I'VE MOVED!

Garibay Soup is being retired. All of my posts and comments and pictures and everything.... including from my photography blog have been moved to:


www.EnchantingHavoc.com


When I lost my domain name garibaysoup.com I thought, well, this is the perfect time for me to pack up and move on over to Wordpress and give myself a makeover... and a new name!


So, if you find yourself still arriving over here at Garibay Soup it's time to change that bookmark and go check out the new blog where all the excitement is happening. And I hope you enjoy :)

Blog Update

Working on a few things with the blog and won't be posting in the meantime. So 30 Days of Truth will resume soon and Just a Motivating Monday will be back consistently next Monday!

An exciting change is happening can't wait to announce it :)

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 8

Day 8 ~ Someone who has made my life hell or treated me like crap

Throughout my life I've had my fair share of people who have treated me like crap. The thing is they have never made my life hell. Allowing somebody to have the power to do that to YOUR life is just unimaginable, so the only person to blame for my life ever feeling like hell is myself.

Now treating me like crap ~ that one special someone is hands down my “sister”. It’s really unfortunate that she hasn’t grown up yet, and has extreme immature issues. She lives her life being evil, acting childish, and making people who actually care about her feel like CRAP. She doesn’t have this effect on me anymore, and never will. But there have been many times in my life, that with her vindictive ways she’s made me feel like crap, but I don’t blame her. I blame myself for allowing her to have that effect on me.

I guess in a way I should thank her, because she has helped me discover how not to be effected by hateful people. I try very hard to not live with hate in my heart, and she’s a prime example of what I don’t want to be. So, thank you, Jessica ~ and for the record, when you grow up and have ceased in your childish games I’ll be here. But you will never hurt me again.

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 7

Day 7 ~ Someone who has made your life worth living for

I can’t just choose a “someone” because what has made my life worth living for is my family as a unit. This includes my children and my husband. They are my purpose in everything that I do, and without them I don’t know where I’d be in my life.

My husband is my rock. He’s been the single most stable thing I’ve ever had in my life. He has been through literally my lowest low and my highest high. I might not make it clear how much I appreciate him on a daily basis, but I do. Without him I wouldn't be the me that I've grown to love. He is definitely worth living for. He's my best friend.

My children complete who I am as a person. They have taught me how to be unselfish, and have given me what I believe is my purpose on this earth. I’m sure that Heavenly Father has other reasons for me, but right now…. My life is for them. I'm determined to be the mom that they deserve, and that they are taught all of the values and morals in this life that will make them good people.... and that to me is worth living for. Their smiles are worth living for. Their sweet souls are worth living for.

My family is worth living for.

DON'T MIND THE MESS!

TONIGHT I'LL BE WORKING ON LITTLE ODDS AND ENDS DOING A REMODEL OVER HERE AT GARIBAY SOUP ~ PLEASE DON'T MIND THE MESS WHILE YOU VISIT :)

30 Days of Truth ~ Days 5 & 6

These are short little snippit posts, so I decided to combine 2 days into 1

Day 5 ~ Something you hope to do in your life

I say hope, but this is achievable and I WILL get there, and I WILL make it happened. In my life I want to be sealed in the LDS temple to my family.

Day 6 ~ Something you hope you never have to do

Bury one of my children. That is a pain I don’t think I could bear, and I pray that I never have to feel what it’s like. It’s a subject I can’t even elaborate on even a tiny bit, because it literally makes me want to sit here and cry.

Mommy Guilt Sucks

This little guy used to be the center of my world entirely.... him and him only. He was the only baby in our family. My brother and sister hadn’t had children yet and the next baby in the family {my nephew} didn’t come until Jayden was 5. That’s 5 years of being spoiled by not only his mom & dad but my mom, my brother, and my husband’s family.

When he was 6 the next baby of the family came and that baby came directly to our little family. Miss Ella Bella.

I love how my family is growing, honestly I do ~ and the fact that we’re adding yet another to our family is beyond exciting. But my little man just keeps growing up, and our family just keeps growing. I can’t help but worry is he getting lost in the shuffle? Ever since Ella was born a lot of attention has been put on her, because of her heart. I hope I’ve never made Jayden feel like he wasn't special or important, because he is still my everything. He is still and always be my first born, and he will always be the center of my world…. This little man changed my life for the better the minute I felt him move inside me.

