Quick Check In

I got a few emails checking in on me so I thought I'd do a quick post letting you all know I'm okay :) I have taken a blog break this past week, which was much needed. There will be no Just a Motivating Monday this week again, but will resume next Monday. I should be back with a post all about Jayden's baptism early this upcoming week. Now I'm off to my in-laws for the weekend ~ (WE HAVE A HOUSE SITTER IF YOU THINK THIS IS A GREAT OPPORTUNITY TO ROB THE GARIBAYS).

She Takes My Breath Away

His First Meeting with Bishop

The first part of this post really isn't my Pour Your Heart Out ~ it's more towards the end.  I originally didn't write this post as a Pour Your Heart Out post, but realized that towards the end that's kinda what I did :)  

We've set the baptism date {this Saturday, 5:00pm LDS church in Ashland on Clay Street} So, if you didn't know about it, now you know about it. You can consider this your invitation :)


A picture of my favorite LDS Temple in SLC ~ Jayden loved going to this temple

Today Jayden had to go talk with the Bishop like every member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints gets to do before baptism. When we set the appointment I thought to myself... 'Uh oh! Does Jayden even know what he's doing?! Why he's getting baptized?! What the heck this all means?!' So, we sat down to ask him a few questions to see how much he knew. Even though he goes to church, loves Jesus, loves God knows that the Holy Ghost is a good thing and not a creepy thing.... he really didn't have a clue.

I've tried to explain it to the best of my abilities, and I was very pleased today when he got out of his appointment with the Bishop that Bishop said... "He did great! Answered all the questions I had right." THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU! I really didn't think he was paying attention to the things I was telling him.

I'm so excited for my handsome, little man.

I look at our lives 5 years ago, when Jayden was only 3 and wow, what a difference. I never would have thought in a million years we'd be where we are at in our lives. I never thought in a million years I'd be back at church let alone bringing my entire family with me. I never thought I'd be planning my son's baptism. 5 years is a HUGE difference. 5 years ago my marriage was on the rocks, 5 years ago I never thought my family would last.... and now look at us. It makes me smile and makes feel so proud of US, because we did this together ~ and it makes me borderline emotional to think about it.  I think that we have the church to thank for where we are at in our lives right now, because it gave us the missing piece in our lives that we never knew we were missing.  It's really funny how that can happen, how you can discover that when you thought your life was complete it really wasn't.  Just another interesting little weirdness about life.

Precious Alana has left ~ Psycho Blog Stalkers... hope you enjoy!

Hello stalkers welcome to the stalker club, because sadly I have many. And yes, I did know that you people were coming to my blog ~ just like I know that Alana's brother's mom is STILL coming here and reading about my life, which is a little creepy.  BUT I really hope you share with Carina all of the things I have written, because THEY ARE THE TRUTH.  Carina knows I love her and would do anything for her and Alana, but I SPEAK THE TRUTH IT'S WHAT I DO ~ AND SOMETIMES THE TRUTH HURTS LIKE HELL.  


Since that has been addressed.....


There are many things in life that unfortunately we can't control. I know this, and in my family I'm known among them all as the one who likes to always have things in control and I take situations and make them mine. I don't know why I do this, maybe it's the mother hen {thank you, Kandi, for this word.. I use it often lol} in me, but I feel like everybody's problems are my problems ~ therefore I attempt to solve them.

I don't care who's reading this blog.  I don't care if my niece Alana's "other" family reads it {since creepily they do}, because I never lie on here, I only tell life how it is.  Sorry that it's not a pleasant thing.  I'm sorry that my niece has had to live a life of being tossed here tossed there.  I'm sorry I was giving her a very good life.  

She woke up everyday happy, and layed in bed next to her cousin as they read books.  They'd eat their breakfast, and play and go next door to their BFF's house.  If we didn't play at home we played at other places, fun kid places.  She lived a life of laughter, smiles & happiness.  She took a nap at the same time every day.  She ate her vegetables, but knew that she had to say her prayers before eating those vegetables.  She had fun bath time with her cousin and sometimes with her BFF too.  They were 3 peas in a pod those girls. Nighttime she loved to get in HER princess toddler bed.  She loved it.

