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Garibay Soup: Pour Your Heart Out - Norm's Passing

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out - Norm's Passing

This post is a weird one... I didn't write all I wanted to, and maybe put things in it that I didn't want to.

When I was 6 a man entered my family's life that would forever change it. The sad thing is I don't have the best of memories about him. He was actually a mean, miserable old man that was obsessed with working. He ruined holidays and made things down right miserable. He was wealthy and stingy and gave to strangers before family. Things I never truly understood, but he wasn't put on this earth for me to understand. He was my Grandma's husband.

But as I grew older I appreciated him more and the things that he had done for me. I even asked him to walk me down the aisle at my wedding, because what other constant man did I have in my life? I know that it meant a lot to him to be able to give me away.

I remember when I was young... like junior high or younger young and my uncle Bryane was graduating from high school. We had made a comment about how amazing it would be if Norm was still alive when I graduated high school. He was diagnosed with leukemia many years ago, even before my grandma and him got married. He's cheated death more times than I ever imagined anybody would, and lived a very long 86 years of life. He died a death that was miserable and definitely not something that I would ever wish on anyone. Cancer ate away his body and money ate away his soul.

In his final years I spent a lot of time with him.  He actually came to Oregon last summer (ack I believe ~ may have been the summer before....see where my mind is going?!) He stayed about a mile away from me in a retirement community and I definitely enjoyed my time with him.  I would pick him up and go out to dinner, always Olive Garden {a family favorite} and would go rub lotion on his feet.  I actually really started to know him through his time here.  The one thing that made me feel good, is he was never nice to people wherever he would go, but he was never mean to me.  He loved me, and in a weird way I loved him too.

My family is in major turmoil right now.  So many people aren't talking to each other, and Norm dying has put a few things in perspective for ME.  I no longer have the energy for the he said she said crap that goes on in this family.  A man I never thought would die, died.  I'm sure that things will be getting real ugly in our family over his death.  I'm grateful that I'm not a part of it.  

I did make a phone call to my grandma who I don't really talk to anymore.  It was nice to talk to her, and hope that we can continue a relationship that is minus crap and drama and business.  I don't have it in me anymore to fight with anybody in my family.  If they want a part of my life I'm here, if they don't that's their problem.... not mine.  I've found happiness without all of them.  I know that sounds harsh, but with my family it's not.  

So, I will not be attending Norm's funeral.  There's so much else going on behind the scenes that I really want no part of and instead will be doing something in his honor that will be remembering him and his life.  I pray that he has found peace, because there wasn't much of it in his life on this earth.  He accomplished many great things, but the man never stopped.... even on his death bed.

Norm, I want you to know that I do appreciate the things that you did for me when you were on this earth.  While I don't have the best of memories, I do have some good ones and I'll always treasure those.  I'm so happy that you are no longer suffering and dealing with the chaos.  

**My favorite known fact about Norm is that he was friends with Frank Sinatra**   




Blogger Shell said...

Family drama is the worst. I really wish people could remember what's really important and drop all the petty stuff. My family is horrible at this.

Thanks for linking up.

May 12, 2010 at 8:19 PM  
Blogger Casey said...

Wow, I am so sorry. I understand the family drama regarding stuff like that. Once my grandfather died my grandma took off and i haven't talked to her since, it has been 8 years now. her and I used to be so close and it killed me that she just left me. Oh and I came to find out after she left that she accused my sister of things that didn't happen

May 12, 2010 at 8:57 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was beautiful Amanda. He sounded like a complex man. It is great that you still have some positive thoughts about him even though he was difficult.
I love your attitude! You have such a good outlook on things. :)

May 12, 2010 at 9:04 PM  

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