never truly understood, but he wasn't put on this earth for me to understand. He was my Grandma's husband.

But as I grew older I appreciated him more and the things that he had done for me. I even asked him to walk me down the aisle at my wedding, because what other constant man did I have in my life? I know that it meant a lot to him to be able to give me away.

I remember when I was young... like junior high or younger young and my uncle Bryane was graduating from high school. We had made a comment about how amazing it would be if Norm was still alive when I graduated high school. He was diagnosed with leukemia many years ago, even before my grandma and him got married. He's cheated death more times than I ever imagined anybody would, and lived a very long 86 years of life. He died a death that was miserable and definitely not something that I would ever wish on anyone. Cancer ate away his body and money ate away his soul.

In his final years I spent a lot of time with him. He actually came to Oregon last summer (ack I believe ~ may have been the summer before....see where my mind is going?!) He stayed about a mile away from me in a retirement community and I definitely enjoyed my time with him. I would pick him up and go out to dinner, always Olive Garden {a family favorite} and would go rub lotion on his feet. I actually really started to know him through his time here. The one thing that made me feel good, is he was never nice to people wherever he would go, but he was never mean to me. He loved me, and in a weird way I loved him too.

My family is in major turmoil right now. So many people aren't talking to each other, and Norm dying has put a few things in perspective for ME. I no longer have the energy for the he said she said crap that goes on in this family. A man I never thought would die, died. I'm sure that things will be getting real ugly in our family over his death. I'm grateful that I'm not a part of it.

I did make a phone call to my grandma who I don't really talk to anymore. It was nice to talk to her, and hope that we can continue a relationship that is minus crap and drama and business. I don't have it in me anymore to fight with anybody in my family. If they want a part of my life I'm here, if they don't that's their problem.... not mine. I've found happiness without all of them. I know that sounds harsh, but with my family it's not.

So, I will not be attending Norm's funeral. There's so much else going on behind the scenes that I really want no part of and instead will be doing something in his honor that will be remembering him and his life. I pray that he has found peace, because there wasn't much of it in his life on this earth. He accomplished many great things, but the man never stopped.... even on his death bed.

Norm, I want you to know that I do appreciate the things that you did for me when you were on this earth. While I don't have the best of memories, I do have some good ones and I'll always treasure those. I'm so happy that you are no longer suffering and dealing with the chaos.

**My favorite known fact about Norm is that he was friends with Frank Sinatra**

Oh Hi! And BIG NEWS!

2010-05-10T20:19:00.000-07:00

I make a comeback to my blog bearing news. I've stayed offline for a while due to the fact that my computer makes me sick. It's really hard to look at the screen. And if you're not on my facebook, you missed the announcement yesterday where I told everybody that I am 10 weeks pregnant. And devastatingly sick with morning sickness. I even checked myself into the hospital last Wednesday for a couple bags of much needed fluids, and left with a much needed prescription to Zofran.

While I've been gone from internet land I've been keeping a mental note of things that I need to blog. And at the top of that list is Jayden's baptism. So, I'm working on that post and might even get it up tonight. Here's a little low down of what's been going on in my world.....

We spent last weekend on the Oregon Coast. We even had a beautiful room w/a jacuzzi tub on the balcony overlooking the ocean. It was a much needed mini vacation ~ and it was a total relaxation trip so not one beach picture was taken!

A man that has been in my life and actually gave me away at my wedding, a man that stood as the only father figure (in a weird sense) in my life passed away last week. A blog post on this is in the works.

Honestly... other than the above, nothing exciting has really gone on here. Gino has taken the word rockstar husband to a whole new level and has pretty much stepped in as the mother/housewife around these parts since I've been feeling so crappy. I'm hoping that in 2 weeks when the 2nd trimester starts that the morning sickness goes away and that I get some energy....... oh how I really, REALLY miss energy.

Quick Check In

2010-04-23T18:38:00.000-07:00

I got a few emails checking in on me so I thought I'd do a quick post letting you all know I'm okay :) I have taken a blog break this past week, which was much needed. There will be no Just a Motivating Monday this week again, but will resume next Monday. I should be back with a post all about Jayden's baptism early this upcoming week. Now I'm off to my in-laws for the weekend ~ (WE HAVE A HOUSE SITTER IF YOU THINK THIS IS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO ROB THE GARIBAYS).

She Takes My Breath Away

2010-04-16T10:40:00.001-07:00

His First Meeting with Bishop

2010-04-14T22:49:00.000-07:00

The first part of this post really isn't my Pour Your Heart Out ~ it's more towards the end. I originally didn't write this post as a Pour Your Heart Out post, but realized that towards the end that's kinda what I did :)

We've set the baptism date {this Saturday, 5:00pm LDS church in Ashland on Clay Street} So, if you didn't know about it, now you know about it. You can consider this your invitation :)

A picture of my favorite LDS Temple in SLC ~ Jayden loved going to this temple

Today Jayden had to go talk with the Bishop like every member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints gets to do before baptism. When we set the appointment I thought to myself... 'Uh oh! Does Jayden even know what he's doing?! Why he's getting baptized?! What the heck this all means?!' So, we sat down to ask him a few questions to see how much he knew. Even though he goes to church, loves Jesus, loves God knows that the Holy Ghost is a good thing and not a creepy thing.... he really didn't have a clue.

I've tried to explain it to the best of my abilities, and I was very pleased today when he got out of his appointment with the Bishop that Bishop said... "He did great! Answered all the questions I had right." THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I really didn't think he was paying attention to the things I was telling him.

I'm so excited for my handsome, little man.

I look at our lives 5 years ago, when Jayden was only 3 and wow, what a difference. I never would have thought in a million years we'd be where we are at in our lives. I never thought in a million years I'd be back at church let alone bringing my entire family with me. I never thought I'd be planning my son's baptism. 5 years is a HUGE difference. 5 years ago my marriage was on the rocks, 5 years ago I never thought my family would last.... and now look at us. It makes me smile and makes feel so proud of US, because we did this together ~ and it makes me borderline emotional to think about it. I think that we have the church to thank for where we are at in our lives right now, because it gave us the missing piece in our lives that we never knew we were missing. It's really funny how that can happen, how you can discover that when you thought your life was complete it really wasn't. Just another interesting little weirdness about life.

Precious Alana has left ~ Psycho Blog Stalkers... hope you enjoy!

2010-04-12T23:22:00.000-07:00

Hello stalkers welcome to the stalker club, because sadly I have many. And yes, I did know that you people were coming to my blog ~ just like I know that Alana's brother's mom is STILL coming here and reading about my life, which is a little creepy. BUT I really hope you share with Carina all of the things I have written, because THEY ARE THE TRUTH. Carina knows I love her and would do anything for her and Alana, but I SPEAK THE TRUTH IT'S WHAT I DO ~ AND SOMETIMES THE TRUTH HURTS LIKE HELL.

Since that has been addressed.....

There are many things in life that unfortunately we can't control. I know this, and in my family I'm known among them all as the one who likes to always have things in control and I take situations and make them mine. I don't know why I do this, maybe it's the mother hen {thank you, Kandi, for this word.. I use it often lol} in me, but I feel like everybody's problems are my problems ~ therefore I attempt to solve them.

I don't care who's reading this blog. I don't care if my niece Alana's "other" family reads it {since creepily they do}, because I never lie on here, I only tell life how it is. Sorry that it's not a pleasant thing. I'm sorry that my niece has had to live a life of being tossed here tossed there. I'm sorry I was giving her a very good life.

She woke up everyday happy, and layed in bed next to her cousin as they read books. They'd eat their breakfast, and play and go next door to their BFF's house. If we didn't play at home we played at other places, fun kid places. She lived a life of laughter, smiles & happiness. She took a nap at the same time every day. She ate her vegetables, but knew that she had to say her prayers before eating those vegetables. She had fun bath time with her cousin and sometimes with her BFF too. They were 3 peas in a pod those girls. Nighttime she loved to get in HER princess toddler bed. She loved it.

I know that her mom was not happy about what she had to do. I know deep down that her mom knows she's better off here than anywhere else.... FOR NOW. I say for now, because every child needs their mama, but every child needs their mama when they're on the right track.... putting what's important first. I know her mom was tricked into even coming up here, and I wish she had a spine to tell them all what she thinks, and how she knew {because she's told me over and over} that that Alana is safe and happy HERE.

Do I think Alana's going to be safe? Not too sure on that. If her mom is taking her to her "grandma's" house then kindof. I know that her mom leaves her during the day w/one of the drug addict psycho men that were creeping around my house last week. I don't think that's very safe. If she stays with her mom, then we have her with her mom who is struggling really bad right now. I wish she'd get help so she can be a mom to Alana. Alana needs structure, Alana needs to know that she isn't going to be ripped from here, tossed to there, and that the bed she lays in at night will be the same bed she wakes up to in the morning. She needs what we gave her. I wish more than anything it was something that her mom could give her, but right now ~ she can't.