I know that her mom was not happy about what she had to do.  I know deep down that her mom knows she's better off here than anywhere else.... FOR NOW.  I say for now, because every child needs their mama, but every child needs their mama when they're on the right track.... putting what's important first.  I know her mom was tricked into even coming up here, and I wish she had a spine to tell them all what she thinks, and how she knew {because she's told me over and over} that that Alana is safe and happy HERE.

Do I think Alana's going to be safe?  Not too sure on that.  If her mom is taking her to her "grandma's" house then kindof.  I know that her mom leaves her during the day w/one of the drug addict psycho men that were creeping around my house last week.  I don't think that's very safe.  If she stays with her mom, then we have her with her mom who is struggling really bad right now.  I wish she'd get help so she can be a mom to Alana. Alana needs structure, Alana needs to know that she isn't going to be ripped from here, tossed to there, and that the bed she lays in at night will be the same bed she wakes up to in the morning.  She needs what we gave her.  I wish more than anything it was something that her mom could give her, but right now ~ she can't.

I'm extremely grateful tonight that my children have structure, stability, and security.  I'm extremely grateful that even though I'm far from perfect, that they have a good mom.  It's funny that at times I really do stop and question if I'm that good of a mom.  Then I think about all of the things I've given my children.  Structure, stability, security, the gospel, God, love, 2 parents, and lots and lots of laughter.  I'm a good mom.  I need to remember that when I'm thinking otherwise. 

I could go on and on, but I won't.  My heart is sad, my home definitely feels like something is missing, and believe it or not ~ I feel SO bad for Carina, Alana's mom.  I couldn't imagine being in a situation where first off I go almost 2 months without seeing my daughter, and then I have people pulling the strings in my own life.  One thing about me is I do what I know is right and good for my kids, my family and myself.  She's not in a place in her life that she can do this, and that makes me so sad.  Alana had a picture that she carried with her and even slept with of her mom and dad when her mom was pregnant with her.  It broke my heart, because she looked so happy, so healthy.  I wish she could find her way back there for Alana's sake.  Alana needs her mom to be happy & healthy, so that in turn Alana can be happy & healthy.  I've known Carina for a long time, and she's like a little sister to me.  I've always been here for her, and wish I could make all of her problems disappear ~ but I can't.  

So, tonight, it's all in God's hands.  Not only does Alana need your prayers, but it wouldn't hurt to give Carina your prayers as well.  And my Ella needs prayers.  She's sad.  She lost her best friend, her cousin.  Tomorrow will be a hard day for her, but mommy will make sure that she has a good one.  Because I'm THAT kind of mom.  

Just a Motivating Monday - Quote by Julie Beck

If you're just joining in:
-Write a blog post about ANYTHING at all that inspires you, or something you feel will inspire others. 

-Please link back to Garibay Soup 

-Please snag my Just a Motivating button on your post.

-I hope that we can all go and visit each other's blogs and read what everyone has linked up ~ I hope that this carnival can bring more traffic for you :) So, spread the comment love!

"A good woman knows that she does not have enough time, energy, or opportunity to take care of all of the people or do all of the worthy things her heart yearns to do. Life is not calm for most women, and each day seems to require the accomplishment of a million things, most of which are important. A good woman must constantly resist alluring and deceptive messages from many sources telling her that she is entitled to more time away from her responsibilities and that she deserves a life of greater ease and independence. But with personal revelation, she can prioritize correctly and navigate this life confidently."

A powerful quote by Sister Julie Beck that really touched home with me.  I just wanted to leave this simple for you to reflect on your own.  If you'd like to read her talk in its entirety {CLICK HERE}

Ultimate Blog Party 2010!!!

I LOVE PARTIES!!!!! And there's no better party than the Ultimate Blog Party hosted by 5 Minutes for Mom.  Sorry for the novel below, I just want you to get to know ME.  


To start out my name is Amanda and you can find me over at Twitter as {@GaribaySoup}

A little about Garibay Soup ~ I just sortof lay it all out on the line here. I blog about personal things, matters of faith, marriage, food, BASICALLY LIFE! I originally started this blog as a way to keep my family updated since we moved away from ALL OF THEM. Now, this blog has nothing to do with them and everything to do with ME. This is my place, my corner in the web. Readers or not, I will always be here ~ but I really really really LOVE all of my readers!

