Precious Alana has left ~ Psycho Blog Stalkers... hope you enjoy!

Hello stalkers welcome to the stalker club, because sadly I have many. And yes, I did know that you people were coming to my blog ~ just like I know that Alana's brother's mom is STILL coming here and reading about my life, which is a little creepy.  BUT I really hope you share with Carina all of the things I have written, because THEY ARE THE TRUTH.  Carina knows I love her and would do anything for her and Alana, but I SPEAK THE TRUTH IT'S WHAT I DO ~ AND SOMETIMES THE TRUTH HURTS LIKE HELL.  


Since that has been addressed.....


There are many things in life that unfortunately we can't control. I know this, and in my family I'm known among them all as the one who likes to always have things in control and I take situations and make them mine. I don't know why I do this, maybe it's the mother hen {thank you, Kandi, for this word.. I use it often lol} in me, but I feel like everybody's problems are my problems ~ therefore I attempt to solve them.

I don't care who's reading this blog.  I don't care if my niece Alana's "other" family reads it {since creepily they do}, because I never lie on here, I only tell life how it is.  Sorry that it's not a pleasant thing.  I'm sorry that my niece has had to live a life of being tossed here tossed there.  I'm sorry I was giving her a very good life.  

She woke up everyday happy, and layed in bed next to her cousin as they read books.  They'd eat their breakfast, and play and go next door to their BFF's house.  If we didn't play at home we played at other places, fun kid places.  She lived a life of laughter, smiles & happiness.  She took a nap at the same time every day.  She ate her vegetables, but knew that she had to say her prayers before eating those vegetables.  She had fun bath time with her cousin and sometimes with her BFF too.  They were 3 peas in a pod those girls. Nighttime she loved to get in HER princess toddler bed.  She loved it.

I know that her mom was not happy about what she had to do.  I know deep down that her mom knows she's better off here than anywhere else.... FOR NOW.  I say for now, because every child needs their mama, but every child needs their mama when they're on the right track.... putting what's important first.  I know her mom was tricked into even coming up here, and I wish she had a spine to tell them all what she thinks, and how she knew {because she's told me over and over} that that Alana is safe and happy HERE.

Do I think Alana's going to be safe?  Not too sure on that.  If her mom is taking her to her "grandma's" house then kindof.  I know that her mom leaves her during the day w/one of the drug addict psycho men that were creeping around my house last week.  I don't think that's very safe.  If she stays with her mom, then we have her with her mom who is struggling really bad right now.  I wish she'd get help so she can be a mom to Alana. Alana needs structure, Alana needs to know that she isn't going to be ripped from here, tossed to there, and that the bed she lays in at night will be the same bed she wakes up to in the morning.  She needs what we gave her.  I wish more than anything it was something that her mom could give her, but right now ~ she can't.

I'm extremely grateful tonight that my children have structure, stability, and security.  I'm extremely grateful that even though I'm far from perfect, that they have a good mom.  It's funny that at times I really do stop and question if I'm that good of a mom.  Then I think about all of the things I've given my children.  Structure, stability, security, the gospel, God, love, 2 parents, and lots and lots of laughter.  I'm a good mom.  I need to remember that when I'm thinking otherwise. 

I could go on and on, but I won't.  My heart is sad, my home definitely feels like something is missing, and believe it or not ~ I feel SO bad for Carina, Alana's mom.  I couldn't imagine being in a situation where first off I go almost 2 months without seeing my daughter, and then I have people pulling the strings in my own life.  One thing about me is I do what I know is right and good for my kids, my family and myself.  She's not in a place in her life that she can do this, and that makes me so sad.  Alana had a picture that she carried with her and even slept with of her mom and dad when her mom was pregnant with her.  It broke my heart, because she looked so happy, so healthy.  I wish she could find her way back there for Alana's sake.  Alana needs her mom to be happy & healthy, so that in turn Alana can be happy & healthy.  I've known Carina for a long time, and she's like a little sister to me.  I've always been here for her, and wish I could make all of her problems disappear ~ but I can't.  

So, tonight, it's all in God's hands.  Not only does Alana need your prayers, but it wouldn't hurt to give Carina your prayers as well.  And my Ella needs prayers.  She's sad.  She lost her best friend, her cousin.  Tomorrow will be a hard day for her, but mommy will make sure that she has a good one.  Because I'm THAT kind of mom.  