I'm extremely grateful tonight that my children have structure, stability, and security. I'm extremely grateful that even though I'm far from perfect, that they have a good mom. It's funny that at times I really do stop and question if I'm that good of a mom. Then I think about all of the things I've given my children. Structure, stability, security, the gospel, God, love, 2 parents, and lots and lots of laughter. I'm a good mom. I need to remember that when I'm thinking otherwise.

I could go on and on, but I won't. My heart is sad, my home definitely feels like something is missing, and believe it or not ~ I feel SO bad for Carina, Alana's mom. I couldn't imagine being in a situation where first off I go almost 2 months without seeing my daughter, and then I have people pulling the strings in my own life. One thing about me is I do what I know is right and good for my kids, my family and myself. She's not in a place in her life that she can do this, and that makes me so sad. Alana had a picture that she carried with her and even slept with of her mom and dad when her mom was pregnant with her. It broke my heart, because she looked so happy, so healthy. I wish she could find her way back there for Alana's sake. Alana needs her mom to be happy & healthy, so that in turn Alana can be happy & healthy. I've known Carina for a long time, and she's like a little sister to me. I've always been here for her, and wish I could make all of her problems disappear ~ but I can't.

So, tonight, it's all in God's hands. Not only does Alana need your prayers, but it wouldn't hurt to give Carina your prayers as well. And my Ella needs prayers. She's sad. She lost her best friend, her cousin. Tomorrow will be a hard day for her, but mommy will make sure that she has a good one. Because I'm THAT kind of mom.

Just a Motivating Monday - Quote by Julie Beck

2010-04-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

"A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do. Life is not calm for most women, and each day seems to require the accomplishment of a million things, most of which are important. A good woman must constantly resist alluring and deceptive messages from many sources telling her that she is entitled to more time away from her responsibilities and that she deserves a life of greater ease and independence. But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently."

A powerful quote by Sister Julie Beck that really touched home with me. I just wanted to leave this simple for you to reflect on your own. If you'd like to read her talk in its entirety {CLICK HERE}

Ultimate Blog Party 2010!!!

2010-04-09T21:22:00.000-07:00

I LOVE PARTIES!!!!! And there's no better party than the Ultimate Blog Party hosted by 5 Minutes for Mom. Sorry for the novel below, I just want you to get to know ME.

To start out my name is Amanda and you can find me over at Twitter as {@GaribaySoup}

A little about Garibay Soup ~ I just sortof lay it all out on the line here. I blog about personal things, matters of faith, marriage, food, BASICALLY LIFE! I originally started this blog as a way to keep my family updated since we moved away from ALL OF THEM. Now, this blog has nothing to do with them and everything to do with ME. This is my place, my corner in the web. Readers or not, I will always be here ~ but I really really really LOVE all of my readers!

Mondays are an extremely exciting day for me here at Garibay Soup as I host my very own carnival called Just a Motivating Monday. I am an inspiration junkie. I LOVE anything at all that will inspire me, and I love to share inspiring things with my readers. So every Monday you can count on reading something that will inspire you over here at Garibay Soup. And if you'd like to write a post, or share a quote you can join in! For previous Just a Motivating Monday's {CLICK HERE}

A little about my family ~ I have been married for going on 6 years next month to my best friend. Our marriage is by no means perfect, but we do EVERYTHING in our power to never give up. We have survived things that people get divorced over, and because we stuck through the hard times, we are reaping the benefits now. I love to blog about marriage and read other's posts about marriage. Marriage to me is the most sacred and wonderful union and I strive to make my marriage perfect ~ as in OUR perfect.

We have 2 beautiful children ~ an 8 year old Son, Jayden & a 2 year old daughter, Ella. Jayden is my shining star and has one of the sweetest souls that anyone who has ever met has come in contact with. He has Sensory Processing Disorder and we're in the process of all the diagnosis stuff. Ella is our vibrant ~~h3ll raiser~~ princess who has completely changed my life. She has taught me about the importance of life and how precious life is. She was diagnosed with a heart condition called Wolfe Parkinson White Syndrome when she was 7 weeks old, and a month before she turned 2 she overdosed on her heart medication..... scariest moment of my life. I thank God every day that she's still here with us and growing into the beautiful little girl that she is. You can read more about her heart condition and about her overdose {HERE}

ME... you want to know about me??? I'm a child of God, and every day my faith in the Church of {Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints} grows stronger and stronger. I am not perfect, but I strive to be. I am obsessed with self help/self motivating books that better who I am as a person. This is something new to me, but I love who I am turning into. I am the type of friend that once you are my friend I would move mountains for you, but it takes me a while to let people too close to my heart. I LOVE the blog world, because there's always somebody that can relate to you and I have by far found the most amazing support system I've ever had. I love photography and have another blog for my photography journey you can see that {HERE} My family means more to me than anything in this world, and at the end of the day the only thing that matters is them and their safety, happiness and love.

If you come over unannounced to my house, there's going to be toys scattered from wall to wall and you might see a few crumbs on the floor ~ but we are one of the happiest families out there. And to me, that's all that matters.

I work at home. I am so so so fortunate to be a part of a company where I get paid when people pay their cell phone bills, their cable bills, their internet bills, their home phone bills, and I get to offer them breakthrough VOIP Video phone technology that is AWESOME! Oh, did I mention that this year I'll be getting paid every, single time people pay their power bill??? And my friends and family love me to absolute death because I save them $$$ on all of these services ~ we ALL love to save money, right? Yes, I am very fortunate. If you're curious let me know and I'll give you more details.

I hope you enjoy your look around and I can't wait to come and check out your blog!!

And if you aren't a part of the party you absolutely SHOULD BE! There's some amazing prizes and my most favorite top prizes are 1. Toshiba Satellite L505D-ES5025 2. A Rocking Horse To Love and then everything else they have to offer is AMAZING!!! I'd be thrilled winning about ANYTHING.

A Scary Night

2010-04-07T21:57:00.000-07:00

The prior two blog posts before this one were removed for the majority of today. I wasn't sure who was reading my blog, and things got extremely CRAZY and scary regarding the situation with my niece Alana that I felt that I had to remove the posts until her fate was secure.

My last post towards the end said... I never truly know what I'm going to wake up to. That statement couldn't have been more true.

I woke up in the middle of the night to men creeping around my house. Men that drove 5 hours to come and take my niece from me.... and I was home alone. And scared out of my mind. THANK GOD I have the most amazing neighbor in the entire world that informed me about this and stayed on the phone with me until my husband got home {unfortunately right now he works late}. Cops were called {they didn't see them or catch them} and we didn't sleep well ~ my husband sat up on the couch with one eye open... all night long. I don't know what their intentions were in the middle of the night, but I can assure you they weren't good. Why in the world they would drive 5 hours after I told them there is no way I would hand my niece over to them ESPECIALLY without her mom's permission.... and talking with my niece's mom and hearing her concerns about her brother & mother's intentions.

People... I was scared. I had never in my entire life felt my heart pound as hard as it was pounding.

In the morning they finally decided to approach our home again and knock this time. I shuffled the girls into a hiding place and we were not answering the door. Then they called, and I answered. I threatened to call the police, and they left. They figured they'd try to call the police and get Alana that way.

Didn't work. The cops told them they need to leave as Alana will not be taken out of my home unless her mother who at this point has full rights takes her out. Thank you, God.

She's still here, she's still safe.

An Update for my 2nd Glass of Pour your Heart Out

2010-04-06T21:43:00.000-07:00

I SERIOUSLY never know what to expect with the situation with my niece and her mother. If you haven't read {THIS} post yet, you should. This is an update to my post for

The original plan was that my niece's mother was leaving Sacramento yesterday at 7pm to drive 5 hours, in the snow to pick up Alana. Then after she picks her toddler up and disturbs my family in the middle of the night, she then was planning on traveling back to Sacramento, in the snow, with her toddler. Needless to say, I was frustrated and upset.

Then I get a phone call from her saying that she's going to instead be leaving at 2pm today. Then I get a message left on my voicemail from her brother saying they'll be leaving around 2 and will be arriving here around 7. Whatever.

Oh, that's when things change. This morning I could tell her mom had been partying all night and now she's having issues with her family and has canceled the entire thing. So, now after I have prepared Alana for her mom coming to get her she has changed her mind. Alana was expecting her mom, and I am relieved.

Her brother most definitely had not changed his plans, because I received a call from him letting me know he's running late. I had to inform him that I most definitely will not be handing Alana over to ANYBODY except for her own mother, and at this point her own mother prefers her to remain here with me. Thank God. Did he actually think I would hand over my niece to an absolute stranger {in my eyes}, he obviously doesn't know me and the protective mother hen I am when it comes to my children and any child in my care.

People.... this is a very, very crazy roller coaster. I really never truly know what I'm going to wake up to. So for now we still have her. For now, she's still safe.

