Crazy Hectic Day ~ But I'll Survive

Today was havoc... there's no other words for it. You know when you have a day that EVERYTHING goes wrong? Well, that was me today. I'm sure I could have mentally turned this day around, but I didn't ~ so up until not too long ago I was going CRAZY!


My dog ran away, 3 dishes are broken {complete accidents}, my living room looks like a tornado went through it, so does my kitchen, and I'm exhausted..... been exhausted all day long.


But as I sit here looking at the mess I get to clean up, which will probably take me until close to midnight, I'm feeling grateful.  I'm feeling grateful for my life, because as hectic as days may seem, my life is really good.  Sometimes when we have days like this it's so easy to get caught up in the depressingness of it all, but if I do that... I'll just go in a downward spiral.  So ~ I'm going to clean up this mess, pray for my dog, and thank God for my children and my many blessings in my life.

Just a Motivating Monday - Happiness

If you're just joining in:
-Write a blog post about ANYTHING at all that inspires you, or something you feel will inspire others. 

-Please link back to Garibay Soup 

-Please snag my Just a Motivating button on your post.

-I hope that we can all go and visit each other's blogs and read what everyone has linked up ~ I hope that this carnival can bring more traffic for you :) So, spread the comment love!


It's really unfortunate that our world is filled with so much unhappiness. I'm going to be simple and to the point this week.


Happiness is a choice.  I'm a STRONG believer that  we create the things in our lives all by ourselves.  If you're unhappy it's more than likely because you are choosing unhappiness.  Heck, if you are constantly focusing on the negative things in your life, the people around you's life, you can bet your butt you're gonna be completely, miserably unhappy.


Focus on what you have, focus on the happy moments that happen in your life.  If you focus on those things, guess what.... it's the most amazing thing EVER.... you'll have more of them.

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” —Oprah Winfrey

I look at that quote by Oprah and think that this most definitely has a lot to do with happiness.  Not just things.  Happiness is something you either have, or don't have.    


Focus on happiness.  


Choose Happiness.


I hope this little snippet on happiness will inspire you from here on out, not only for this week but for the rest of your life to choose happiness.  We are too blessed to be depressed!

Works for Me Wednesday - Designing the BEST 10 Years of Your Life

This year coming up I'm kicking resolutions out the door. I'm not about to spend another year making a list of things that I ended up forgetting about 27 days into the new year. Nope... this year I have found something that is DEFINITELY going to work for me!


Personal Growth is HUGE for me right now. I have spent tons and tons and tons of time talking and talking and talking about it on my blog. It's so important for us to grow in our lives, and there's no better way to jump on board with personal growth then what I'm going to share with you.


Darren Hardey who is the publisher of Success Magazine is doing an 8 week FREE workshop on his blog. People.... this is HUGE! His workshops cost around $1,500.00... and this man interviews the most successful people in the world! What better person is there to learn about personal growth and how to make 2010 the best year of your life?


I can't even begin to describe the joy and excitement I have for this!! It's starting on Monday and the best thing you could do is head over to Darren Hardy's blog... watch the video and join in on this... IT COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE!


{CLICK HERE} to head over to check this out!!  And then {HERE} is the newest post he's written about this!


For other things that work for other's head over to Kristen's blog over at {Works For Me Wednesday}

Humbling Life Experiences

This time of year is supposed to be time of joy, and a time of being thankful. For us, it most definitely is. I've had things happen to us that are VERY humbling. Things that I didn't expect, and while they should have us in a panic instead have us at peace.  

These couple of weeks I've learned a lot about people I thought I knew.  These past couple of weeks we have found out of HUGE changes coming into lives, and these changes are the best changes I could have ever asked for.  

Today I'm taking my right to ramble.  I'm rambling away on here and talking of MANY things going on.  If you're reading this and thinking it has to do with you.... it just might.  However, please keep in mind that this post is not about any one person... it's sortof a whole slab of people.

GOSSIP.

Most ugliest word in the entire world.  This word destroys relationships, people and souls.  I am most definitely guilty of it, as most people in this world are.  I actually have many personal goals going on right now, and cutting gossip out of my life is at the top of the list.  Especially, since I've learned recently that somebody VERY close to me is just full of gossip lately.  Making crazy things up, and acting like a lunatic as she gossips about me to MANY people..... people that even have NOTHING to do with her.  