A Scary Night

The prior two blog posts before this one were removed for the majority of today. I wasn't sure who was reading my blog, and things got extremely CRAZY and scary regarding the situation with my niece Alana that I felt that I had to remove the posts until her fate was secure.

My last post towards the end said... I never truly know what I'm going to wake up to. That statement couldn't have been more true.

I woke up in the middle of the night to men creeping around my house. Men that drove 5 hours to come and take my niece from me.... and I was home alone. And scared out of my mind. THANK GOD I have the most amazing neighbor in the entire world that informed me about this and stayed on the phone with me until my husband got home {unfortunately right now he works late}. Cops were called {they didn't see them or catch them} and we didn't sleep well ~ my husband sat up on the couch with one eye open... all night long.  I don't know what their intentions were in the middle of the night, but I can assure you they weren't good.  Why in the world they would drive 5 hours after I told them there is no way I would hand my niece over to them ESPECIALLY without her mom's permission.... and talking with my niece's mom and hearing her concerns about her brother & mother's intentions.  

People... I was scared.  I had never in my entire life felt my heart pound as hard as it was pounding.

In the morning they finally decided to approach our home again and knock this time.  I shuffled the girls into a hiding place and we were not answering the door.  Then they called, and I answered.  I threatened to call the police, and they left.  They figured they'd try to call the police and get Alana that way.

Didn't work.  The cops told them they need to leave as Alana will not be taken out of my home unless her mother who at this point has full rights takes her out.  Thank you, God.

She's still here, she's still safe.  

Pour Your Heart Out - #1

Tonight I was over at my Bloggity friend {Chelle's blog} and she was writing a blog for Shell's awesome {and you can click on the picture to head to Shell's blog}..........

probably not the best thing for me to join, because I love to hold things in... and then they need to come out ~ so here I go......

I try to keep the tone upbeat here at Garibay Soup... I really, really try. I think mainly because even when I'm not feeling upbeat I know my blog is upbeat. It's sortof MY LITTLE HAPPY PLACE.

But I'm not upbeat right now. I have so much family drama that I feel absolutely sickened by it. I have a LOT of family alive and I talk to 4 people out of my family. My mom, her dad (My Grandpa), my aunt who I love to death, and 1 of my sisters from my father... and that's just because I told her I'd buy her a car if she'd help me out. Had I not bribed her to be my on call babysitter, she'd be in her teen world and I wouldn't be hearing from her.

This is sad. My entire family is so EFFED up that I feel a little gloomy over it.

 I have a sister {from my mom} that I have ALWAYS been VERY close to... and where is she? Oh, she is immature, jealous of me and thrives on drama ~ she can argue otherwise, and frankly I don't give a crap, but when it comes down to it... she lives a MISERABLE, NEGATIVE life and finds any reason to push people away... well, sweetheart you pushed away the 1 person in this world that loves you to death, and I don't think I can ever let you close to my heart again.  Hopefully she grows up and realizes who and what is important in life.

My Grandma is the most dysfunctional, controlling, manipulative creature on this planet.  I just want to say that I am EXTREMELY thankful to not have her playing puppet master in my life anymore - lady... if you read this blog I'm just gonna come out and say LEARN HOW TO BE A MOTHER TO YOUR CHILDREN AND STOP JUDGING THEM SO HARSHLY... IT'S QUITE SICKENING.  I have learned a great deal on how not to be with my children from you.  


The funny thing is she wonders why her children have no respect for her {except for the one leaching off of her} but it's because she sent them all away {me included} as children.  My own mother got sent away at the age of 14 because she wasn't the "ideal" child... well, my mom ended up 14 and pregnant... thank God cuz now I'm here LOL.  But then when her children were facing hard times in life and needed a mother the most... she vanished, putting her nose up in the air acting like she was too good for them, when in my opinion she was worse than them.

My dad's entire family... please don't even get me started on that joke of a circus, because that's exactly what it is.

The rest... they just have major issues and it's extremely sad that they turned into what they turned into, but in the end it's good they are not in my life, because I am doing positive, exciting things with my life.

Okay... now to turn this around a bit.