Believe it or not, there's more {HERE}

Pour Your Heart Out - #2

2010-04-05T21:37:00.000-07:00

On Wednesday's Shell {if you click on the image below you will be taken to her awesome blog} has one of my new favorite carnivals ~ and I'm EXTREMELY early in posting this, but tonight was a night that I absolutely had to........

so if you're reading this post and would like to participate in Pour Your Heart Out, Shell will have it up for linkups Wednesday morning.

I have had my niece Alana for 44 days. For 44 days a mother has been putting something before her own child. For 44 days a child has been without her mother. For 44 days I have struggled with trying to give this child normalcy, structure and love. Things I don't think she's seen very often, because unfortunately most of her life has been spent being tossed here, being tossed there.

I'm writing this after I received the phone call that after 44 days her mom will be coming tomorrow to get her. She's done with her party {for the time being} and is ready to play mommy for a while. But how long will it last? This is the part of taking a child into your home that's the hardest.

I HAVE to put this in God's hands and know that there is nothing I can do at this point. This child unfortunately was born to a girl who should have never been given the blessing of a child. She has no clue what honor it is to be able to love and teach your child. She has no clue what being a mom is all about. To her, when she's tired of playing the responsible role, she just tosses her to the next willing person that will take her in. I'm sad to say that unless rights are going to be signed over to me I will not be this person anymore. I can't be. It's too unstable for her and my family. My children get close and attached and then have to have her ripped from them. 44 days is a very long time in they eyes of a child. Bonds have been made.

I now have to worry about my daughter and how she's going to feel that a member of our family who has become a huge part of our life is ripped from her. Jayden is old enough that he understands that Alana was not here on a permanent basis, but my 2 1/2 year old doesn't. As much as they fought, they got along. Ella will be getting more one on one attention with me, but what about her constant play mate? I've tried to be strong and put a wall around my heart, but tonight I'm sad. I'm sad of what's to come of this precious little girl's life. I'm sad that I didn't fight harder for her. I'm sad that she's leaving the one place in her life that actually had a family feel. Not just a mom, but a dad, a brother, a sister... although we were just aunt, uncle & cousins... but it's the feeling I'm talking about. She got to experience going to church, praying before meals, getting tucked in at night. She got to experience love. And I'm sad to say that what she comes from doesn't shower her with love. Any mom that ever puts drugs and men before their own child doesn't know about being a mom.

I wish I could give Alana the life she deserves, but for now it's not in my hands. All I can do is put it into God's.

UPDATE TO THIS CAN BE READ {HERE}

Just a Motivating Monday - Quotes from LDS Conference

2010-04-04T18:24:00.000-07:00

It's hard to put into words what I experienced this weekend. One thing I wanted to do for Just a Motivating Monday is share some very heart touching quotes that came from the semi-annual conference that the members of the LDS church get to experience.

This weekend the conference seemed to be based on families, parenting, motherhood. Things that I feel I personally needed to be strengthened on. The words that were spoken this weekend spoke straight into my heart.

"The most important work you will ever do are within the walls of your own home." ~Elder Ballard

"Hold your tongues about things that don't matter."

~Elder Ballard

The two above quotes by Elder Ballard really touched me. How many of us sometimes put what's in our home 2nd? I as a mother needed to hear this ~ what work we put into our families is the most important, and I need to put more effort into ensuring that we are all growing spiritually together. In this life NOTHING should ever be more important than your family, and passing on your faith, wisdom, and knowledge to your children so they can take that with them throughout their lives. It is our divine responsibility to teach our children about Jesus, and the gospel.

The 2nd quote ~ There are so many things that don't matter, so why do I even talk about them? This quote I REALLY needed to hear, and am so thankful that I did.

"Every person we meet is a VIP to our Heavenly Father."

~ President Uchtdorf

"A tattered & worn $20 bill is still worth $20.00. ~ I am beat, worn, torn & crumpled, but I still have worth."

~ President Uchtdorf

"We can speak of love all day long, but until we manifest that love into action, our words are nothing."

~President Uchtdorf

"Jesus talked the talk and walked the walk, but he walked louder than he talked."

~ President Uchtdorf

President Uchtdorf is one of my most favorite talkers. I am always pleased at every talk he has given and was definitely not disappointed this time as well. He put in beautiful words how we should love everyone. I think the $20.00 bill analogy was PERFECT. We've all been worn and torn but we all still have worth, and to God we are ALL His children and he loves us all. Something I thought long and hard is how would you feel if someone was mean one of your children? It hurts you, right? I think that's how Heavenly Father feels when we are mean to His children, because that's what everybody is. We are all important to Him.

I hope this inspired you this Monday to realize that first and foremost, our homes are the center of everything. We need to strengthen our families, and teach our children the things we want them to take into the world with them as they grow. In my case, it's the gospel of Jesus Christ. To you, it might be different, but it's our duty as parents to teach our children.

I also hope that these quotes have inspired you to love others. After I watched this conference I realized that there are many people that I stress about and have done so much wrong to me and I've realized they are the ones that need my prayers and love the most.

There are so many more quotes and heart touching things that were spoken during the conference and if you would like to hear these talks you can do so {HERE}

Did you already hear the talks? What was one of your favorite quotes?

Easter with a Wedding

2010-04-01T21:39:00.000-07:00

This is our 2nd Easter having Alana with us. Last year was so much fun and the kids looked absolutely adorable. We headed to California and went to Grandma & Grandpa's house for some easter fun!

This year we're doing the same thing. Tomorrow we're packing up and heading to California to go spend Easter with my in-laws. It's honestly the best place to go for holidays. We have the family feel, and the kids love them. So I'm excited!

This year Jayden is 8 and he still believes in the Easter Bunny. I try to grasp to these little things, because they still show that he's a kid. While he might be growing up, he's still not grown.

Saturday we'll be heading to a wedding though. Gino's cousin is getting married and they asked me to be the photographer. I declined and declined again until I finally agreed. They really need somebody and have no problem being my guinea pig for a wedding. I'm nervous as all heck, but excited too. It will be a fun experience ~ and I've always wanted to take pictures of a bride.

So, I hope that everybody has a very Happy Easter!!

Crazy Hectic Day ~ But I'll Survive

2010-03-30T22:38:00.000-07:00

Today was havoc... there's no other words for it. You know when you have a day that EVERYTHING goes wrong? Well, that was me today. I'm sure I could have mentally turned this day around, but I didn't ~ so up until not too long ago I was going CRAZY!

My dog ran away, 3 dishes are broken {complete accidents}, my living room looks like a tornado went through it, so does my kitchen, and I'm exhausted..... been exhausted all day long.

But as I sit here looking at the mess I get to clean up, which will probably take me until close to midnight, I'm feeling grateful. I'm feeling grateful for my life, because as hectic as days may seem, my life is really good. Sometimes when we have days like this it's so easy to get caught up in the depressingness of it all, but if I do that... I'll just go in a downward spiral. So ~ I'm going to clean up this mess, pray for my dog, and thank God for my children and my many blessings in my life.

Just a Motivating Monday - Growing

2010-03-28T23:54:00.000-07:00

It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.

~Joyce Maynard

Being a mom has opened up a lot of things for me. At the age of 16 I starting doing books for small businesses.... and I have worked ever since. I of course got my high school diploma, took a few college classes ~ but I NEVER got my degree.

I absolutely want my children to go to college, and I absolutely expect them to never let go of their dreams. Well, how in the world can I expect that out of them, if I don't do the same?

I make it known to them that I am focusing on fulfilling my dreams, and they are watching me do this.... in turn, I KNOW they will do the same with their life. But why should they go to college and get a degree if their own mom doesn't have one? So, I'm going to college, my friends. I'm actually starting this Spring semester and am probably NUTS since I hardly have time as it is, but it's something I have always had as a goal. And I'm diving in.

I'm starting with classes that are in subjects that are of interest to me ~ psychology for now. I'll eventually go through and get everything done for my degree, but this semester is all about psychology. I'm taking 12 credits in understanding people this semester.

I want my children to be proud of me. I want my children to follow in my footsteps.

What kings of things are you doing to grow with your child, to show them that we NEVER stop reaching for the stars?

IF MCKLINKY IS NOT WORKING JUST LEAVE YOUR LINK IN THE COMMENT FIELD AND I WILL UPDATE MCKLINKY WHEN IT IS WORKING AGAIN. THANK YOU.

Spring Love

2010-03-28T09:48:00.000-07:00

I took the kids out to do their spring pictures ~ and I've completely fallen in love with this one. It shows their love. And their love is beautiful. Their love is perfect. Their love is unconditional.

I love them.

You can see more pictures from the shoot on my {PHOTO BLOG}

There is a Friend

2010-03-26T21:22:00.000-07:00

There is a friend!

And my heart feels THAT much better.

Not all kids at Jayden's school are ~~devils~~ mean.

And I wish I had a camera to see the looks on their faces today as they saw each other at Costco.

A girl.

Jayden and this girl stood in front of each other, arms to their sides, HUGE grins on their faces...

Jayden says, "Hi, Anya, how's your day?"

She replies... "It's good Jayden how is your's?"

and more awkward, silly, cute grins. Then she says....