Don't take this post for what it's not.  I'm not here to have it out with people, call people out.  I am here for the sole purpose of talking about things that can ruin people's lives.  I'm quiet lately.  Not on the phone with people I usually am on the phone with, because honestly... I just want to get through this holiday season without hearing another thing that makes me cringe.

This holiday season there are so many people that I am just plain out disgusted with.  The majority of them are in my own family..... my own flesh and blood.  And guess what.... GOSSIP is the reason why.  

Changes are being made in the Garibay home.  Humbling changes, exciting changes, and I am just completely thrilled that I am at the point in my life that I am at.  I am so thankful to have the most amazing, supportive, loving husband that a girl could EVER ask for.  I am so thankful to have the most sweetest little souls as my children that a girl could EVER ask for.  We're doing this together as a family.  

2010 is going to be a wonderful year for me.  Grudges will not be held.  I will be very reserved on what parts of me I let people in on.  I will continue to better myself as a person.  I will try to see the best of everyone as that's what I've always done.  I will no longer gossip.  Sometimes funny things about people that you want to share with others seems like a good idea at the moment.... even if they are true, but it's not a good idea. {all bets are off when it comes to me keeping things from my husband.... HE KNOWS EVERYTHING I KNOW}

Gossip on me will be ignored.  I do not have the patience for this anymore.  Especially coming from people who are supposed to be respectable people.  The delusions that they can fabricate in their head is absolutely amazing.  AMAZING.  Now I understand the things that have been told to me.  Now it's all clicking and making sense.

If you are a negative, self destructing person, I will probably not be surrounding myself around you.  If you are somebody who does nothing but talk about others I will probably not be surrounding myself around you.  You become who you are around and I prefer to surround myself with positive, successful people who are striving to constantly improve their inner self.


But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you; ~ Matthew 5:44

Just Breathe

My blog isn't always funny, cheery or anything that would ever make any reader ever come back to it. BUT IT'S MY BLOG, so sometimes I have to throw some crap up in the mix that means nothing to anybody but myself... cuz that's why I have a blog right?


The word family to me is a BIG, FAT JOKE! I'm not talking about my precious, beautiful family that I have here ~ my husband, my son, my daughter... I'm talking basically about the other family... the extended family.


I'm not fortunate enough to have a good, close, loving family. That just doesn't exist for us. We have the occasional callers, the people who use you because they need something and then the people who FU&$ you right up the ass. Yeah, if you can't tell I'm pretty pissed off. Dreams are shattered, stress is bellowing and I have to figure out how to make things right.


If I am absent from my blog for a while, just know that I'm working on things. If I'm not tweeting, I'm working on things.


I will be okay. I just need to remember that my husband and my kids are the ONLY thing in this entire world that matters. It's unfortunate when life that's going so well suddenly throws a tornado at you... a tornado that flips everything out of control.


Just breathe, Amanda, just breathe.

Our Days are Never Promised.... Treasure each 1

Our days are never promised, we are here living our lives in hopes that we live a long, healthy life. That is not always the case. You may wake up one day, have the best day of your life, and never make it to the next morning.

It's a sad, scary, thing that for the most part we try to not think about. I like to think that I will be around for many years to come, that I will get to meet my Great or even Great-Great Grandchildren. But reality is, I may step into my car today and never get out alive.  Worse to me is one of my loved ones could step into a car and never come out alive.

It's a fact and it's a fact that scares the living crap out of me. You never, ever know when your last kiss will be. You never know when you will see that smile for the last time.  We need to treasure every, single moment granted to us on this earth, because every, single moment is so precious.

I received a phone call at 6am with tragic news, news that has me thinking about life. A very young, married couple traveled on a road I know too well to head home after a vacation. Right now, 1 is dead, 1 is on life support and their 3 month old baby is on their way to the hospital to be with her grieving family.

I do not personally know this couple, but I am very good friends with one of their siblings. I am utterly heart broken for the family, I am utterly heart broken for the wife who is now responding as they're going to attempt to take her off of life support for the moment she discovers that her husband is gone.  That there will be no more smiles, no more kisses, no more arguments... no more nothing.  That life she loved will never be the same. How in the world do you find the strength to breathe after finding something like that out? How do you move on when the one person who you are supposed to live your life with is gone?