I have learned from what my family has become to what my family is going to be like.  It's not going to be perfect, because what family is?  But there is going to be a heck of a lot of values taught, unconditional love given, and definitely a family feel to it.  And for this reason alone I want a large family.  I want to have family holidays together, family reunions, and get togethers throughout the year......  I want my family to be close.

So, if that isn't pouring your heart out, I don't know what is.  And I feel a lot better writing this... even if I lose a few blog followers.  This is me people... I'm not perfect, and neither is my life.

  

The Whitest Hispanic EVER!

My husband is Hispanic. He's a nice mixture of Mexican, Cuban, Puerto Rican. What I'm getting at here is he should not only know Spanish, but he should know how to spell things like.... quesadilla.


He had left a status update on his facebook about how he was hungry.... a comment was left telling him that he should make a quesadilla.


HERE'S IS WHERE I LAUGHED MY ASS OFF!


Gino: Um, why did he spell it wrong?


Me: What wrong?


Gino: Erran left a comment telling me to make a CASE-A-DILLA


Yes, people... he actually pronounced it like it was written in English.... WOW!


I don't think that I'll ever let him down for this one. I make fun of him EVERY, SINGLE DAY and he's gotten to the point where he makes fun of himself with me.


At work people come up to him all the time and start asking him questions in Spanish, and he always has to say, "Um, I'm sorry let me find somebody who can help you." SO FUNNY!


Don't let his skin color fool you, people.... he's the whitest Hispanic person I think I've EVER met in my entire life.

Ella is 2 and is acting like a stripper... I'm worried

I'm sure I've blogged about this before, but just in case I haven't I HAVE TO DO IT NOW! A while ago my ever so ghetto brother decided he would give Ella a dollar. When he gave it to her, he opened up her pull up and stuffed it on the side.... stripper style.


That has stuck with this little girl.... and I'm a little afraid about her future.


Any time she sees money, she grabs it and sticks it in her pull up... coupons... in her pull up. The other day I had $5.00 sitting on the table for Jayden's book fair, and it was gone! Gino and I were looking everywhere. Ella was standing by the ottoman in her pull up and I walked over, pulled open her pull up to find the $5.00 nestled in there.


Should I be worried?

Neighbor on Craigslist! LOL!!

Totally slacking here! Sorry.... there's been new neighbor episodes.


Frankly... not even normal.


"Jim" comes to my door and asks if I was offended when he offered to take pictures of me for my husband. Offended? No. Would do it in a million years? No.


Apparently, assistant girl went on Craiglist in our area under Artists and put his name as the subject. When you opened it I guess it told people of how he was offending his neighbor by trying to get her to pose nude for him, and that he spent $14,000.00 on hookers this summer. That confuses me, because how can he be a pimp if he's spending money on them? Obviously he doesn't know what he's doing.... or he's just down right a perv!


So, after he told me this {which he claims it's all lies} I asked if he reported it to Craigslist and he said he did. DAMN! I ran ever so quickly to my computer to take a screen shot of it for this blog post, but Craigslist is good... it was gone. BUMMER!

Potty Training at its FINEST

I have got to say.... having a puppy and a toddler together is one big fricking circus in this house!

The dog is pretty much potty trained.

I can't even begin to describe the excitement in my soul about this!

The toddler is in potty training process....

It's going well....

She actually went by herself yesterday, and decided to not put on her pullup

Instead just the pajama pants...

and I had NO. I-DEA.......

until droplets of poop starts coming out of the bottom of her pants in the kitchen.

After rushing her to toilet and then back to clean up the poop,

I found it had already been cleaned up for me...

by the puppy....

Just when I thought it was over....

Oh boy... if my neighbor only knew that I was sitting here blogging about his life.. UGH! That's okay... he never needs to know! So here I go airing out more...

"Assistant" has my phone number.  When I first met her I really was clueless to what was going on next door and I had told her I do photography, she wanted me to do her daughter's pictures so I handed her a business card.  She called...

She wanted to inform me that she called the cops, because "Jim" has some of her stuff and she has some of his, she wants to exchange property.  Well, she's trying to get statements together from people to give to the cops showing him what "Jim" does.  Okay, what does this have to do with me??!?!?  I'm not a hooker... I've only talked to the man a few times.  Oh, right... one of those conversations was quite awkward.  

