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Garibay Soup: What our FHE taught me

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

What our FHE taught me

On Sunday I woke up and I really thought that it was going to be a great Sunday! We all had our church clothes laid out and then the unexpected (well, I should have expected it) happened. Gino asked if he'd like me to keep Ella with him. This threw me! THREW ME for a loop. I didn't flip, and I just said, "No, thanks, but she's going to nursery this Sunday." The kids and I proceeded to get ready and we went to church. Okay... I know, I wouldn't walk out the door that easily w/out saying something horribly harsh and stabbing. So, luckily I had Gino to start me off by saying to me, "I'll pray for you today." I turned around and said, "Hmmm.... I'll pray for you and ask for your name to be taken off the rolls of the church so you can join Satan's church."

Wow.

Did I REALLY say that? YUP. I most certainly did, and felt like bawling all the way to church. I've been so confused as to why Gino is going backwards when all I want to do is make it to the temple and get sealed.

I walked into church and of course the bishop's wife who has that motherly touch was right there and hugged me and..... I LOST IT! I started bawling and couldn't stop. Then I went to the bathroom, got myself together then my friend Kari came to sit by me and I lost it again. I mean, the tears were FLOWING! It was horrible. It was a momentous day, the first day Ella went to nursery and I was sad that Gino wasn't going to be there for it. I had many emotions that day, and I felt beyond emotional.

So, Bishop and I talked and I'm not going to be in primary anymore. I didn't have to ask, but when I told him that I think it's my calling that's keeping Gino from coming to church he said he'd take care of it. I wanted to be in primary so badly. I loved being in there with Jayden, and I just might sneak in and hang out in there after Sunday school.

I have to do what's best for my family, and if Gino's not ready for me to leave him for the last 2 hours of church by himself, then I have to put his needs first. I feel good. I came home and we had a great talk and I think that he'll be at church on Sunday. I hope he is.

This is an example of where I need to try to Be like Jesus. Just like our Family Home Evening lesson LAST NIGHT. I need to be compassionate of Gino's feelings, be patient with his journey, and understanding. I also need to put him first. Right now, he's got to be feeling somewhat insecure, because this is really all new to him. I may have been active now for a year, but Gino's just really starting out here. There's so much to learn and instead of feeling pressures, that's exactly what he should be doing. If there's a Sunday where he doesn't want to go to church I need to be understanding and not push. Not get mad, but love him even more for the progress that he's already made. The hard steps of changing his life because he loves us that much.

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1 Comments:

Blogger Valerie said...

I'm sorry that you have to struggle with all that right now, but don't lose hope! Like you said, he is just starting and it isn't easy to change all at once and he does have his agency. My husband and I were sealed in the temple and a few months later, he stopped going to church. It was hard to go to church alone, but I knew that is where I needed to be. I prayed and cried, but things did get better. He started going to church again and doing his callings. He has grown and learned so much and now he is a Bishop of our ward. Your husband has so much potential and I'm sure he can bless the lives of so many people when he chooses to. Always try to see him the Savior's eyes. He is merciful and quick to forgive, which is much harder for us (well, me at least). I hope that your release will make things easier so you can both attend Sunday school together.

January 27, 2009 at 12:10 PM  

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