Do you let the ones in your life know how much you love them every, single day?  Do you fret over small stuff that in the end doesn't matter?  Strangely this has been an eye opener for me.... I need to focus more on each day as the last day of my life.  Would I spend it bickering with my husband, being frustrated with my kids and the house?  No.... I definitely would not.  So on days where I've just had it, I'll hug my babies, hug my husband and thank Heavenly Father for this day I have with them.... because they are my world, and I couldn't fathom even the thought of not having them in it.

Doshier family, you and your entire family is in my prayers.  I pray that hearts are comforted, that your sister is healed both physically and emotionally.  I am here if you need anything and I am so, so, so sorry that this had to happen.  I am sickened for everyone and you will remain in my thoughts and prayers throughout this horrible healing process.   

Another Garibay Adventure... A possible life change

I never thought I'd leave Sacramento. It's where we planted our seed, it's where we became we. Our son was born there, my mom was there. It's where my sister and brother were, it's where my nephew and niece were. But we left. We made a decision one day, packed our bags and off we went. We left our life behind, our seed, our families, but we kept our we.

We found a happy place, a place that was our's. A place that we could see ourselves living forever and ever. A place that I pictured my kids growing up. A place where we could always be we.... our happy place.

An opportunity has come up that Gino and I are having a hard time passing up. An opportunity that would steal us away from our happy place, and I grow more and more excited with every passing day!

We are currently on vacation in Colorado. We drove and have soaked up in the beauty that we have seen right before our eyes. With every turn on the freeway we gasp in awe. Of course Oregon is gorgeous, there's nothing more peaceful to me than the Oregon Coast, but is that enough to keep me there?

At the end of the day it's just Gino, the kids and me. Can't we be happy anywhere? I want my kids to grow up with cousins, here in Colorado they'd have that. I want to be able to own my home, and here in Colorado we'd have that. I don't want to decide where we'll spend the rest our lives before we're 30, and moving to Colorado gives us another option.

I think we're going to be moving to Colorado and I am scared, giddy, excited, feel like I'm going to Disneyland and emotional all at the same time. I mean, come on ~ I'm moving out of the Pacific Time zone.... that's huge!

There's a family that lives here that I love to death. My aunt Rayna and I are extremely close. I lived with her for a while as a child. She has 2 teenage daughters that are just special, precious girls, she has a son that's 2 years older than Jayden and a son that's 6 weeks older than Ella. She has a husband who shares some of the same interests as Gino does. We have a 4 bedroom, brick, old fashioned home waiting for us. Why wouldn't we do this? What is keeping us in Oregon?

Tomorrow we will venture to Pueblo where our future home awaits us. We will walk in and vision our future and imagine the possibilities in front of us. We will picture what colors we want the walls, where our furniture will fit, and I will walk into my office/craft room with a smile in my heart.... it will be my dream come true.

I think a huge change is coming to the Garibays and I believe with all of my heart that this change will be good. Please keep us in your prayers as we pray ourselves to ensure that this is what will be best for our family. With how I feel already, I think it's it. I think this is where we belong.

I will take pictures of our home tomorrow ~ from my understanding it's an adorable, vintage home, but needs some work.... all the better ~ we will can put our own sweat and love into it and make it ours ~ because we will be bringing our "we" into it.

The People Along Life's Path

We finally escaped from our house and got on the road late last night. By the time we arrived at our first hotel at 1am I thought I was going to die of exhaustion. Have you ever gotten to the point when driving late at night where you think, if I just close my eyes and wake up in a hospital bed, at least I'll be sleeping.... I know, terrible but that's how I felt. The kids and husband in the car with me are what kept my eyes pried open.

Today we arrived at our first destination. Miserable, loney Ely, Nevada. If you've ever been to Ely you know exactly what I'm talking about. Anytime that I come to this town I get this sick feeling in my gut and just want to turn the car around and not look back. It just has the icky feeling to it.

Today was different. Right when we pulled into town I pulled in front of a sports bar that my mom's ex from when I was a little girl owns. Seeing him did something to me I think. He came out and got to meet my family and had a smile on his face that made my soul feel like it was smiling. I miss him. I miss him and my mom together. When they were together we were a family. I was happy.

I think on this trip this is going to happen a lot to me. I'm backtracking and going to places that are from my past and I'm going to see people and places from my past that will bring back memories and feelings... feelings I really didn't realize I had in me.