When I met "Assistant" she had just gotten her boob job.  That kinda spiked my curiosity of what in the world does he do?  I knew he was an artist, because I've seen him load his canvases in the car, but what kind of "Assistant" gets a boob job?  So I asked.  I asked him, "Jim", what is it that you do?  It was a day I was loading my kids in the car as he was putting art in his.  He told me that he takes exotic pictures of women.... oh, so that explains the unusual traffic of women... whatever *rollseyes* Then came the kicker.... "I'm going to say this in the most respectable way I can.  If you ever want to do pictures for your husband I would love to do them."  Yes, he really said that to me.  My thoughts... oh, yeah, I'm just going to have some random, old perv take my pictures!  Let me just take off my clothes for ya.... H TO THE N-O!

So, phone call today... she wants a statement about it and then told me that if I had allowed him to (um, never an option) that he would have made money off my pictures.  That's great!  Could you imagine????  Not that I would EVER, EVER, EVER allow ANYBODY to take pictures of me.... could you imagine if I was clueless, had no self respect and wanted to go ahead with it... then one day when I became rich and famous (because we all know one day it will happen) the pictures came to haunt me... lovely.

I wonder what else is going to unfold.  I don't like being the person they both talk to, however, I like to know what's going on.  I'm a girl, and drama is my nature.  I don't like being a part of drama, but I LOVE HEARING ABOUT IT!

Wow.... um, yeah.... Celeste, I know you're reading this, my friend.  And I'd like you to give your Mother In-Law two thumbs up for me on the winner she chose to rent your old house... and while you're at it... COME BACK!!!!  I FRICKING MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY!  Just think about the fun our girls can have together living next door to each other again.  And P.S. Saturday is going to be SO MUCH FUN!!!  I HAVE NEEDED A GIRLS NIGHT OUT SINCE MY BIRTHDAY!  That's pathetic huh?  I owe you for your birthday so it's going to be FUN!

Neighbor Drama Continued

I got sick and couldn't continue on with the neighbor saga, but here I am to continue for all of those who were calling/emailing/DMing LOL  Names are being changed to protect identity.

There was a knock on my door and I answer to find his "assistant" standing there, sunglasses on and not very happy.  "Do you know how to get ahold of "Jim"?"  She asked.  "Um, no."  I'm sitting here thinking why would I know how to get ahold of him?  I'm just the neighbor that sits back and watches all the weirdness go on.

She tells me that he turned off her and her kids' cell phones, changed his number, threatened to kill himself.  He's in debt because he would spend between $300-$500 a day on escorts.  And that's where I laughed and said oh... I thought he was a pimp.  She looked at me and said, "Oh, he makes money off of these girls too."  WOW.  So he is a pimp!

"Assistant" continues to stop by wondering if he's come home yet.  He actually has come home, cleaned out his garage so he can park his car in there, poured out all of his alcohol and disposed of the bottles in recycling, and is kinda hiding out from her.  I have no idea what in the world is going on.  I saw him yesterday and asked how he's doing and he said that he's doing better.  I asked if he has kids and he said yes, and his wife of 25 years passed away.  Then he jokingly said... "I don't think that's the reason for my actions this summer."  I think he had a breakdown.  

So, "assistant's" story is that he's basically a pimp that sleeps with escorts.  His story is that him and "assistant" broke up.  Somebody is delusional, and my bet is on HIM.  Although he did buy "assistant" a boob job, and from my calculations, this happened towards the beginning of whatever relationship they were having.

My thoughts are, she was part of his "business" or whatever the heck it was, and he took their relationship a little more seriously.  I think he realized that he was drinking way too much, stopped drinking and realized what in the world he had been up to these last few months.  I think he decided to change everything and had to cut her out of the picture in order for this to work.  These are just my thoughts on it, who knows.  You can tell the man is lost in this world.  

And I was like.... wooooa!

I'm a girl... and girls LOVE a good soap opera story in real life to watch unfold. Well, maybe not so much a soap opera story, but in this case.... A REAL LIFE O.M.G THERE'S A PIMP NEXT DOOR STORY!


I'm gonna back it up here for a second to last week.... I think it was last week. I drop Gino off at work and pull up to the house to sit in my car talking on the phone to my friend Kandi while Ella watched Winnie the Pooh. I figured I'd just hang out in the car, wait for her to fall asleep then drive to pick up Jayden. Well, lo and behold, Mr. Mysterious that lives next door and leaves at all hours of the night and did I mention IS OLD is at his house with his "assistant".  Next events happen quite quickly and entire time I'm in complete shock thinking I KNEW IT!!!!