Mondays are an extremely exciting day for me here at Garibay Soup as I host my very own carnival called Just a Motivating Monday. I am an inspiration junkie. I LOVE anything at all that will inspire me, and I love to share inspiring things with my readers. So every Monday you can count on reading something that will inspire you over here at Garibay Soup.  And if you'd like to write a post, or share a quote you can join in!  For previous Just a Motivating Monday's {CLICK HERE}

A little about my family ~ I have been married for going on 6 years next month to my best friend.  Our marriage is by no means perfect, but we do EVERYTHING in our power to never give up.  We have survived things that people get divorced over, and because we stuck through the hard times, we are reaping the benefits now.  I love to blog about marriage and read other's posts about marriage.  Marriage to me is the most sacred and wonderful union and I strive to make my marriage perfect ~ as in OUR perfect.

We have 2 beautiful children ~ an 8 year old Son, Jayden & a 2 year old daughter, Ella.  Jayden is my shining star and has one of the sweetest souls that anyone who has ever met has come in contact with.  He has Sensory Processing Disorder and we're in the process of all the diagnosis stuff.  Ella is our vibrant h3ll raiser princess who has completely changed my life.  She has taught me about the importance of life and how precious life is.  She was diagnosed with a heart condition called Wolfe Parkinson White Syndrome when she was 7 weeks old, and a month before she turned 2 she overdosed on her heart medication..... scariest moment of my life.  I thank God every day that she's still here with us and growing into the beautiful little girl that she is.  You can read more about her heart condition and about her overdose {HERE}

ME... you want to know about me???  I'm a child of God, and every day my faith in the Church of {Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints} grows stronger and stronger.  I am not perfect, but I strive to be.  I am obsessed with self help/self motivating books that better who I am as a person.  This is something new to me, but I love who I am turning into.  I am the type of friend that once you are my friend I would move mountains for you, but it takes me a while to let people too close to my heart.  I LOVE the blog world, because there's always somebody that can relate to you and I have by far found the most amazing support system I've ever had.  I love photography and have another blog for my photography journey you can see that {HERE}  My family means more to me than anything in this world, and at the end of the day the only thing that matters is them and their safety, happiness and love.  


If you come over unannounced to my house, there's going to be toys scattered from wall to wall and you might see a few crumbs on the floor ~ but we are one of the happiest families out there.  And to me, that's all that matters. 

I work at home.  I am so so so fortunate to be a part of a company where I get paid when people pay their cell phone bills, their cable bills, their internet bills, their home phone bills, and I get to offer them breakthrough VOIP Video phone technology that is AWESOME!  Oh, did I mention that this year I'll be getting paid every, single time people pay their power bill???  And my friends and family love me to absolute death because I save them $$$ on all of these services ~ we ALL love to save money, right?  Yes, I am very fortunate.  If you're curious let me know and I'll give you more details.

I hope you enjoy your look around and I can't wait to come and check out your blog!!

And if you aren't a part of the party you absolutely SHOULD BE!  There's some amazing prizes and my most favorite top prizes are 1. Toshiba Satellite L505D-ES5025  2. A Rocking Horse To Love  and then everything else they have to offer is AMAZING!!!  I'd be thrilled winning about ANYTHING. 

A Scary Night

The prior two blog posts before this one were removed for the majority of today. I wasn't sure who was reading my blog, and things got extremely CRAZY and scary regarding the situation with my niece Alana that I felt that I had to remove the posts until her fate was secure.

My last post towards the end said... I never truly know what I'm going to wake up to. That statement couldn't have been more true.

I woke up in the middle of the night to men creeping around my house. Men that drove 5 hours to come and take my niece from me.... and I was home alone. And scared out of my mind. THANK GOD I have the most amazing neighbor in the entire world that informed me about this and stayed on the phone with me until my husband got home {unfortunately right now he works late}. Cops were called {they didn't see them or catch them} and we didn't sleep well ~ my husband sat up on the couch with one eye open... all night long.  I don't know what their intentions were in the middle of the night, but I can assure you they weren't good.  Why in the world they would drive 5 hours after I told them there is no way I would hand my niece over to them ESPECIALLY without her mom's permission.... and talking with my niece's mom and hearing her concerns about her brother & mother's intentions.  

