Parenting.... hardest most rewarding thing in the world

I know all parents think this, but this isn't all parents' blog.... this is Jayden & Ella's mom's blog.  So in my eyes, and in my world they are the best thing that God has put on this earth.

Parenting is so challenging and patience is such a hard thing to have, but tonight as I looked at my children I knew patience is the one thing they deserve more from me than anything else.  Pregnant or not, hormonal or not, messy house or not.... these kids deserve patience.  And patience is exactly what I've been lacking during this pregnancy.

Sometimes I really don't feel like I'm the best mom.  I know there's no "best" mom out there, and compared to people who leave their children to go party, leave them at daycare all day while working just to pick them up and drop them off somewhere else, because they can't handle them and would rather pawn them off onto someone else ~ I'm a heck of a lot better than that, but I'm just feeling sucky.  Morning sickness really has a way of messing up your everything in life.  The exhaustion of pregnancy makes you feel completely helpless, and have food aversions makes everything even worse.

But I have to remember, that I am a good mom.  These kids are the entire center of my world and they are why I do everything I do in my life.  I really hope that their memories of their childhood consists of good ones, and I'm making it my ultimate goal for them to remember their mom as an excellent mom.

While life has been a bit hard through this pregnancy, this too shall pass.  My pregnancy with Ella wasn't the easiest, and I actually threw up every day of it ~ but that's not what I dwell on, and that's not strong in Jayden's memories.

~I love my children 

when they're sleeping soundly and life is calm and quiet, 

I stare at them and pray to God to give me what my children need... 

patience, love, understanding and faith 

most of all faith.~