- Trashy car pulls up, blonde bimbo w/tats gets out of car and walks up to house where "assistant" is standing. (Keep in mind I'm in my car, engine off & tinted windows) Trashy girl hands "assistant" a wad of money.


-Mr. Mysterious comes outside and "assistant" walks over to her car while trashy blonde bimbo w/tats goes in the house with Mr. Mysterious. "Assistant" waits outside. Then after a few minutes "assistant" walks over to house, lightly knocks and peeks in and then walks in.


-I'm giving a play by play of all actions right now to my friend Kandi and we're completely just O.M.G CRAZINESS! So the saga continues...


-"Assistant" and blond bimbo w/tats come back outside and the Mr. Mysterious follows.... CRAP! This is where I get caught. Mr. Mysterious sees me in the car... I pretend like I'm not looking and am in just a complete serious conversation on my phone. Too late... girls leave and Mr. Mysterious approaches my vehicle.


His words: I'm in a complete love triangle mess! Did you see the girls?


Me: Yes I did!
Me in my head: and I also saw the wad of cash being exchanged


So, he ends up making this total story up to make me not realize that something completely illegal is going on. So, I come to the conclusion that he is indeed a pimp.  


The story doesn't end here my friends... oh no... the saga continues tomorrow ~ and you'll find out what exactly this Mr. Mysterious really does... and I'll tell you this much it's definitely an O.M.G kind of thing!

Tomorrow's events will begin.... there was a knock on my door. (and the knock occurred TODAY!  See ya back here tomorrow for the conclusion.

Some days I tell ya

The potty training with Ella has amazingly been going pretty well. She tells me when she has to pee pee and we go running to her little toilet. I did not expect this AT ALL. I expected her to not understand the concept ~ she's not even 2!

Today was one of those days where you actually stop for a brief second and wonder why you're doing it. Why you're in the spot you're in. I run and run and run. I have a full time job at home that does not involve the kids. I barely keep up the house the way it should be kept up because if I'm not working I'm going to one of the kids' activities.... or taking the dog to puppy training.... EVERY SINGLE DAY THERE'S FRICKEN SOMETHING!

I need a vacation from it all. I visioned myself on a beach with nobody.... guess what, I envisioned a margarita with tequila in it too! Just sitting there on the beach, letting the burning sensation run down my throat and hearing nothing but the waves. But, I'd get a headache, curse myself for drinking when I quit when Gino got baptized (except for the slip up of wine with my friend who's reading this... hehe) and start missing my chaos. That's the weird thing about it all. Somedays you just want to scream, but if it all went away and you were left without it, you'd be even more miserable than you were with it.

Today really sucked. I hope tomorrow is better.

What do I do?

What do you do when you have a friend with such severe problems in her life you almost want to turn your head and have no part in it?

There's a girl who lives here that ever since Ella was a newborn has needed me to be her friend. The first time I met her it was I NEED YOU TO BE MY FRIEND. I'm sorry, but I should have clung to that and been there as a good friend to her. I then saw her smoking while being 9 months pregnant and lost all interest in being there for her.

I'm writing this post, because I'm struggling with something. I as a person try to please everybody. I can be there, even when I can't. I can definitely do that, but honestly I can't. I can be friends with everybody, but truthfully, I'm so busy I hardly have time for my work and family.

This girl has once again entered my life. Our babies are now 1 1/2 and I figured it wouldn't hurt to be a friend to someone who needed one. I was on the phone with this friend yesterday and I had asked if she had the internet. Her reply was, "Well, yes and no. We don't have a DSL cable." Um... okay, a what?? I've never heard of a DSL cable. She too agreed that she'd never heard of it, and thanked me for confirming this. I asked, well, do you have a laptop or a desktop and she said laptop... but she's banned from it.

WOA! Okay... back up... you're an adult and you're banned from a laptop? What kind of a marriage is this girl in???? She then starts opening up and trying to in not so many words tell me how miserable her life is, when I hear "GET OVER HERE!!!!!!!!!" and that was screaming from her husband. She said she had to go and got off the phone.

