Pour Your Heart Out - #1

Tonight I was over at my Bloggity friend {Chelle's blog} and she was writing a blog for Shell's awesome {and you can click on the picture to head to Shell's blog}..........

probably not the best thing for me to join, because I love to hold things in... and then they need to come out ~ so here I go......

I try to keep the tone upbeat here at Garibay Soup... I really, really try. I think mainly because even when I'm not feeling upbeat I know my blog is upbeat. It's sortof MY LITTLE HAPPY PLACE.

But I'm not upbeat right now. I have so much family drama that I feel absolutely sickened by it. I have a LOT of family alive and I talk to 4 people out of my family. My mom, her dad (My Grandpa), my aunt who I love to death, and 1 of my sisters from my father... and that's just because I told her I'd buy her a car if she'd help me out. Had I not bribed her to be my on call babysitter, she'd be in her teen world and I wouldn't be hearing from her.

This is sad. My entire family is so EFFED up that I feel a little gloomy over it.

 I have a sister {from my mom} that I have ALWAYS been VERY close to... and where is she? Oh, she is immature, jealous of me and thrives on drama ~ she can argue otherwise, and frankly I don't give a crap, but when it comes down to it... she lives a MISERABLE, NEGATIVE life and finds any reason to push people away... well, sweetheart you pushed away the 1 person in this world that loves you to death, and I don't think I can ever let you close to my heart again.  Hopefully she grows up and realizes who and what is important in life.

My Grandma is the most dysfunctional, controlling, manipulative creature on this planet.  I just want to say that I am EXTREMELY thankful to not have her playing puppet master in my life anymore - lady... if you read this blog I'm just gonna come out and say LEARN HOW TO BE A MOTHER TO YOUR CHILDREN AND STOP JUDGING THEM SO HARSHLY... IT'S QUITE SICKENING.  I have learned a great deal on how not to be with my children from you.  


The funny thing is she wonders why her children have no respect for her {except for the one leaching off of her} but it's because she sent them all away {me included} as children.  My own mother got sent away at the age of 14 because she wasn't the "ideal" child... well, my mom ended up 14 and pregnant... thank God cuz now I'm here LOL.  But then when her children were facing hard times in life and needed a mother the most... she vanished, putting her nose up in the air acting like she was too good for them, when in my opinion she was worse than them.

My dad's entire family... please don't even get me started on that joke of a circus, because that's exactly what it is.

The rest... they just have major issues and it's extremely sad that they turned into what they turned into, but in the end it's good they are not in my life, because I am doing positive, exciting things with my life.

Okay... now to turn this around a bit.

I have learned from what my family has become to what my family is going to be like.  It's not going to be perfect, because what family is?  But there is going to be a heck of a lot of values taught, unconditional love given, and definitely a family feel to it.  And for this reason alone I want a large family.  I want to have family holidays together, family reunions, and get togethers throughout the year......  I want my family to be close.

So, if that isn't pouring your heart out, I don't know what is.  And I feel a lot better writing this... even if I lose a few blog followers.  This is me people... I'm not perfect, and neither is my life.