People... I was scared.  I had never in my entire life felt my heart pound as hard as it was pounding.

In the morning they finally decided to approach our home again and knock this time.  I shuffled the girls into a hiding place and we were not answering the door.  Then they called, and I answered.  I threatened to call the police, and they left.  They figured they'd try to call the police and get Alana that way.

Didn't work.  The cops told them they need to leave as Alana will not be taken out of my home unless her mother who at this point has full rights takes her out.  Thank you, God.

She's still here, she's still safe.  

An Update for my 2nd Glass of Pour your Heart Out

I SERIOUSLY never know what to expect with the situation with my niece and her mother. If you haven't read {THIS} post yet, you should.  This is an update to my post for 

The original plan was that my niece's mother was leaving Sacramento yesterday at 7pm to drive 5 hours, in the snow to pick up Alana. Then after she picks her toddler up and disturbs my family in the middle of the night, she then was planning on traveling back to Sacramento, in the snow, with her toddler. Needless to say, I was frustrated and upset.

Then I get a phone call from her saying that she's going to instead be leaving at 2pm today. Then I get a message left on my voicemail from her brother saying they'll be leaving around 2 and will be arriving here around 7. Whatever.

Oh, that's when things change. This morning I could tell her mom had been partying all night and now she's having issues with her family and has canceled the entire thing. So, now after I have prepared Alana for her mom coming to get her she has changed her mind.  Alana was expecting her mom, and I am relieved.

Her brother most definitely had not changed his plans, because I received a call from him letting me know he's running late.  I had to inform him that I most definitely will not be handing Alana over to ANYBODY except for her own mother, and at this point her own mother prefers her to remain here with me.  Thank God.  Did he actually think I would hand over my niece to an absolute stranger {in my eyes}, he obviously doesn't know me and the protective mother hen I am when it comes to my children and any child in my care. 

People.... this is a very, very crazy roller coaster.  I really never truly know what I'm going to wake up to.  So for now we still have her.  For now, she's still safe. 


Believe it or not, there's more {HERE}

Pour Your Heart Out - #2

On Wednesday's Shell {if you click on the image below you will be taken to her awesome blog} has one of my new favorite carnivals ~ and I'm EXTREMELY early in posting this, but tonight was a night that I absolutely had to........

so if you're reading this post and would like to participate in Pour Your Heart Out, Shell will have it up for linkups Wednesday morning.

I have had my niece Alana for 44 days. For 44 days a mother has been putting something before her own child. For 44 days a child has been without her mother. For 44 days I have struggled with trying to give this child normalcy, structure and love. Things I don't think she's seen very often, because unfortunately most of her life has been spent being tossed here, being tossed there.

I'm writing this after I received the phone call that after 44 days her mom will be coming tomorrow to get her. She's done with her party {for the time being} and is ready to play mommy for a while. But how long will it last? This is the part of taking a child into your home that's the hardest.

I HAVE to put this in God's hands and know that there is nothing I can do at this point. This child unfortunately was born to a girl who should have never been given the blessing of a child. She has no clue what honor it is to be able to love and teach your child. She has no clue what being a mom is all about. To her, when she's tired of playing the responsible role, she just tosses her to the next willing person that will take her in. I'm sad to say that unless rights are going to be signed over to me I will not be this person anymore. I can't be. It's too unstable for her and my family. My children get close and attached and then have to have her ripped from them. 44 days is a very long time in they eyes of a child. Bonds have been made.

I now have to worry about my daughter and how she's going to feel that a member of our family who has become a huge part of our life is ripped from her. Jayden is old enough that he understands that Alana was not here on a permanent basis, but my 2 1/2 year old doesn't. As much as they fought, they got along. Ella will be getting more one on one attention with me, but what about her constant play mate? I've tried to be strong and put a wall around my heart, but tonight I'm sad. I'm sad of what's to come of this precious little girl's life. I'm sad that I didn't fight harder for her. I'm sad that she's leaving the one place in her life that actually had a family feel. Not just a mom, but a dad, a brother, a sister... although we were just aunt, uncle & cousins... but it's the feeling I'm talking about. She got to experience going to church, praying before meals, getting tucked in at night. She got to experience love. And I'm sad to say that what she comes from doesn't shower her with love. Any mom that ever puts drugs and men before their own child doesn't know about being a mom.  