I don't know what to do. I hate to turn my head and walk away, but I just don't think I can handle another situation in somebody else's life. I know she needs a friend, but I don't think I can sit here and watch a friend go through a life like that. I doubt she'll leave him, she's a very insecure person who has a bad outlook on herself. I'm completely opposite from this and can't understand why somebody would allow their lives to get to this point.

I guess I kinda need advice on what I should do. I have a lot on my plate and can't take on another person's problems, but what kind of person does that make me?

Our Family's New Addition.... and I need advice :)

Here's Sophie!! She's such a sweet addition :)

What a Sunday. It started for me at 5am waking up to Sophie pooping in her crate.... me not knowing, because it's dark and letting her walk out of the crate instead of carrying her. It was gross, and made me want to cry, but we dealt with it.

She's honestly done pretty well today on going to the bathroom outside.... I'm pretty proud! I must say though that dogs have HORRIFIC GAS! EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!! The kids have been having an absolute ball with her. They all run around the house chasing each other and having fun. Ella is hilarious and Jayden is so happy.

So, I'm funny in a way that I don't like change. I hate it actually, and when you throw something new in the mix I feel kinda down. I'm feeling that way today and I'm not sure if it's Sophie or if it's a decision that I think we're going to make. It actually could be a mixture of the 2.

A while ago I talked about an opportunity that my Grandma had offered us, which you can read about HERE. Basically I just never talked about it with her and made up my mind that it's not doable. There's no way in hell that I'm going to live in a *&it hole like Ely for 2 years. Just not happening. Well, she called today saying that she really needs our help, and I know this. I am the manager of this mobile home park there that is her's, and I know that there are many things that need to get done. Things that I can't make sure are getting done from Oregon. So, her new proposal is that we come for 6 months. This is a lot better than 2 years and is actually doable. If we leave when Jayden gets out of school then 3 months of that will be summer, in which we can take lots of little vacations with him. I won't need to actually be in Ely for the entire 6 months, we can do 3 weeks there, 1 week on the road.... or something like that. The next 3 months after his summer break I'll home school him until we return to Talent.

So, what's my husband to do about work when this is all over? What are we going to do about insurance since I do have a Cardiac baby? This is why 6 months just might be okay. Gino can take a leave of absence from Home Depot for up to 6 months (I believe this is the max he's going to check into this). At the end of our journey he will be guaranteed his job back at Home Depot, with no change in position or pay. Nice huh? For insurance we just pay Cobra and we will all remained medically insured.

The Perks?

1. We get a 6 month vacation from life with guaranteed jobs after we're done.
   
2. Get to live for free
   
3. All money I get paid just gets saved up
4. We get to travel
   
5. I get to spend time with my Great-grandma before she passes away
   
6. Did I mention we get to travel????
   
7. We will get to help my Grandma out in ensuring that the park is running smoothly and looking it's best.
8. We'd get to take the kids to the Salt Lake Temple.... Gino definitley needs to see that!
   
9. All the above isn't too bad right?
   

The Downfalls?

1. Well, first off I'd be leaving all my friends that I've learned to love so much.
2. I'd be leaving the beauty of Southern Oregon
3. I would miss out on the first 2 1/2-3 months of my nephew's life
4. I'd be in the miserable town of Ely
5. We'd have to change wards, which is something I really don't want to do, but I think we'd be okay here. We are a very strong family, we've been through it all.... literally, and I know that we can make it through about anything. I know that we can stay strong in the church, and if Gino has issues with it I'll just stay strong and set the best example I can.
6. Jayden would miss out on the first month of school.... luckily here they don't start school until September, so if we came back in October I'd only be homeschooling him for a month.

I think we might do it. We've been planning on moving out of this place anyways, since we're growing out of it. So, in June we can leave and come back in October to a new home.... maybe even one we'll own :)

I had amazing feedback on my last post regarding this topic, and I appreciate it all so much, so I'm begging for some here! Looking at the perks and downfalls, would we be dumb not to do this?

What do I do?

I'm happy where I'm at. I'm happy where I'm at in every aspect of my life. Especially where I live at. I never thought I could be happy away from my home, but strangely this has become my home.

We're in a very scary economy, and people are losing their jobs left and right. It's scary. It's petrifying. I'm thankful, because I don't feel like we're going to be effected by this.