How is it possible for people to come in and out of your life? There are so many moments that happen in our life, relationships that we form, and as we grow apart, move apart, lose contact we forget. We forget how much these people mean to us. I think it is dreadfully sad, and I want to make it a goal to stay in contact with the people that have meant something to me. Not just the current people in my life, but with everyone that has had an impact in my life.

I didn't have the privilege of having a father growing up. My dad as I've talked about many time on this blog has never been my dad. But because of this I have had the privilege of having some wonderful father figures in my life. 1 of them met my children tonight. The other will be meeting them in Salt Lake next weekend. Dustin in Salt Lake was never a step-dad of mine, but he holds the place in my heart that a Dad holds in a girl. He is such a wonderful person and did so much to help me out through my teenage years, and I disappointed him. I just want him to know now and always that I appreciate him, and I am so happy that he has such a wonderful family ~ and I'm happy he continues to help troubled teens. I only hope that they realize what a wonderful guy they have there for them.... Dustin rocks and I CANNOT wait to see him next weekend and have him meet my husband, my children and to see that I didn't turn out too bad.

I want to remember the people that have impacted my life. I want to make contact with them all and let them know how they helped to make me who I am today, because that's what happens.... the people in our path of life help to make us who we are.

I Figured Out Why

I read a quote on Twitter talking of how there are 2 important days in everybody's life ~ The day we are born and the day we figure out why.

It reminds me a lot of {this post}.

But more importantly it reminds me that I am a mom, and my life has taken a completely different turn that before and the reason why I live, breathe, eat... everything is for my children. One reason why I am here is to be an example to them. To bring them up with values that will carry on with them throughout their life. To love God and be thankful and thoughtful of what Jesus Christ did for them. To be a good mother to my children, to God's children, and to treat all of God's children with the respect that he wishes we would treat each other with.

It reminds me that I make mistakes every, single day of my life, and I have a wonderful savior that died for me so that I can learn from these mistakes and be forgiven. That there is such a thing as unconditional love, and that I should express this to the people in my life, since it is expressed to me from Him.

It reminds me that I'm not just on this earth to live in the moment of life, but look at the eternity aspect and think of that before my actions. To think before I act, so that I can be proud of who I am and for what I stand for.

It reminds me that I am here for a reason, and a reason that is worth living for, and reason that will have rewards in the next life ~ in eternity.

Time and life

I have not been able to find enough time in my days lately. My to do list is overwhelming, my project lists are overwhelming and I sometimes feel like I'm failing as a mom. At the end of the day I sigh and wish I had taken videos of Ella's cuteness, of the things that come out of my precious son's mouth and maybe more pictures.

But after rushing through the day, and not even being able to keep up my house I almost feel as if I've failed the day. I need to be more structured, and although I've been working on this, I've never actually succeeded here. My entire family needs structure, because things get forgotten, and that's not supposed to happen.

I used to spend a lot of time on the computer - not working, but doing the things that I love to do. I've cut that time durastically, because I felt like I wasn't doing the best I could for my family. Things weren't getting done, and dropping my computer time has indeed helped. But there's more that needs to be done. I sometimes feel rushed and I don't like that. I want more special one on one time with my children. I want to have a fun project that we do at least every other day. Their childhood is flying by and I'm scared that through rushing through my days that I'm going to miss something important.

I want to see the excitment in their eyes as they dip their hand in paint and not fret about the mess that's about to be made. I want to have set hours that I work and not work other than those hours, a set time to sit with Jayden and have him read or read to him, a set time to spend one on one time with my husband (even if it just consists on catching up on Desperate Housewives episodes). I just don't want to forget the important things I should be getting done daily.

My kids and my husband need to know that I do have it together, I can handle it all, and they are the most important thing ever to me.

I love Garibay Soup

I started this blog back in November of 2007 for the sole purpose of updating family members on our life away from them. I was reflecting back on how much bigger it has become. What new purposes it serves, and how I've grown from it.

I have had the most amazing privilege of getting to know other bloggers out there, and learning things I never thought I'd learn in bloggity world.

I am making my family's history. I consider this my version of my family's life, and one day my kids, their kids and possibly even their kids' kids will get read about the things I feel, the things I love, the things that anger me, but the main thing is they'll get to know me.