I wish I could give Alana the life she deserves, but for now it's not in my hands.  All I can do is put it into God's.


UPDATE TO THIS CAN BE READ {HERE}

Just a Motivating Monday - Quotes from LDS Conference

If you're just joining in:
-Write a blog post about ANYTHING at all that inspires you, or something you feel will inspire others. 

-Please link back to Garibay Soup 

-Please snag my Just a Motivating button on your post.

-I hope that we can all go and visit each other's blogs and read what everyone has linked up ~ I hope that this carnival can bring more traffic for you :) So, spread the comment love!

It's hard to put into words what I experienced this weekend. One thing I wanted to do for Just a Motivating Monday is share some very heart touching quotes that came from the semi-annual conference that the members of the LDS church get to experience.

This weekend the conference seemed to be based on families, parenting, motherhood. Things that I feel I personally needed to be strengthened on. The words that were spoken this weekend spoke straight into my heart.

"The most important work you will ever do are within the walls of your own home." ~Elder Ballard

"Hold your tongues about things that don't matter." 

 ~Elder Ballard

The two above quotes by Elder Ballard really touched me.  How many of us sometimes put what's in our home 2nd?  I as a mother needed to hear this ~ what work we put into our families is the most important, and I need to put more effort into ensuring that we are all growing spiritually together.  In this life NOTHING should ever be more important than your family, and passing on your faith, wisdom, and knowledge to your children so they can take that with them throughout their lives.  It is our divine responsibility to teach our children about Jesus, and the gospel.

The 2nd quote ~ There are so many things that don't matter, so why do I even talk about them?  This quote I REALLY needed to hear, and am so thankful that I did.

"Every person we meet is a VIP to our Heavenly Father."

 ~ President Uchtdorf

"A tattered & worn $20 bill is still worth $20.00. ~ I am beat, worn, torn & crumpled, but I still have worth." 

~ President Uchtdorf

"We can speak of love all day long, but until we manifest that love into action, our words are nothing."

 ~President Uchtdorf

"Jesus talked the talk and walked the walk, but he walked louder than he talked." 

~ President Uchtdorf 

President Uchtdorf is one of my most favorite talkers.  I am always pleased at every talk he has given and was definitely not disappointed this time as well.  He put in beautiful words how we should love everyone.  I think the $20.00 bill analogy was PERFECT.  We've all been worn and torn but we all still have worth, and to God we are ALL His children and he loves us all.  Something I thought long and hard is how would you feel if someone was mean one of your children?  It hurts you, right?  I think that's how Heavenly Father feels when we are mean to His children, because that's what everybody is.  We are all important to Him.

I hope this inspired you this Monday to realize that first and foremost, our homes are the center of everything. We need to strengthen our families, and teach our children the things we want them to take into the world with them as they grow.  In my case, it's the gospel of Jesus Christ.  To you, it might be different, but it's our duty as parents to teach our children.  

I also hope that these quotes have inspired you to love others.  After I watched this conference I realized that there are many people that I stress about and have done so much wrong to me and I've realized they are the ones that need my prayers and love the most.   

There are so many more quotes and heart touching things that were spoken during the conference and if you would like to hear these talks you can do so {HERE}

Did you already hear the talks?  What was one of your favorite quotes?

Easter with a Wedding

This is our 2nd Easter having Alana with us. Last year was so much fun and the kids looked absolutely adorable. We headed to California and went to Grandma & Grandpa's house for some easter fun!

This year we're doing the same thing. Tomorrow we're packing up and heading to California to go spend Easter with my in-laws. It's honestly the best place to go for holidays. We have the family feel, and the kids love them. So I'm excited!

This year Jayden is 8 and he still believes in the Easter Bunny. I try to grasp to these little things, because they still show that he's a kid. While he might be growing up, he's still not grown.

Saturday we'll be heading to a wedding though. Gino's cousin is getting married and they asked me to be the photographer. I declined and declined again until I finally agreed. They really need somebody and have no problem being my guinea pig for a wedding. I'm nervous as all heck, but excited too. It will be a fun experience ~ and I've always wanted to take pictures of a bride.


So, I hope that everybody has a very Happy Easter!!