Ramblings On Me

It's the stake conference at church today and we're not going. I really did want to go, but I really didn't want to make Jayden sit through that for 2 hours. Not to mention, 1 hour of Sacrament meeting with Ella is hard enough, 2 hours is unthinkable. I am sad though that I'm missing out on all of the great talks they'll be having today.

Lately, I've been struggling with this whole hormone issue that I'm having. I've lost all patience and I know that it's effecting my family. Yesterday I freaked out on Gino for the mere fact that he didn't get Jayden's new fish aquarium ready the prior day so that we could go get the fish. Then I freaked out because Ella was whining and I needed a break. He chose to go and get the fish aquarium ready instead of take Ella and that made me even more mad. That is psychotic. I'm flipping over the stupidest things and I just want to feel normal again. This was all on his lunch break, which he should have been able to come home and relax, instead he had to deal with his hormonal wife. I did end up taking Gaba Ease as soon as he left and it was like a reformation.... you'd think I was bipolar.

I'm on day 2 of taking my progesterone, and I think I might feel a little bit different today. Gino's been playing GTA4 all morning, and I'm not feeling the normal fury that I do feel when he plays. So, we just might be having some progress here.

I don't want to get irritated with everyone the way I have been. I want the patience that my family deserves, and I hope that we all see a difference in me soon. If these progesterone pills don't change the way I've been, then I'm probably going to have to make the decision to take out the Mirena IUD. I'd hate to do that, because at this point I don't want to be prone to having any more kids. I'm not very good at taking other forms of birth control, and an oops baby just wouldn't work.

I think today I might need to do some major scripture reading and prayer. Going to church always makes me feel so much better, but since we don't have that today I need to do some personal scripture study. That probably means that the BOM blog will be updated today.