My job is different, I work at home. I do books for my grandmother's mobile home and manage the park. It's different, because I'm not physically at the park. I have my maintenance man that makes sure that things are running smoothly there, and it works. However, I'm being offered an opportunity that part of me thinks I'm stupid for turning down.

This opportunity would consist of Gino quitting his job. We would have Cobra insurance for a year, but after that I don't know what we'd do. Maybe pay an extreme price for insurance, because I do have a cardiac baby, and insurance is necessary. We would move to a very small town and live in a manufactured house. A 4 bedroom, beautiful manufactured house, but it is what it is. Gino would not have to work. He would be free to go to school full time and get his degree. I would get my dealer's license and sell mobile homes to fill up the park. It would be a 2 year plan. When all was said and done we would be able to buy some land here in Oregon, and be given a manufactured house to put it on.

I don't want to do it. I don't want to leave my happy place. I don't want to go and join a ward that I don't think I'd be happy in. I don't want to leave the security that my husband does have at his work. I don't want to uproot my children and put them in a school that I think would suck. I don't want to not have a program like the YMCA for my children to go to. I don't want to not be able to go to Target or the mall or Olive Garden or Applebee's whenever I want. I don't want to become depressed. I don't want to live in a miserable town like Ely. I don't want to. I don't want to. I don't want to.

But should I? Is it the best thing for our lives? Is 2 years all that much? The thought of it makes my stomach hurt and me want to cry. I'm happy. I love where I'm at in my life. I don't want to ruin it.

I feel insecure and sick to my stomach. I don't want to do this, but I know my Grandma needs me to. Who else is going to be able to sell mobile homes and fill that park up? There has to be another way.

I don't get it

How in the world is it possible for people to hate someone so much that they all get together in a little click and talk horribly about this person, and then all of a sudden they're nice to her face again and offering her support and embracing her again?

I hate clicks. I hate backstabbing and I hate DRAMA..... even online drama. And this is why I have stayed to myself and focused on myself and my family and ESPECIALLY why I have stayed away from most forums (not including the heart & photography forums).

Nevermind... we're not like Brothers & Sisters

This morning at 5:38am Gino woke up and announced that his alarm didn't go off. He was supposed to be to work at 5:00am. Nothing sucks more for me than to be waken up in the middle of my sleep, because I SUCK AT FALLING BACK TO SLEEP!

I layed in bed and pondered on so much. My desk for work is in my room and I kept staring at it thinking about all of the things I needed to get done. Then I started thinking about my post about my siblings and how I referred to the show Brothers & Sisters in that post. Then I started thinking about how they all drink wine in that show, and how I really miss wine. Then I decided my family is nothing like that show, because I can't drink wine.

I miss wine sometimes. Especially the Principato Roseato from Olive Garden ~ the blush. Now that is some delicious tasting wine.

I'm over it.... I might have to take my friend Jen's advice that she gave on her blog and take ambien.

You had to know a complaint/vent was coming...

The baptism was beautiful and wonderful and everything that I expected, but I can't hold this in anymore.

My inlaws and my brother were the rudest ever! Gino's parents held it together through the baptism, and honestly I think my MIL felt the spirit, because it was hard not to. We had such an amazing turn out of supporter that they had to hold the talks before the baptism in the chapel.... I was told that never happens. My brother laughed through the baptism. I have no respect for that boy. He made me so mad.

I had a talk with Gino parents who seemed so concerned and full of questions before they came here that it would be really cool of them to stay the entire 3 hours of church so they could get some answers AND so they could support their son. This was going to be Gino's 1st real time (we don't count the first time he went to church) of staying all day, for all the classes. If anything it was mainly for Gino. It would be nice to have his father there for him, supporting him, even if he didn't agree with our religion. I'm not asking the man to get dunked right there. I was just asking him to be a dad for once.

So, first off, they showed up 30 minutes late to church, with my son. They missed the confirmation, and walked in during the passing of the sacrament.... I cringed. The Sacrament meeting was amazing. My friend who sang at Gino's baptism got up and sang His Hands in front of the church. The church choir got up to sing and the talks had me bawling in the mother's room. This girl gave a talk that gave me chills. She just talked about life experiences of her's and how the Holy Spirit has touched her life. One thing she said was how you don't have to be LDS to know the phrase Listen to your heart. That's the Holy Spirit. Listening to your heart is listening to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. She talked of how she had a miscarriage and how the comforting of the Holy Spirit got her through that time, and strengthened her marriage in a completely different way.... much like my situation with Mya.