"I'll see you at school, Buddy."

She called him Buddy.

Kids are SO Mean!

2010-03-24T21:19:00.000-07:00

I'm still a bit upset about {THIS POST}, because Jayden's still upset. He's such a cute, sweet, hard to not love boy. I don't get how he doesn't have friends. I don't get how kids are so mean to him.

To be honest I would honestly like to pull him out of school and keep here where I can protect his feelings. He has such an amazing teacher though, and his school is REALLY helping him with his reading and doing things with him I probably would be no good at.

Nothing's worse than going out to the playground and not having friends to play with, or to go through elementary school not having a friend. And what's even worse is when you are the parent that knows your son has no friends. They throw his shoes in puddles, call him a loser, when he's so much more than they are. Both Gino and I have told him... Stand up for yourself, Jayden. You have OUR permission to do whatever you need to do to protect yourself from little asshole children {okay, we didn't say asshole children to him.... but that's what they are!} And you know what he says.... It's not right. It's not right to be mean to other children.

Jayden, I'm going to tell you right now that I know you were put on this earth for things that are so wonderful, because you are so wonderful.

Pour Your Heart Out - #1

2010-03-23T21:50:00.000-07:00

Tonight I was over at my Bloggity friend {Chelle's blog} and she was writing a blog for Shell's awesome {and you can click on the picture to head to Shell's blog}..........

probably not the best thing for me to join, because I love to hold things in... and then they need to come out ~ so here I go......

I try to keep the tone upbeat here at Garibay Soup... I really, really try. I think mainly because even when I'm not feeling upbeat I know my blog is upbeat. It's sortof MY LITTLE HAPPY PLACE.

But I'm not upbeat right now. I have so much family drama that I feel absolutely sickened by it. I have a LOT of family alive and I talk to 4 people out of my family. My mom, her dad (My Grandpa), my aunt who I love to death, and 1 of my sisters from my father... and that's just because I told her I'd buy her a car if she'd help me out. Had I not bribed her to be my on call babysitter, she'd be in her teen world and I wouldn't be hearing from her.

This is sad. My entire family is so EFFED up that I feel a little gloomy over it.

I have a sister {from my mom} that I have ALWAYS been VERY close to... and where is she? Oh, she is immature, jealous of me and thrives on drama ~ she can argue otherwise, and frankly I don't give a crap, but when it comes down to it... she lives a MISERABLE, NEGATIVE life and finds any reason to push people away... well, sweetheart you pushed away the 1 person in this world that loves you to death, and I don't think I can ever let you close to my heart again. Hopefully she grows up and realizes who and what is important in life.

My Grandma is the most dysfunctional, controlling, manipulative creature on this planet. I just want to say that I am EXTREMELY thankful to not have her playing puppet master in my life anymore - lady... if you read this blog I'm just gonna come out and say LEARN HOW TO BE A MOTHER TO YOUR CHILDREN AND STOP JUDGING THEM SO HARSHLY... IT'S QUITE SICKENING. I have learned a great deal on how not to be with my children from you.

The funny thing is she wonders why her children have no respect for her {except for the one leaching off of her} but it's because she sent them all away {me included} as children. My own mother got sent away at the age of 14 because she wasn't the "ideal" child... well, my mom ended up 14 and pregnant... thank God cuz now I'm here LOL. But then when her children were facing hard times in life and needed a mother the most... she vanished, putting her nose up in the air acting like she was too good for them, when in my opinion she was worse than them.

My dad's entire family... please don't even get me started on that joke of a circus, because that's exactly what it is.

The rest... they just have major issues and it's extremely sad that they turned into what they turned into, but in the end it's good they are not in my life, because I am doing positive, exciting things with my life.

Okay... now to turn this around a bit.

I have learned from what my family has become to what my family is going to be like. It's not going to be perfect, because what family is? But there is going to be a heck of a lot of values taught, unconditional love given, and definitely a family feel to it. And for this reason alone I want a large family. I want to have family holidays together, family reunions, and get togethers throughout the year...... I want my family to be close.

So, if that isn't pouring your heart out, I don't know what is. And I feel a lot better writing this... even if I lose a few blog followers. This is me people... I'm not perfect, and neither is my life.

You are so beautiful, Sweet Girl

2010-03-23T15:36:00.000-07:00

Oh sweet girl you have no clue how much this little face right here kills me. This little face makes me smile when I am mad, and probably gets you out of a lot of trouble that you should be in. But how could anyone not smile and kiss the heck out of this cute little face?

You are so beautiful, Sweet Girl.

There are more pictures to be seen over on my {photo blog}

Just a Motivating Monday - Facing Fear

2010-03-21T22:54:00.000-07:00

I could elaborate on the quote below, but I think that it really says it all. I personally know that I've had to step outside of my comfort zone these past few months and I'm growing and gaining in ways I never knew were possible. I hope this quote will inspire you in a way that has for me.

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.

-- Eleanor Roosevelt

Crazy Goodness

2010-03-19T22:34:00.000-07:00

This week has been ONE CRAZY WHIRLWIND of a week. But all in a good way. The first thing is my business just took a MAJOR jump this week, and I have just gotta give it to my very, very, very good friends Jen & David for all of their hard work and sticking with something that they saw the value in. *I love you guys!* I can't even begin to describe how truly happy I am for you and your future.

Things are really hopping and starting to get busy with me and I just feel so overwhelmingly blessed to be a part of something so wonderful that is really changing our lives. I look at my kids and smile knowing that everything we're doing right now is going to impact their lives in such a good way ~ and not only their life, but for generations to come. I love that.

Life with 2 toddlers is actually been getting easier and easier. When Alana came with us she had little issues, like not wanting to take a bath, constipation, among other things. Today for the first time ever I was walking up the stairs to give Ella a bath and Alana got all excited saying she wanted to take a bath too. HUGE IMPROVEMENT!

I know that her staying here with us is the best thing ever for her. She has stability, she has structure, she has a family that is a family. She's been tossed around A LOT in her 2 short years of life, and that breaks my heart. I can't fathom how my kids would feel being tossed here, tossed there. They NEED stability. They NEED constant love and attention.

The good thing is both of her parents are secure with her staying with us. My brother and Alana's mom both know that when she's here she's being very well taken care of. And she's happy. Throughout the day she'll just come up and hug me and have this huge smile on her face, and it warms my heart.

I'm just so happy with the decision that my brother and Alana's mother made in securing their daughter with me ~ the best place she could be right now.

Mr. Jayden Garibay

2010-03-17T14:36:00.000-07:00

I absolutely enjoy this little man of mine :) Conversations with him always make me giggle and smile. So I want to start video recording him talking more. So I introduce to you ~ my little Jayden Garibay.

3/17/10 Jayden from Amanda Garibay on Vimeo.

Dear Jayden

2010-03-16T22:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Jayden,

I just want you to know how special you are to me. Your little personality really shines through, and your soul is perfect. So perfect that sometimes I wonder why God put you on this earth. What exactly is your purpose? I think it's to do great things.

People who have had the absolute pleasure of knowing you know exactly what I'm talking about. Your scouts leader always tells me how special you are, how sweet you are ~ and it just warms my heart, because I know. I don't know what it is about you that is different from all the other kids, from all the other boys, but it's definitely special.

We had our parent teacher conference and your teacher absolutely loves you as well, but she is a bit concerned. It's something I know, and for some reason it's something I'm scared to get diagnosed, but we are going to start the process of finding out if you are indeed Autistic. I don't care, because at the end of the day you're just my Jayden. You are my beautiful little soul that was put on this earth to do great things.

I absolutely know without a doubt that you have Sensory Processing Disorder, and the reasons why your teacher wants to get you tested for Autism is because sometimes you go somewhere ~ nowhere far, but it's almost like a little imaginary world that you can easily be snapped out of when talked to. So, you may just have a great imagination ~ but I just want you to know that NO MATTER WHAT you are perfect. I couldn't have had a more perfect little soul bless my life than you. I have never in my entire life met a boy that is as sweet, caring, honest, faithful, and has integrity like you. Never... and I'm not just saying that because you are my son, because I'm not the only one that sees this.

I love you, Jayden ~ I love you forever and always

Love, Mom

WFMW ~ Double Toddler Trouble

2010-03-16T22:00:00.000-07:00

If you don't know about Kandi @ Twin-spirations you need to! She is my mentor in life, not only in my business, but literally in my life. I have received by far the BEST parenting advice EVER from her. Luckily she's not an online friend for me.... she's a smack dab in real life sister to me. Not biologically, but she might as well be my big sister. Because I've never had one {big sister that is}, and she's been in my life since I was weeeeee little.

SOOOO I wanted to share a bit of advice she gave me with having 2 toddlers {I currently have my niece who is the exact age of my daughter 2.5!}

TIMEOUTS are a very negative thing. However, if your toddler is doing something that needs to be addressed you simply grab their hand and let them know that they need to take a break. Mommy's can even take a break when they get out of control.... that way they know that sometimes, we all just need to take a break.