Sometimes I post meaningful things to me that I know my readers don't care about, but when it comes down to it, this blog is for me. It's for my family, and it doesn't matter if I have a million readers or none.... this blog will always remain, and I will always try and keep in perspective the purpose of this blog.

I don't always have joyous things to write about. I'm not hesitant to write about the trials in my life. I like to focus more on positive things, but let's face it.... life isn't always rosy and cheery. I'm happy that I have this blog to turn to and record the things I have failed to write in baby books, that I can talk about the things that frustrate me, the things I've discovered that work for me, and a place to just ramble about whatever my crazy mind has on it.

I'm extremely grateful for so many things in my life, and I find it kindof funny that Garibay Soup is definitely one thing I am grateful for. I love that my life is right here, that I have a record of the things that I have accomplished, the things my children and accomplished and the monuments in our life.

I love Garibay Soup.

Being Thankful

Do you ever wake up in the morning happy to be awake early? Happy to be alive? Looking forward to all of the days activities.... even if it's just about getting housework done? This has been me for the past couple of days. It's weird.

I get excited when I wake up and can't wait to start living. I've been more enjoyable to be around, not complaining and nagging, or getting frustrated with my husband and children.

I've been trying to stay positive and look at the wonderful things about my life. I don't focus on what I don't have, I've been focusing on what I do have. Ella might be a pill (like at church today) but it's okay, because she's here.... alive. She could be dead. Yes, quite morbid, but she did almost die as a newborn and instead of getting all stressed out, I am starting to appreciate the fact that I do have a toddler here with me to throw a fit. Her fits can be like music to my ears, because it could be like Mya. I never got to hear her throw a fit, or laugh, or have her pull my hair. I have gotten to the point where I understand why she's gone. I have accepted it. She died so Ella could be here. In my heart I know that we will all be together one day. One day I will get to meet Mya and I will thank her for allowing me to have Ella in my life. Without Mya dying there would be no Ella. That is my positive outlook on losing Mya. It took me a long time to get there, but I'm there. I'm at peace.

I often times get overwhelmed with all of the tasks that I have to complete. Well, instead of letting these tasks overwhelm me I'm trying to be thankful for the fact that I am able to stay home and have these tasks. I could be working out of my home and not be able to see my children until 5:30pm at night. Thankfully, I spend every waking moment with Ella and with Jayden when he's out of school. I am thankful for that. I am thankful that I put my mind to being able to become a work at home mom and I did it. I want to be here for my children. I want to be the one who raises them, and I cannot express how much gratitude I have.

Being thankful isn't something that is so easily done. You have to actually think about these things and realize the many tiny, little things in life that you don't realize are so wonderful. The fact that I have running water, food ALWAYS on my table, a husband that is my best friend, and children who are loving and a son that has more respect than I've ever seen in a boy. These little things about life make me smile and feel overwhelmed with thanks.

When you feel like your life is out of control and there's a million reasons why you hate your life, you should stop and make a list of all the things you love about your life, the things you're thankful for.... even the small things. Focus on those things, and make your life what you want it to be.... paint your own picture. That is what I have been doing and I'm very thankful for it all.

The Secret... some Saturday inspiration

A couple of years ago I picked up the book The Secret. I couldn't put it down. I probably finished that book within a day, and started to apply the things that were inside of it to my life. The outcome was phenomenal.

It's been a couple of years, and I know that I'm not so conscious of what my thoughts are and I'm making goals for my life, and I thought it would be good to pick up the book again and be refreshed. I'm so glad I did.

There's a couple quotes that I've read that I wanted to share on here. The first is

Others cannot create your happiness, they can only share in your happiness. Your joy lies withing YOU.

Matthew 21:22 Whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive

Mark 11:24 What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

You can start with nothing, and out of nothing and out of no way, a way will be made ~ Michael Bernard Beckwith

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions. ~ Albert Einstein

Whether you think you can or think you can't, either way you are right. ~ Henry Ford

There's tons of inspiring quotes inside of this book. If you haven't read The Secret, I highly suggest picking it up and reading it. You are in control of your life, and how it unfolds. If you want more debt and struggles, then think about just that and it will come to you. If you want success, money, love, decide that, focus on that and achieve that.

Some days I tell ya

The potty training with Ella has amazingly been going pretty well. She tells me when she has to pee pee and we go running to her little toilet. I did not expect this AT ALL. I expected her to not understand the concept ~ she's not even 2!

