7 Weeks Down... 33 To Go

My due date's a little confusing. If you go off of my LMP it would 8/20/10. If you go off of my ultrasound it would be 8/26/10. So, for now I'm just going to go off of my 8/26/10 due date. The funny thing is, Ella's due date according to my LMP was 8/19/07 and according to her u/s it was 8/25/07. I wonder if this little soul might be her long lost twin knockin on the door LOL.


Here's a little picture I took today. It really shows how much I'm really showing already.



Being that this is my 4th pregnancy I guess that's why I'm showing so early.


I talked earlier this week (actually like 2 days ago) that I my morning sickness had set in. Well, ever since I've posted that it's actually kinda been non existent. If I smell something gross I could most definitely throw up... but thank Goodness these past 2 days I haven't felt nauseas at all!


Reality is really setting in that there is indeed a little baby inside of me. I'm trying to have positive thoughts and think about how wonderful it will be when I finally see this precious little soul's face. But I'm not going to lie. I'm scared TO DEATH! Not about bringing this baby into this world, about the possibility of not bringing this baby into this world.  


Today I learned about a fellow blogger that I was just talking to on twitter 2 days ago about how she really wanted a baby girl, because she already has 3 boys!  We were talking about morning sickness... I remember how bad my morning sickness was with not only Mya, but with Ella as well.  I threw up with both of them.  She found out at her big ultrasound yesterday that her baby was no longer alive.  She was 18 weeks.  I was 18 weeks 4 days when I lost Mya.  It is reality that a beautiful blessing can be ripped from you.  It's not fair.  I don't understand, I can't grasp it, but I dread it.  I dread EVER having to go through what I went through that horrible September 5th. 


My little rainbow baby came though.  She came and filled my heart in a way that I didn't know could filled.  She eased the pain, when I thought nothing could.  I found my blessing in my tragedy.


With my experience I know now to treasure what I have a little bit more.  I know to be thankful for every day that I have life inside of me, because there's no better feeling.  There's no better blessing.


7 weeks down 33 more to go.