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Garibay Soup: Mommy Guilt Sucks

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Mommy Guilt Sucks




This little guy used to be the center of my world entirely.... him and him only. He was the only baby in our family. My brother and sister hadn’t had children yet and the next baby in the family {my nephew} didn’t come until Jayden was 5. That’s 5 years of being spoiled by not only his mom & dad but my mom, my brother, and my husband’s family.


When he was 6 the next baby of the family came and that baby came directly to our little family. Miss Ella Bella.

I love how my family is growing, honestly I do ~ and the fact that we’re adding yet another to our family is beyond exciting. But my little man just keeps growing up, and our family just keeps growing. I can’t help but worry is he getting lost in the shuffle? Ever since Ella was born a lot of attention has been put on her, because of her heart. I hope I’ve never made Jayden feel like he wasn't special or important, because he is still my everything. He is still and always be my first born, and he will always be the center of my world…. This little man changed my life for the better the minute I felt him move inside me.

I think that I need to do more things with just him so that he feels special.

Now to elaborate a little more on this….

Jayden’s growing up. He’s going to be 9 in a month and he’s much more independent than his 3 year old little sister. When I’m home she literally consumes me. Ella and I have spent the last 3 years together day in and day out. She’s venturing into being little miss independent and she needs constant supervision. And now there’s going to be a newborn in a few months ~ and I’m terrified that Jayden is going to not feel important…. And I need to make sure that this doesn’t happen! I need to make sure that everyday I am making him feel special and important in some way…. And that he gets alone time with me w/no other children getting in the way.

To top all of this off, tonight as I'm frustrated and trying to get Ella to bed and my frustrations were apparently showing, Jayden says to me, "Geez! What did I ever do to you? Why do you keep yelling at me?"

*GASP* was I yelling? I didn't even realize I was yelling. I knew I felt frustrated, but in no way shape or form was it towards him. I had to grab him, hug him and apologize right then and there, because I deserved the BAD MOM award for that one.

Am I alone in feeling like this with my children?

Welcome to another week of me pouring my heart out.




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9 Comments:

Blogger The Gosfam said...

Oh wow that is tough--I think all moms go through that. I have no great advice on it though :) Mommy Son date nights aren't a bad idea. I haven't checked in forever. Sounds like you are doing well and keeping busy. I follow you now, so I will keep in touch better.

August 17, 2010 at 9:43 PM  
Blogger Kristin said...

You are so not alone but I too think date nights are so important. Time to yourself with no kids.

August 17, 2010 at 10:36 PM  
Blogger Shell said...

I think we all have mommy guilt about this. Mine are all close in age and I feel guilty that none of them ever really got much one-on-one time. I try to do things with each one individually now.

August 18, 2010 at 5:24 AM  
Blogger Tylaine said...

Oh my gosh you are sooo not alone!!
I hate mommy guilt and can't seem to get rid of it. Mommy/Son dates are a great idea. I love spending one on one time with my guy. Oh my goodness he starts 1st gr. next week! Oh boy more guilt! lol

August 18, 2010 at 7:39 AM  
Blogger Sarah R said...

That happens to me, too!

I had overwhelming guilt when I was pregnant with Elise. However, once she came, I realized my heart could accommodate them both. They have different needs but Andrew will always be my Andrew and I will always be there for him. He knows that. ♥

August 18, 2010 at 9:36 AM  
Blogger Sarah said...

As an oldest child, I can honestly say that the adjustment is hard at first but then it becomes a labor of love. I loved helping with my younger siblings and never felt like I was being neglected, I knew that I was independent and that they needed more attention. Just make sure to spend some special time with Jayden too and let him know how much you appreciate him! I'll bet he knows though!!!

August 18, 2010 at 10:17 AM  
Blogger Mothers' Hideaway said...

Oh my gosh. I think that would break my heart. I know you're doing the best you can and I know that at the end of the Jayden will know that, too!! xoxo

August 18, 2010 at 2:26 PM  
Blogger Mrs Gloves said...

I think this is something that all of us moms go through. I really hate that mommy guilt!

August 18, 2010 at 4:51 PM  
Blogger Kerri said...

It just comes with the territory I think. The guilt reminds me to do something about it. I try to have a date night with each of my boys at least once a month.

And tons and tons of hugs and kisses and I love yous don't hurt either!!

You are not alone!

August 18, 2010 at 6:39 PM  

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