Today was one of those days where you actually stop for a brief second and wonder why you're doing it. Why you're in the spot you're in. I run and run and run. I have a full time job at home that does not involve the kids. I barely keep up the house the way it should be kept up because if I'm not working I'm going to one of the kids' activities.... or taking the dog to puppy training.... EVERY SINGLE DAY THERE'S FRICKEN SOMETHING!

I need a vacation from it all. I visioned myself on a beach with nobody.... guess what, I envisioned a margarita with tequila in it too! Just sitting there on the beach, letting the burning sensation run down my throat and hearing nothing but the waves. But, I'd get a headache, curse myself for drinking when I quit when Gino got baptized (except for the slip up of wine with my friend who's reading this... hehe) and start missing my chaos. That's the weird thing about it all. Somedays you just want to scream, but if it all went away and you were left without it, you'd be even more miserable than you were with it.

Today really sucked. I hope tomorrow is better.

IT WAS FAKE!!

I went to Jayden's conference and left so pleased. My little man isn't doing too bad, and I kept looking at the report card with this warm feeling in my heart.... he's doing so great!

So, the fact that he's doing great in school isn't a fake, but that report card was! We got another student's report card ~ so I have yet to see how Jayden is "really" doing LOL.

I have seen a huge difference in him and his school work. His reading comprehension used to not be as good as it is now. He's been getting 100% on his reading comprehension answers, and his math skills at home have been excellent.

I as a parent need to try harder though. There are days that I actually forget to have him read to me... there shouldn't be a day that goes by that Jayden isn't practicing his reading. I need to be more structured with the kids and myself. I need a time schedule in this house to keep me on track. I know that it doesn't work for some, but I think it would really work for us. Sometimes I get consumed in other things and I need to limit things for all of us.... computer time, TV time, and make sure that there is time for the things that matter.

I need to block time for my work for my grandparents, I need to block time for Wildtree and make sure that I'm not spending too much time on those things and not the kids. I should be completely done with everything by the time I pick up Jayden so that the rest of our day is spent together and that they have good memories... and this isn't impossible. It just takes organization and structure... and I need to get us there.

Life for us....

Life in the Garibay home has been a bit different lately. There are things that have happened that I can't yet discuss on my blog due to privacy issues (I'm not sure who reads it!!)

I will say this... I'm exhausted, sad and I just hope that everything turns out the way God intends it too. This doesn't have much to do with our immediate family, but is effecting it. Not in a bad way :) So... basically, life has changed a bit and will remained changed for probably a couple of weeks... maybe longer who knows.

Today is General Conference and I'm anxiously awaiting to see what guidance is passed down to us today. I know a lot of people will gather at the church today to watch the words of our prophet and advisers, but I will happily be watching at home with a pause button.... something much needed with kids!!!

What do I do?

I'm happy where I'm at. I'm happy where I'm at in every aspect of my life. Especially where I live at. I never thought I could be happy away from my home, but strangely this has become my home.

We're in a very scary economy, and people are losing their jobs left and right. It's scary. It's petrifying. I'm thankful, because I don't feel like we're going to be effected by this.

My job is different, I work at home. I do books for my grandmother's mobile home and manage the park. It's different, because I'm not physically at the park. I have my maintenance man that makes sure that things are running smoothly there, and it works. However, I'm being offered an opportunity that part of me thinks I'm stupid for turning down.

This opportunity would consist of Gino quitting his job. We would have Cobra insurance for a year, but after that I don't know what we'd do. Maybe pay an extreme price for insurance, because I do have a cardiac baby, and insurance is necessary. We would move to a very small town and live in a manufactured house. A 4 bedroom, beautiful manufactured house, but it is what it is. Gino would not have to work. He would be free to go to school full time and get his degree. I would get my dealer's license and sell mobile homes to fill up the park. It would be a 2 year plan. When all was said and done we would be able to buy some land here in Oregon, and be given a manufactured house to put it on.

I don't want to do it. I don't want to leave my happy place. I don't want to go and join a ward that I don't think I'd be happy in. I don't want to leave the security that my husband does have at his work. I don't want to uproot my children and put them in a school that I think would suck. I don't want to not have a program like the YMCA for my children to go to. I don't want to not be able to go to Target or the mall or Olive Garden or Applebee's whenever I want. I don't want to become depressed. I don't want to live in a miserable town like Ely. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to.