So ~ for the break they get 1 minute/their age and they can bring a book, or a stuffed animal and they can take that time to reflect on what they did. It's been working GREAT for me!

Now here's the kicker.... if you have twins that are toddlers, or deal with 2 children, and one does something to the other you can put them both on a break. When the break is over having each come to you and tell you why they had to go on a break and the one who you "thought" didn't do anything and was just the victim tells on themselves! It's genius!

So, this is what's working for me right now... being a "mom" of two toddlers is quite new for me since I'm used to only 1. ~

So please if you have any other tips for me... feel free to leave them in the comments ;)

If you want to learn about other things that work for other's head over to {Kristen's Blog} ~ lots of good stuff!!

BLAH!

2010-03-16T21:25:00.000-07:00

When you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all. So for the first time, brace yourself.... I'm going to just shut my mouth. The end.

Finding Patience as a Mom

2010-03-16T20:47:00.000-07:00

I struggle with patience. It's a fault of mine, and it's something I wish wasn't. Patience is the single most important thing for a parent to have, most importantly, a mom to have. Whenever I say my prayers I always ask for more patience, and I've really been trying to reflect and pinpoint how I can change myself in order to have more of this virtuous thing.

Being a part of this blog community can really just put things in perspective. When I'm lacking patience I think of mother's whose babies are no longer with them. When I'm lacking patience I think about the moms who seem to have it all figured out and are Martha Stewart of parenting. But you know what? It's okay. We're not perfect, and if we were perfect we wouldn't be here.

I think my patience has really been tried these past couple of weeks as I've had a new little girl in my life. Having 2 toddlers definitely has its challenges. Having 2 toddlers REALLY tests your patience. And sometimes I wonder if God does certain things, to answer your prayers. Recently I heard somewhere to be careful of what you wish for, or pray for. You might be asking God for more strength, so he gives you more trials to strengthen you. I was asking for more patience, so God gave me another toddler to really try my nerves LOL. But I'm thankful for it, because I'm learning and I'm growing.

Lately one thing that REALLY, and I mean REEEEEAAAALLLLY tests this mama's patience is when Miss Ella Bella locks herself in rooms.... it's an every day thing and something that SCARES THE CRAP out of me. What if she's locked in a room and there's a fire? Or what if she shoves something in her mouth and chokes? When she locks herself in the bathroom she's getting into my Bare Minerals makeup, which kills me and then finally will come out once her makeup is done. I have video of this and I have a video of the girls at the park ~ they're so dang cute when they get along haha.

Untitled from Amanda Garibay on Vimeo.

Untitled from Amanda Garibay on Vimeo.
.

Thought I'd add before the mom blog police attack me ~ yes I do know there is cleaner on the toilet and that my daughter was locked in the bathroom with access to it.... I was cleaning my bathroom and literally walked out for a couple of seconds to throw something over by my washing machine when Miss Thang swooped in, slammed the door and locked me out. I did however know she wasn't messing with the cleaner as her obsession is with makeup.

AND! Wanted to add that the videos were totally taken from my DROID phone... the video camera is THAT good!

Just a Motivating Monday - Action

2010-03-15T14:27:00.000-07:00

Not only am I trying to improve my life in the terms of success, but I'm trying to improve my life as a mother and a wife. I'm trying to be the best that I can be for my family. There's something I've realized that is different about me. The old me would read up on and try to learn through reading so much that I forgot to put it all into action. Heck, I had the best books and systems on keeping your home clean, yet I never really put that into action.

When I started my company I spent a lot of time online watching videos that would help me succeed, but I never saw results until I put what I was learning into action.

ACTION is the key to seeing results! You can read and study up on methods all you want, but until you put your ideas into action you haven't really begun.

Short and sweet this week.

Rambling Mess of Sense

2010-03-10T18:23:00.000-08:00

I truly believe that you make your life what it is. I realized this concept back in 2006 when I picked up the book The Secret. I might drive people in my life crazy with my positivity and always looking at the bright side of things....even in the darkest moments, but I believe that this attitude is what makes my life so wonderful.

Don't get me wrong, life is far from perfect for me. But thankfully I have learned through reading amazing books from people like Jim Rohn that we set our sail. The same winds blow on us all.... honestly, the rich experience the same things as the poor. The happy experience the same things as the unhappy. The thing is, when that wind hits you, YOU have to choose how you react to it and how you embrace it into your life.

I know people that are from my past read my blog {hello blog tracker - kinda creepy that I have stalkers from the past}, and I'm sure they're going to read this and frankly I don't care. I have experienced extreme disappointment from MANY people in my life. And due to that I hold a nice wall perfectly around my heart. I don't let many people close to me, because amazingly when I do they can't appreciate my honesty, and I'm only honest because I love them. I can't stand their negativity and I have had to learn how to close my ear to it, because I love my life and I know if I focus on the bad things in life... more bad will come. I can't stand their excuses.... every excuse you give to prevent you from growing as a person and stepping outside of your comfortable little world is only hurting you.

Some of the closest people in my life are no longer in my life, and guess what.... it's the negative people, the miserable people, the people who can't stand the positive outlook I see on things. People, come on! Complain about being broke over and over and over again without doing a damn thing to do something about it gets really old. These past few days I've actually reflected on some of my relationships with people who are SUPPOSED to be unconditionally there. I've thought hard about what good things they've brought to my life and you know what, I can't think of 1 thing. I think about my phone conversations with these people and holy negative!

So, yes, this was one rambling mess, but I'm actually extremely happy with the people that are in my life, the people who are not in my life and what I am doing with my life.

And for you amazing special people that are so close to me and have an amazing, positive imprint on my life I love you, and YOU KNOW WHO ARE! Yes, Celeste, you're included! You have become one of my very best friends and I couldn't imagine my life without you ~ we HAVE to always be next door neighbors.... ALWAYS

The 3 Princesses

2010-03-08T22:35:00.000-08:00

When you add 1 more toddler to the mix things get a bit busy. So busy that I can't believe that it's not only been 1 week since I've come on my sanctuary, but I also completely forgot about this week's Just a Motivating Monday.

My sweet little Alana is really fitting in here. A year ago we had her for a while under the same circumstances that we have her now. My heart completely breaks for her, but all we can do is surround her with love and provide her with stability, a schedule and lots of laughter and fun.

With Alana living with us once again I have been keeping the girls extremely busy, which is important for them. We've been spending a lot of time with our BFF's that live next door ~ Miss Celeste & Ruthie. Watching the three girls play together is probably the cutest thing in the entire world.

So, we're all doing well, just SO BUSY!

Just a Motivating Monday - Confidence

2010-02-28T21:48:00.000-08:00

If you're a reader of my blog you are probably figuring out that I am on this MAJOR personal development kick. I am constantly reading and trying to do things that will help me to be the person I want to be and the person I feel is what my children deserve to have as a mother.

I have experienced lack of confidence in a lot of things that I set out to do, but you would NEVER know it, because I have taken the above quote and applied it to my life. If I don't have the confidence I sure as heck am going to act like I do... and magically I get the confidence! It really, truly works!

I hope this motivates you to act as if you have the confidence throughout your life, because in acting you will be gaining.

My Weekend... Man am I BLESSED!

2010-02-25T19:49:00.000-08:00

There are almost no words for this weekend. All I can say is...

ABSOLUTELY AMAZING!

I truly now know exactly what it is that I have my hands on. I truly now know that I am one lucky person to have this amazing business placed into my lap, because the things that I saw, heard, learned about this weekend are MIND BLOWING.

Through the entire weekend I had my kids' pictures up on my cell phone looking at them constantly, knowing that I am doing this for them, and it is bettering not only their life, but their children's life, their children's children life and MANY, MANY, MANY generations to come. The video phone absolutely helped out this weekend too, because being able to pick up the phone call and see my kids face to face every night before they went to bed was down right the most amazing thing ever. Telling my son to have a good day at school while seeing his face and him seeing mine.... man, POWERFUL!

This weekend I got to see people get promoted to a position where 1 year ago they were just normal, struggling people. Living pay check to pay check, because they were doing nothing but working to make somebody else rich {that's what a job is, right?} 1 year ago they changed their life, saw an amazing opportunity to not only have wealth, but to have time right by it. A lot of people in this world have wealth, but they don't have time. A lot of people have time, but no wealth. They saw this opportunity 1 year ago, ran with it... ran with it and accomplished one of the most AMAZING goals, one year later and they have complete financial freedom... not to mention time to go right along with that. I am in the MOST BLESSED company EVER!

By the way, Donald Trump really is amazing to see in person. He was awesome! And I feel even more blessed knowing that his name is on my company. He endorses my company. Not because he has to, not because he was paid to, but because he believes in this company THAT much that we WANTS his name on it. Wow, not a lot of people can say that!

So, all in all, this weekend was mind blowing!!