So, nothing was said during Sacrament that would have people running for the hills. Yet, when it was over Gino's dad rudely wanted nothing more to do with it. Yet, they can call and run their mouth with a bunch of questions. I could feel the contention in them and it made the trip difficult. After church Gino's dad wouldn't even look me in the eyes. I just found his actions so selfish and sad. The people in my ward tried so hard with my in-laws. I couldn't be more thankful for them. Everyone was so nice and accepting.

Gino and I were walking to Gospel Principles and he said, "Amanda, this is why we didn't invite them to this in the first place. I knew they would act like this, and all that matters is that we're here doing what we're supposed to be doing."

I know that not everyone on this earth believes in the Mormon church. I'm not asking for everyone to believe in it, and I especially wasn't asking my in-laws to believe in it. But what harm is there in giving it a chance? What harm is there in listening to a couple of hours of words of God that can actually inspire you? Why are you so quick to judge something you know nothing about? When you don't even go to church, don't pick up a bible.... you think your way is so much better than ours? So much that when you are offered a FREE Book of Mormon by your own daughter in law just so you could possibly learn what your son is doing with his life (since you seemed so concerned and full of questions just a week ago) you say NO. Your so quick to hate, and that makes me so sad for you.

I tried to keep these feelings to myself. It's hard though. I needed to talk about it. I have no idea if they read my blog, and if they do then maybe they were meant to read how I felt about how they acted.

Next Sunday is the Primary Program. The primary will take over Sacrament and sing songs and give talks. Jayden will even get up to say something. I can't wait. Sadly, Gino got scheduled to work and will be missing it :( They better get his work situation fixed soon!

Case is dropped

Surprise, surprise. The case against me has been dropped. I can't wait until his executor and bank get the news that their little plot didn't work out.

Now we are back to living life with one less stress!

We Figured It Out

All because of one of Ella's medical bills. I swear OHSU creates a million different accounts and one of them was mailed to our old address. Therefore, it never got paid. Then it got turned over to Oregon Department of Revenue and we got a letter from them regarding the hospital bill. Norm offered to pay Ella's medical bills, as that's why there's a trust. The trust is for college, a down payment on a home or medical bills. Per Norm, I wrote all of Ella's medical bills out of his checking account, which I am an authorized signer for.

Norm's bank has nothing better to do than watch his accounts. They saw a check to Department of Oregon Revenue and called in the authorities. They lady who's investigating me told my grandma on the phone today that I wrote Oregon taxes out of his account. Guess what State of Oregon, I have backup that it wasn't for fricking taxes. It was for a medical bill! I can't wait to throw it in their stupid faces.

UGH.

I think I should sue his bank for harassment. I'm happy that Norm will be taking his stuff out of that bank, however, this just shows me that crap that comes along with Norm. I'll still be there for him and I'll do his accounts receivable, but I don't think I want to have to worry about every thing I do. I'm going to have to turn the bills over to Norm and hope that my Grandma can help him with them.

Blah!

I'm a little less irritated today, but still pretty pissed. I didn't go to church this morning, and not because of all this drama going on, but because it's just too hard without Gino. He has to work today. I'm supposed to go on a picnic with some friends from church, so I'll probably still do that...... just to get out of this house and get all of this crap off my mind.

It's hurtful that I would be accused of something so shallow when I love Norm and have ALWAYS looked for his best interest. I'm the one that's told him I don't want a penny from his will. The only thing I've ever wanted is for an education, which has been promised to me since I was a little girl. I don't want anything other than that.... and I've made sure that he and everyone else knows that. I don't care about his money. I have him here so that he can be around the wonderful medical that Medford has to offer, and a beautiful place with low elevation so he can breathe. The funny thing is he's not captured here, he's only waiting for a major surgery, then he's going home. Home to a place where not one soul will take care of him. He'll end up in a care center and it will be a sad, sad thing. Here at least he's in a beautiful retirement community, I take him out to eat, my Grandma takes him to her home to watch movies. There's so much we do with and for him. Yet, we're accused of wrong doing from people who don't even care about him?!?!!? Money does disgusting things to people. Beyond my comprehension.