But should I? Is it the best thing for our lives? Is 2 years all that much? The thought of it makes my stomach hurt and me want to cry. I'm happy. I love where I'm at in my life. I don't want to ruin it.

I feel insecure and sick to my stomach. I don't want to do this, but I know my Grandma needs me to. Who else is going to be able to sell mobile homes and fill that park up? There has to be another way.

Today and Tomorrow's Inspiration

I read this on my friend Tammy's blog and had to put it here for others to read. This is probably one of the best things I've ever heard. So much that I'm considering putting it in a digital scrapbook page and printing and framing it.

She doesn't know who wrote it, so I can't acknowledge the writer as well, but....

"Each of us must direct our own lives, chart our own course and make our own decisions, and what is best for me is probably constraining for you. We too often forget the fact that what most of us need is to be nurtured, not improved. An emphasis on improvement confirms our inadequacies, while nurturing affirms who we really are and who really loves us. Too often we try to help others by seeking solutions to their problems, or giving them our plan for personal improvement when what they need is love, understanding and acceptance.

Let us remember these two things: that personal joy comes from appreciating the present and that the greatest gift we give to others is a nurturing heart."

I think that if we all lived by what is said above that we would all be much more joyous and happier in our own personal lives.

Inspiration from the Bishop

On Monday night we went to a Fireside at the Bishop's house. He was putting it on for the missionaries, and our missionaries invited Gino and I. So, we dragged my Grandma along with me. I know she didn't want to go, and honestly, Gino didn't want to go either, but they're both happier than you could imagine that they did go.

The Fireside was on his trip that he takes to Israel. The trip that my Grandma and Gino were supposed to go on, but this year they won't be going. Hopefully next year they'll get to go. The presentation was amazing. Our Bishop is the most spiritual, inspiring person I have met yet. His passion floors you.

I think it was kinda cool how he showed some scenarios that prove the Book of Mormon to be true. I guess I could write about the main one that was so amazing. They discovered a cave in the town of Lehi. Inside the cave there were ancient writing on the wall and they had an archeologist come in and analyze the writings. He determined them to be from 600 B.C. and that they talked of predictions of Jerusalem being destroyed and it had a sail boat and 4 men w/strong legs. The archeologist was confused as there was no large body of water near enough for a boat and he had a hard time putting it all together.

The archeologist went to the University of Utah where he got wind of the the story Nephi talks about in 1 Nephi. He was shocked and said, "Hey! How do you know that? Where does that story come from?" They handed him a Book of Mormon and he read the story and said, "Oh my gosh! This is it!!! This is the story in the cave!"

Hearing that story from the Bishop alone had chills all over me. My Grandma wants to meet with him once a week, and so does Gino. I'm sure he doesn't have the time for something like that, but it sure would be nice.

It was inspiring. I left wanting to be a better person. I left wanting to try harder to read the scriptures. I left happy with my decision to be right where I'm at in my life right now. I'm not perfect, and I'll never be perfect. However, I'm trying really hard, and I'm happy with that. I feel blessed that I'm a part of a ward with humble people. People that have not judged me and people who have loved to see how much the church is slowly changing my family's life.

I have put my BOM reading on hold, and it's going to stay on hold for a little bit longer. I'm going to start reading with Gino from the beginning. Then once I get to where I left off on my BOM blog I'll continue writing.

Are you having anymore?

I get this question a lot. Probably at least once a week from some random person. They ask, are you having anymore kids? Or are you done since you have a girl and a boy. I truly do feel blessed that I have a girl and a boy and can be done if that's what we wish for. I've even been told that I should get my tubes tied, which honestly I don't believe is anyone's business. However, here's my issue....

I love my sister. I love that I have a sister. I couldn't imagine not having my sister in my life and I've really thought a lot about this after she came up to visit this weekend. I can't guarantee that if I ever did decide to have another kid it would be a girl, but I don't like the idea of Ella not having a sister. So, I have no intentions of having anymore kids anytime soon (Ella needs 6 years of quality time like Jayden got), but I don't like the idea of never having anymore kids ever again. Yet, I feel like my family is complete. I guess what's meant to be in life will be. I just think it would be sad if Ella never got the chance to have a sister.