First Time Leaving Ella

2010-02-17T22:59:00.000-08:00

Today I've been in a bit of a haze. I'm leaving my family tomorrow. Packing up my car and leaving them for 4 nights.... THAT'S 4 FLIPPING NIGHTS. I've never left Ella, so this is a HUGE step for me, but it's for great reasons.

I am partnered with a company that is endorsed by Donald Trump and this weekend I'm going to San Jose to an international training event! I AM BEYOND EXCITED! But at the same time I'm so nervous.... I'm nervous about Ella and her heart condition. I know that Gino knows how to recognize and will probably be listening to her heart all throughout the day, but I'm her mama and I'm scared to not be there. We spend literally 24/7 together. She's my little mini me {not by looks of course} and I hope that she'll be okay. Who am I kidding, I hope I will be okay.

I've been sitting here tonight trying to type out a sheet for my husband on all of the important little detail on Ella, her medication, her doctor's and what to say if she goes into SVT. Trying to think of the million little things that he needs to know that he's never HAD to know. Sure, he's right there through it all, but the little details are done by ME. I'm a control freak and I make sure that I have control of everything, I'm starting to wonder if that's very smart.

I know that Gino, Jayden & Ella are going to have a great time. The kids are just as close to Gino as they are to me, so I'm not worried about them not feeling loved and feeling comfortable. They will most definitely be with the person who loves them just as much as I do. So I feel comfortable with leaving them in Gino's hands.

Besides leaving my little family and my Ella for the first time ever I am down right EXCITED! I know that this event that I am going to is exactly what I need to continue to grow my business. I know that I will be being trained by the best of the best. People who have made MILLIONS doing exactly what I'm doing right now. I'm very, very EXCITED!

Please keep us in your prayers, me for safe travels and my family for coping without me. Ella for not going into SVT while I'm gone (scares the crap out of me!) Thank you!

Valentine's Day ~ a little peak

2010-02-16T19:52:00.000-08:00

Our Valentine's Day was THE BEST EVER! I'm gonna do a little rundown here for ya ~

My husband proposed to me 9 years ago - the ring is pretty, but the diamonds are EXTREMELY small and it's a two toned ring and for some reason my finger breaks out ~ so, I don't wear a wedding ring. I HATE it, because I always feel like when I go out in public people look at me like just another single mom. {not that there's anything wrong with that... I'm just NOT a single mom}

My husband rocks... he bought me THIS for Valentine's Day

Ever since the 3 stoned Past, Present, Future rings came out - I've wanted one! And I FINALLY HAVE ONE!!!!!!! On the inside it even has a P {diamond} P {diamond} F ~ I AM IN LOVE!!!! I can't stop staring at my finger. Gino, you are my heart and soul. I just want you to know that. I wouldn't have US any other way ~ so just always know that.

We woke up Valentine's Day and packed into the car and headed to Sacramento. Where we saw my mom and my most favorite, lovable little niece Alana {P.S. SHE'S COMING TO STAY WITH US AGAIN!!!}

And then we headed to Arco Arena {where my Sacramento Kings play} to see Disney on Ice. We had SO much fun! Yes, I cried, because I always cry at these things because I am literally THAT excited! Here's a couple pictures from our day there ~

I'm working on a little movie that has some video and pics of the kids and I'll upload that as soon as I'm done... cuz there's MANY more pics :)

We ended our Valentine's Day night with a little mask party with Grandma and Grandpa

OH and a little tattoo competition between Grandpa & Ella haha

Just a Motivating Monday - A Quote for YOU

2010-02-15T17:20:00.000-08:00

"Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better"” Jim Rohn

Whatever any of us are going through in life ~ this quote is awesome. I love it.

Praying for Caydence

2010-02-11T09:45:00.000-08:00

A lot of people in my life don't "GET" my online world. They probably don't consider my friends "friends" and probably just down right think I'm crazy. But I'm not. As wonderful as your friends in real life might be, they don't always understand you, your situation, what you're going through or know how to begin to support you in certain situations. And that's okay. I love my in real life friends so much, but have met amazing woman online that sometimes understand what I'm going through a little bit more.

When I lost Mya, I had amazing, continuous support {and still do} when people in real life were there for the moment, but since they have never experienced such a heart wrenching thing eventually forgot about it ~ or just didn't know what to say anymore. The support of certain friends online who went through this with me are STILL there, STILL talking with me about it.

None of my friends in real life understand what I go through with Ella and her heart condition, but I have a wonderful group of girls online that do, and are quick to be there just to talk or give advice for what they went through when their child's heart was racing up to 250+BPM, and that's okay ~ but maybe now you'll "GET" my online world.

Every once in a while you get to meet one of these special friends that you've been through so much with, and I feel extremely blessed to have gotten to know my dear friend Carlee. Carlee was pregnant with me when I was pregnant with Mya. While my pregnancy ended in death, her's ended EXTREMELY early with a very tiny baby with a whole lot of health issues. Caydence was born at 27 weeks. The fact that she's 3 years old and still here is a BLESSING, and if you ever get to know Caydence you'll quickly agree.

Caydence has not had an easy life. She has been in and out of the hospital more times than I could ever imagine, has had open heart surgery at such a young age and has constantly been on oxygen. I don't know all the details on what's wrong, but I do know that my little Caydence is in a hospital in Texas awaiting her lungs to show up so they can do a lung transplant.

I just got a call from Carlee as they are in the hospital waiting and they told Carlee on top of everything that Caydence has and is going through, they believe she has Wolff Parkinson White syndrome. That's exactly what Ella has. My heart feels heavy today, because I hate that on top of everything else, they're going to have to worry about Caydence and SVT.

I'm going to share some pictures of Caydence with you and ask that you please keep Miss Caydence in your prayers ~ she's such a vibrant little girl, and the surgery that she's about to undergo scares that living crap out of me. So please pray that these new lungs give Caydence a long, long, long life. Please pray for strength for Carlee and the entire family as they will be split up these next few months

I feel extremely blessed to have had the opportunity to get to know Carlee & Caydence, relationships that I have formed like this make me extremely grateful for the online community that is a huge part of my life.

A little, ity, bity Caydence

Brothers going to see their baby sister

After open heart surgery

She's such a silly girl

The Garibays Went all the way to Wyoming to see Caydence!!

Here's Caydence at the hospital in Texas awaiting her lung transplant

Carlee & Caydence we love you and are here praying hard here!! I feel extremely blessed to have been a part of your lives and if it wasn't for Mya, I wouldn't even know you..... crazy isn't it? The Garibays love the Brannamans!! Go Caydence Go ~ you have overcome so much and we know this will just be another thing to add to that list.

SVT during CHD Week

2010-02-10T15:27:00.000-08:00

With all this heart talk can you believe that since October 2007 we have lived like we do not have a cardiac baby. They put Ella on medication that regulated things, she never went into SVT. It was like the miracle drug until she got ahold of it. In July 2009 Miss Ella got ahold of her medication and drank it..... almost died. It was the scariest moment of my life! You can read all about that {HERE}. After her overdose we ended up taking her off of all medications to see how she would do.

Ella has had this horrible cold since Friday of last week. She had high fevers, horrible cough, and all around it has just down right SUCKED. Yesterday this cold took a different turn for us, and right now I'm just extremely thankful that I became aware in time of what was going on.

She came up and hugged me, I could feel her heart pounding out of her chest. I asked Gino where the stethoscope was and then listened. I told him to get up and come listen, and of course he thought I was overreacting, but her heart was FAST. He wanted her taken in immediately, so I went upstairs, got dressed, got Ella some clothes and called the doctor. They had me come down and Ella was still in good spirits and acting like nothing was wrong. This is why I believe we recognized this right away, because she finally started getting pale around the time that we got there.

The doctor checked her heart rate and with the first machine they couldn't pick anything up, and that's because that machine only monitors up to 200 beats per minute. Well, there's a huge sign she's in SVT. So they get another device and were picking it up at around 250 BPM. So, they were already prepared with 2 bags of ice and that's when they suffocated her with them.

Oh, my poor, poor baby girl. The last time they did this she was only a couple of months old, this time she's 2 1/2! She was screaming and saying COLD! My heart was breaking, but thankfully her heart was shocked back into normalcy.

In the event that the ice didn't work, she would have had to be admitted, and IV stuck into her (which is EXTREMELY difficult to do when in SVT) and had adenosine pushed into her veins to try to kick her heart into normalcy. In the event that doesn't work they've had to get the crash cart and shock her back into normalcy that way. The last time they did that she was 7 weeks old and her organs were shutting down, they had no choice.

I'm relieved that Ella is back on her medication, so hopefully we don't have to go through this again. This time the medication is being kept up VERY HIGH. Think above the refrigerator high... there will be no more overdoses on flecainide!

So, during CHD week I was reminded that I do indeed have a cardiac baby. And while most days she seems like the healthiest, most vibrant little toddler out there, she's not. But this condition makes her that much more special, and has helped me to grow even more as a mother.

Both pictures were taken after she was converted out of SVT ~ we are so blessed.

