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Garibay Soup: What do I do?

Friday, February 6, 2009

What do I do?

I'm happy where I'm at. I'm happy where I'm at in every aspect of my life. Especially where I live at. I never thought I could be happy away from my home, but strangely this has become my home.

We're in a very scary economy, and people are losing their jobs left and right. It's scary. It's petrifying. I'm thankful, because I don't feel like we're going to be effected by this.

My job is different, I work at home. I do books for my grandmother's mobile home and manage the park. It's different, because I'm not physically at the park. I have my maintenance man that makes sure that things are running smoothly there, and it works. However, I'm being offered an opportunity that part of me thinks I'm stupid for turning down.

This opportunity would consist of Gino quitting his job. We would have Cobra insurance for a year, but after that I don't know what we'd do. Maybe pay an extreme price for insurance, because I do have a cardiac baby, and insurance is necessary. We would move to a very small town and live in a manufactured house. A 4 bedroom, beautiful manufactured house, but it is what it is. Gino would not have to work. He would be free to go to school full time and get his degree. I would get my dealer's license and sell mobile homes to fill up the park. It would be a 2 year plan. When all was said and done we would be able to buy some land here in Oregon, and be given a manufactured house to put it on.

I don't want to do it. I don't want to leave my happy place. I don't want to go and join a ward that I don't think I'd be happy in. I don't want to leave the security that my husband does have at his work. I don't want to uproot my children and put them in a school that I think would suck. I don't want to not have a program like the YMCA for my children to go to. I don't want to not be able to go to Target or the mall or Olive Garden or Applebee's whenever I want. I don't want to become depressed. I don't want to live in a miserable town like Ely. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to.

But should I? Is it the best thing for our lives? Is 2 years all that much? The thought of it makes my stomach hurt and me want to cry. I'm happy. I love where I'm at in my life. I don't want to ruin it.

I feel insecure and sick to my stomach. I don't want to do this, but I know my Grandma needs me to. Who else is going to be able to sell mobile homes and fill that park up? There has to be another way.

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7 Comments:

Blogger Jen said...

Wow, that's a lot on your plate, girl. I'm sorry you are stressing so much. I've learned a lot about life since I lost my mom and one thing is for sure... life is WAY too short and precious to be unhappy. You have to do what is going to make you happy... and being miserable for two years is a LONG time. I don't envy your decision.. and hope you do what's best for your cute little family. Love you! ♥

February 6, 2009 at 3:50 PM  
Blogger Aimee Kieffer, aka "Momzoo" said...

Pray about it....

Then be confident in your decision.

February 6, 2009 at 4:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW-I second what Jen had to say- with the encmy the way it is right now-times are really scary-Gino has a really good thing with Home Depo-I have learned sometimes you have to be selfish for you, your hubby, & children-even if that disapoints (Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, Dad)- I am going thru that right now-with my inlaws...Really after my stroke-I look at things differently now- life can be over in a min. So I try to enjoy life every day, week, month- I don't put things on hold anymore...Because you never noo...I hope what ever you choose-feels you, and your families heart with lots of love, joy, & happiness...Lovvvv Megs

February 6, 2009 at 8:37 PM  
Blogger Simple Complexity said...

Amanda just like with being a mom and trusting your mommy instinct, I think you're mind and you're body are telling you your answer. If thinking about it alone makes you very unhappy and makes your stomach hurt and makes you want to cry, IMO that's your answer right there. Imagine how you would feel if you went through it? Pray about it, see what God wants you to do, but honestly I think you already have the answer, you just have to listen to yourself. That's a lot to do and while no 2 years in time isn't a long time but two years of being miserable and whatnot is a long time. Think about what it could do to your family in the long run if you're not happy, they're not happy, and you have no support system like you do there. While yes money wise it would be a good thing, I think family wise and mentality wise you have to decide which is more important. Would you be happy, would Gino be happy, would the kids be happy? Sometimes in the end that's what matters. I will be praying for you as this is a tough choice. But you have to put you and your family ahead of what others might want and it's not stupid if you don't take it, not if it's not the right choice for you.

February 7, 2009 at 2:32 PM  
Blogger Rachel said...

Wow. From what I know about Ely, never having been there myself- I wouldn't want to live there either. And this coming from someone in Winnemucca! LOL!

Anyway, I think you have to listen to your gut instinct. If it feels wrong, don't do it. 2 years is a short time if you're happy, an eternity if you're miserable.

February 9, 2009 at 7:35 AM  
Anonymous Sammy said...

Paragraph four would be my decision maker. Ella is doing well right now, but the fact is, she's a cardiac baby. What facilities are in Ely? How close is the nearest one? How will it feel to spend half your income on insurance?

Good things like the house, Gino's education, etc., can come to you even if you stick it out right there. There are three people that rely on you to make the right decisions, and your Grandparents are not part of that. You are a wonderful granddaughter for wanting to be helpful to them, and for doing a great job for them so far, but ultimately, Gino, Jayden and Ella need Mama. What surrounds them, be it the apartment that you are in, or a great big house, is nothing compared to the sanity, attention and love that comes directly from you.

Aimee is right, pray about it. But I think you know the answer already, and God is just waiting for you to start walking down the road he's got you pointed in.

All my love from Sacramento - Sammy

February 10, 2009 at 10:58 PM  
Blogger Kim H. said...

That's a lot to deal with and figure out - this might not help, but Eleanor Roosevelt once said: "Do something everyday that scares you!"

It might be an opportunity for your family to grow closer than even your wildest imagination could think of.

February 12, 2009 at 11:50 AM  

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