CHD Week ~ Guest Blogger ~ Cora's Story

2010-02-09T00:01:00.000-08:00

This week {2/7/10-2/14/10} Congenital Heart Disease (or defect) week. You hear about this stuff but NEVER think it will happen to your child. I unfortunately was almost too late with my little Ella on discovering that she had a heart defect, a heart defect that almost took her from me... but it didn't.

Almost 2 months ago I met Kristine on Twitter. The circumstances of why I started following her were not good, but I can't begin to explain how happy I did get the chance to follow her. Kristine has become a very special person in my life, and if it wasn't for Cora, she wouldn't be in it.

Kristine had to learn the extremely hard way all about CHD {Congenital Heart Disease}. She didn't get as lucky as I did with my Ella, because her Cora died at 5 days old.

Kristine and Cora are saving lives and trying to get heard on ways that we can prevent situations like what they had to go through happen. They are saving lives one pulse oximetry test at a time.

I am so blessed and pleased to have Kristine guest posting here today at Garibay Soup ~ Enjoy, and please help her and Cora out by saving lives!!

My defected baby. Looks can be deceiving.

I know, I know. She looks perfect.

She was perfect. No prenatal problems. Given a clean bill of health when we left the hospital.

But, then she died. Out of nowhere. In my arms.
While breastfeeding.

Turns out my daughter, Cora, was born with a congenital heart disease. I’d never heard of it.

Turns out, congenital heart diseases, or defects, are the number one birth defect. That 1 in 100 babies are born with a defect.

But, their hearts aren’t tested. A simple pulse oximetry test to measure the baby’s oxygen level can screen for
CHDs and save lives.

This week is Congenital Heart Disease Awareness Week. Spend a few moments researching and reading about it. I sure wish I had.

Kristine Brite McCormick writes about Cora (almost) daily on her blog {http://www.corasstory.org} If not on her blog, she can be found on Twitter, {@kristinebrite} or Cora’s Facebook Fan page, {http://www.facebook.com/pages/Coras-Story/224020688142?ref=nf} telling Cora’s Story.

Follow Kristine for more information about congenital heart disease or to learn more about the acts of compassion and kindness Cora has inspired.

Just a Motivating Monday - Themed Edition ~ Marriage

2010-02-07T21:12:00.000-08:00

THEMED EDITION ~ MARRIAGE

I wanted to do a themed edition of Just a Motivating Monday on Marriage, because Valentine's Day is in 1 week! I think the best thing that we can motivate each other on is on marriage....

I'm going to talk for a moment on my marriage. We've been together now for 9 1/2 years, married for 5 1/2 years and happy for ALMOST 3 years. During these past 9 1/2 years we have truly been tested, we have truly prevailed and we can truly say we have defied all odds by remaining together and ending up happy at that.

I know that marriage is one of the hardest things in the entire world. Parenting is very trying and some might think it is one of the hardest things in the entire world to do, but MOST people don't just walk away when times get tough. There are the few people out there that do do this {sad that they are parents} but most parents stick with it and fight with everything in them to ensure that their children have UNCONDITIONAL love. Marriage is not like this in most cases. It gets hard, promises are broken, you fall out of love and the towel gets thrown in... the marriage in most cases ends up being over.

We've been at the lowest points in our marriage. Promises, vows were broken, being in love was non-existent, and divorce should have been immediately in the works. But something amazing happened, we fought. We chose to fight hard with everything we had, and the most amazing thing happened ~ we fell in love with each other, all over again. THAT was amazing. Now we know, times will not always be easy, but if we stick with it and fight together to grow back together, there's a sweet reward.

"A successful marriage is falling in love over and over, always with the same person."

I hope in some way this post will touch you and remind you that marriage is meant to be forever. If times get hard, fight. Fight til you literally have NO FIGHT left in you. Falling in love over and over again with your spouse is amazing, and so worth the hard times to get there.

Beautiful Blogger Award

2010-02-06T19:09:00.000-08:00

I was given a Beautiful Blogger Award from {This Mama Has a Latte Love} you can also find her on twitter as @lattelovemommy THANK YOU!!!!

Here are the rules:

1. Thank the person who nominated you for this award and insert a link to their blog.

2. Pass on the award to about 15 other bloggers who you recently discovered and think are great!

3. Contact the other bloggers and let them know they have been chosen for this award.

4. Say 7 things about yourself.

~7 THINGS ABOUT ME YOU MAY OR MAY NOT KNOW~

1) I have an obsession with picture frames. I buy them all the time and they sit unfilled in my room. If I would just fill them up and hang them they would be gorgeous. I buy REALLY cute frames!

2) I do not have a shoe fetish like most females ~ I like shoes, but would rather spend money on picture frames LOL ~ no, seriously though ~ I'd rather buy stuff for my house than shoes... I know, I'm weird.

3) I'm currently doing my first diet ever ~ I've never watched what I ate, and apparently my metabolism has changed.... I'm not extremely happy about this little fact!

4) I once googled Vampires hoping I could find real Vampires to change my husband into one. Hmmm... wonder if I should be telling people this.

5) I take at least 2 baths a day... could take more if Ella wouldn't ruin it for me ~ I'm seriously obsessed with baths.

6) I am going back to school and will be getting my CPA degree, the odds of me using the a degree are pretty slim, since I own my own company and plan to become a millionaire off of it, I just want that degree!

7) I have 2 babies in heaven that I think immensely about on a daily basis. I don't blog as much about them as I'd like, maybe I should ~ Pregnancy loss is something that is extremely excruciating and I really wouldn't wish it on anybody.

And now I pass this Beautiful Blogger Award to:

@BrainofaMommy
@Leste20
@Anothermomof2
@ThisMommyWorks
@ToBeThode
@Twinspirationz
@Madhattermom
@CarissaRogers
@KariewithaK
@KandJPlus5
@MyTwoSeason
@MandiMorgan
@Winey_Mommy
@GosFam
@Sahans

Life, Family & What's Important

2010-02-05T21:10:00.000-08:00

My life has changed A LOT these past couple of months. Some for the good, some for the bad, but I'm embracing them all.

The good ~ I no longer have a JOB (Just Over Broke) and have gone into business for myself. I'm on a major life organizing kick, and strangely I feel like I'm cleaning and organizing my soul. I've made my unfinished business list and have crossed quite a few items off.... I can't wait until all the items are crossed off.

The bad ~ I lost another baby. There's no words for this. I don't get it. By now I'd be close to feeling flutters in my stomach, instead I'm trying to figure out how to lose my stomach.

I've been thinking about a lot of stuff lately. Maybe it has to do with all of the changes going on here, but my thoughts mostly have been about family.

I really don't have a family. I have siblings that come and go. I've never had a healthy relationship with any of them, because not only did I have a dysfunctional childhood... I think they had a worse childhood. I've noticed with my family that they come in and out in and out in and out and have DRAMA. But it's okay. I'm coming to the realization that none of them matter. It doesn't matter if I have a sister that's my best friend, because I have a husband that's my best friend. It doesn't matter if one day they like me the next they are jealous of me, because honestly... they really don't matter. Sounds harsh right? Trust me, with my family it's just the way it has to be.

I'm okay with my dysfunctional family and whether they're present or absent in my life. I have the most STABLE (word I never knew growing up) family under my own roof. We are creating a life for our children that is secure. At the end of the day our little family here under this very roof is what matters. There's no drama, there's no being cautious of what you say. It's just pure, unconditional love, and I can't even begin to explain how happy I am that I Finally have a family. A true, unconditional, loving family.

I need to let the hurt go. The hurt of my father, the hurt of my grandmother, the hurt of my sister, the hurt of my brother ~ the hurt of my entire dad's side of the family. I NEED TO LET IT GO. I need to realize I don't need them, they've done nothing but give me conditional love, and that's no family.

So, from here on out no more wishing, wondering, just appreciating, because I LOVE MY FAMILY ~ the Family we are creating.

I'm gonna ramble here

2010-02-04T20:11:00.000-08:00

I'm here to ramble. To get how I feel out, so I don't drive people crazy with it later ~ you're more than welcome to stick around and hear me out :)

I think it's kind of been hitting me lately that I'm not pregnant. Especially when I hear about other people expecting. It almost stabs me in the heart a bit, because I SHOULD BE THERE! I should be struggling with morning sickness, getting close to little flutters in my stomach. Dang it! I'm sad.

I feel so torn, because while I'd love to jump right back into the TTC action, I know that there's a couple of things that need to be taken care of first.

I need to get my hormones checked. I really feel like my progesterone issues that I had with the Mirena might have had a little something to do with losing this baby. SO I have to go in and get my hormones all checked and make sure that I'm okay in that department.

Next... I REALLY want to lose some weight before getting pregnant again. I don't want to go into this pregnancy unhealthy, so if I could drop even 20 lbs before getting pregnant I'd be THRILLED.... if I lost a bit more I wouldn't be too sad about that.

I want to get finished with my Unfinished Business list.

Then I can make a baby ~ when it does happen though I think we'll keep it to ourselves for a while ~ because if we have a repeat I dread telling people.

Just a Motivating Monday ~ Unfinished Business

2010-01-31T21:10:00.000-08:00

MARK YOUR CALENDARS!! NEXT WEEK IS A THEMED JUST A MOTIVATING MONDAY

~MARRIAGE~

This week I read in my motivating book I'm currently reading called The Power of Focus that we should make a list of our unfinished business. Then next to each item write how it will better our lives if we complete that item.

I decided to immediately write that list. I wrote things I've been procrastinating on, big things, little things, anything that's been on my mind. So I have this list, and I have just dove into tackling it. I started with something small like cleaning off the top of the fridge, mailed off some much overdue items that needed to be mailed off. Today I tackled a couple of larger items, and I FEEL AMAZING AWESOME!

I'm challenging you this week to do this. Just make your list and put next to each item how it will positively effect your life if you complete this item.... and hang that list up where you can constantly see it. You want those items smack dab in YOUR FACE! Then start small, and work yourself up to the big items.... get your brain feeling clear of having that nagging to do in your head. Let's get our unfinished business out of our life!

WFMW ~ A Life Tip

2010-01-27T16:45:00.000-08:00

Kristen over at {We are THAT Family} has one of my favorite blogs.... I love Wednesday nights, because I can get all cozy and go through reading what works for other's.

I'm fashionably late today, but it's still Wednesday!!! Today I'm talking about something completely off topic... most people are sharing recipes, parenting tips, home decor tips... today I'm spicing it up and I'm going to share with you a life tip.

The most expensive thing you can own is a closed mind.

Simple sentence. Most people will read it and not think twice about it, but if you do stop, and you do really think about that ~ it's so true. It might be some good words to live by, because I definitely am. Had I had a closed mind I never would have learned about the company that is putting us on the path to financial freedom.... while staying home with my kids. So, I've decided that it's my mission for everyone to understand the importance of that quote.

And this Wednesday was simple, sweet and hopefully very impacting.

P.S.... if you are curious what it is that I was open minded about and is changing my life then email me at amandagaribay {at} yahoo {dot} com

First Monday Mingle.... on Tuesday!!

2010-01-26T22:59:00.000-08:00

Okay everyone.... be easy on me! It's my first EVER VLOG! I hope to do many more of these and get more comfortable!

Monday Mingle is hosted by {Eighty MPH Mom}!! Head over and meet other bloggers too!!

This week we get to answer 3 questions...

1. Would you accept an invitation to do a survivor show? What would you hate most about being on the show?
2. When/how did you learn to ride a bicycle?
3. What do you want to have accomplished (personally) in your lifetime?

Untitled from Amanda Garibay on Vimeo.

Thank you for stopping by!! I'm excited to get to know other bloggers! Every Monday I also have a carnival here at Garibay Soup called {Just a Motivating Monday}. My dreams for this carnival is for people to know that they can come on Mondays and read uplifting, inspiring things from me and other link ups.... I'd love to have some of you join in and help uplift not only my week but other's as well... we all can use a little inspiration ~ especially on a Monday!!

I'm looking forward to joining in every week on this!! Then maybe I'll start vlogging more :)

Letters for my babies

2010-01-26T21:27:00.000-08:00

Dear Jayden,

Last night your dad and I were talking about how special you are. I know that every parent in the world thinks their kids are special, have a special soul, but we're not the only ones that see it with you. Your soul is different, Jayden. Most kids your age aren't concerned with the things you're concerned about. Most kids your age aren't as loving as you are. Your boyscout pack leader tonight told me how sweet and special you are. Jayden, your soul is so pure and I find it hard to think that it could ever change.... I told your pack leader, hey we just might have the next prophet right here. I love you, Jayden. You brighten my world and make my heart sing. I want you to know that I will ALWAYS be here for you... no matter what. You will always be my baby.

Love, Mama

Dear Ella,

I just want you to know that you are a complete joy to my life. I catch myself just staring at you while smiling. I catch myself praying to Heavenly Father just to thank Him for
blessing me with you. I tell you all day long that you and your brother are my best friends. Ella, I just absolutely adore you and I want you to always know that. I want you to always know that you are so special to me and I will ALWAYS be here for you.... no matter what.

Love, Mama

Just a Motivating Monday - Our Choice

2010-01-24T21:03:00.000-08:00

If you're just joining in:
-Write a blog post about ANYTHING at all that inspires you, or something you feel will inspire others.

-Please link back to Garibay Soup

-Please snag my Just a Motivating button on your post.

-I hope that we can all go and visit each other's blogs and read what everyone has linked up ~ I hope that this carnival can bring more traffic for you :) So, spread the comment love!

Life gives us mountains to climb, and if we stop at the bottom we never know what beauty lies up at the top.

I don't fully understand why we have to be dealt tragic things to deal with. Loss, divorce, money issues, death... the list can go on and on and on. There are so many life challenging things that we have to go through, and during these times the majority of us can buckle to our knees and throw in the towel. A majority of us forget to turn our worries over to God trusting in Him that things will work out, because THEY ALWAYS DO.

This past week I went through another pregnancy loss. I think that one main thing that got me through it is focusing on positive things. The last time I went through this I didn't do this, I buckled to my knees and felt like my entire world was colliding all around me. This time, I felt my pain inside, but I knew that I had to keep going.... I had to find out what beauty is lying ahead of me. Last time it ended up being a beautiful little girl I call Ella... this time, we'll find out soon.

I was going to base my Just a Motivating Monday on pregnancy loss, but we all are struggling with something in our lives. Something that has us sad, stressed, worried, sickened... something that we can charge head on and defeat with happiness. But the thing is.... it's your choice. It's your choice how you handle the hardships in your life. It's your choice when you will be happy again. It's YOUR CHOICE. So, how are you going to choose this week?

Here's how I'm choosing:

I just lost another baby that was growing inside of me, but....

I'm going to continue being a good mom and wife
I'm going to write out my goals and accomplish them
I'm going to smile when I get out of bed, because despite tragedy.... I'm still living
I CHOOSE to make the best out of each day
I CHOOSE to not let a day go by where I allow sadness or regret to take over my day

We choose the outcomes of every situation... good or bad. Unfortunately we don't to choose the tragedies and unfortunate events that happen to us, but we get to choose to embrace it for what it is and grow from it.

The neighbors... oh how we love them! ;)

2010-01-23T20:33:00.000-08:00

Me & Celeste out on the town for my 27th B/day

The story eventually had to come here. Back in September 2007 we moved into our home. We don't own it, it's not even a house... it's a townhouse (individually owned) and we've always loved it. When we first moved in of course we'd see our neighbors... a casual wave but then there was "THE" neighbors.

Celeste... I know you're totally laughing right now as you're reading this!

Right next door was this girl that was blonde, drove a convertible mustang and we NEVER said hi to each other, looked at each other... and in all actuality we just rolled our eyes when we saw the other. We really didn't like each other at all.... yet, we didn't know each other. I never introduced myself, and she never introduced herself.

Then she got pregnant. I casually talked to her about her pregnancy, nothing more.

Then she had the baby... I made her dinner, started going over and talking with her. And dang it... we'd wasted SO MUCH TIME not liking each other, because in all actuality WE WERE JUST ALIKE!

A year ago she gave me the heartbreaking news that they were moving... not far, but moving. There was no more convenience to our friendship anymore. When that happens, and your life is busy you grow apart, and that's sad, but that's life.

Not us. I'm actually gonna have to say that we've grown even more closer since she moved. Our girls ABSOLUTELY love each other. She has become one of my closest friends...and IS my closest friend in Oregon. I absolutely adore her!

So, when she ended up having to move out of her dream house, and creepy pimp neighbor gave his notice she decided SHE'S COMING HOME!!!!!! My Oregon BFF is going to be living RIGHT NEXT DOOR! I can knock on my wall and she can come over.... our girls can play EVERY, SINGLE DAY!

Can ya tell I'm excited? I always think it's so funny that we were so stand offish with each other at first only to become so close in the long run.

Now that these two girls are living right next to each other... you can probably expect a lot of blogging both here and over at {A Life Full of Ruthie} about us catching them doing things like this.... hey, since their mamas aren't cleaning the bathrooms while visiting... somebody's gotta do it!

On a side note... yes, this means there will no longer be any blogging about crazy pimp neighbor. HE'S FINALLY GONE!

On a Funny Note....

2010-01-20T10:15:00.000-08:00

Last night we were watching this really stupid movie called White Out. I asked Gino if it was taking place in Alaska (because I truly wasn't paying attention) and he said, yeah... in the arctic, up North.

And here's our conversation... please, laugh with me!

ME: Gino, they just said that it is in Antarctica, that's south

Gino: No, it's North... I know my GEOLOGY!!!!!

I busted up laughing.... I almost told him maybe he should just go make a CASE-A-DILLA and call it a night, because the last time I checked Geology has nothing to do with the positioning of Antartica LMAO

He of course said he was joking around.... YEAH RIGHT, GINO! Moments like these make me smile and realize why I love you so much.