I think that I need to do more things with just him so that he feels special.

Now to elaborate a little more on this….

Jayden’s growing up. He’s going to be 9 in a month and he’s much more independent than his 3 year old little sister. When I’m home she literally consumes me. Ella and I have spent the last 3 years together day in and day out. She’s venturing into being little miss independent and she needs constant supervision. And now there’s going to be a newborn in a few months ~ and I’m terrified that Jayden is going to not feel important…. And I need to make sure that this doesn’t happen! I need to make sure that everyday I am making him feel special and important in some way…. And that he gets alone time with me w/no other children getting in the way.

To top all of this off, tonight as I'm frustrated and trying to get Ella to bed and my frustrations were apparently showing, Jayden says to me, "Geez! What did I ever do to you? Why do you keep yelling at me?"

*GASP* was I yelling? I didn't even realize I was yelling. I knew I felt frustrated, but in no way shape or form was it towards him. I had to grab him, hug him and apologize right then and there, because I deserved the BAD MOM award for that one.

Am I alone in feeling like this with my children?

Welcome to another week of me pouring my heart out.

Hokie Pokie & First Kiss... CUTE Videos

Just because Ella is just plain out cute ~ here are my 2 most favorite recent videos of her ~

This one she's doing by far the best version of the hokie pokie

and in this one she's singing Kesha & 3 Oh! 3's First Kiss song.... absolutely adorable!

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 4

Day 4 Something you have to forgive someone for

I don’t have a dad. I have a man that lives 7 miles away from me and doesn’t give a rat’s ass that I exist and is referred to as my sperm donor. This man is honestly a waste of space in my honest opinion and I know that I have hatred deep down inside for him not caring about me.

Probably the best thing he ever did was get fixed, because he has 4 daughters on this earth with 4 different women. The only daughter that really truly means anything to him is his youngest. The only one I don’t have a relationship with, because I don’t know her.

I need to forgive him in my heart for never being there for me in my life. I need to forgive him in my heart for not making me feel like I ever mattered…. I’ve always come last and now my kids do as well.

I do not want a relationship with this man. I don’t want my children to know him….. ever. I do need to forgive him and hold no more grudges. I need to do that, because that is right thing to do and if I want to ever be forgiven for the things I have done on this earth I need to forgive everybody ~ including my sperm donor.

Forgiveness does not mean that I am inviting him back into my life, because I have made the decision that I can’t have him as an alcoholic around my family. I cannot have him being so unstable around my family ~ my children deserve better than that and they should never feel like they are not important. And that’s what that man does.

I’ve got a lot of prayin’ to do about this, because forgiveness does not come easy.

Dear Old Followers.... I miss you ~ but you can follow again!

Lately I think I’m pretty much blogging for my eyes only. I have lots going on in this brain of mine too, because I spend a lot and I mean 7 HOURS of alone time a day. You can only imagine that things I’m cooking up in my brain. Unfortunately, since garibaysoup.com is not mine and all of my followers {and comments} are on that domain I pretty much don’t think I have any readers.....

and I MISS ALL OF MY READERS!

BUT that’s not stopping me. I’m determined to get my domain back and was REALLY close, but now the people I have to talk to suck at getting back to you. So, I’m sortof at a stand still…. Yet I’m still blogging. So, I took off my old follow gadget off, which had all of my followers from Garibaysoup.com and now we’re at a good ol’ fresh ZERO followers….. but at least now anybody new that shows up over here can FOLLOW until I get my stupid domain situation fixed.

Seriously…. Don’t EVER EVER EVER let your domain lapse ~ whatever you do!

SO ~ if you like coming here or used to follow me before you can join again. So you won’t miss any of the oh so exciting stuff I have going on…. Like the 30 Days of Truth.

My Birthday Princess ~ She's 3!

There's something I love about this little girl that I can't even begin to put into words. These past 3 years have been overwhelmingly perfect. The moment that I looked into her eyes I knew that I would love her and she would always be my little friend. I knew that she would fit perfect in our crazy, dysfunctional family....

and she does. She fit right in like a little puzzle piece. Watching her grow into the little girl that she's growing into has been pure delight. She's all girl, but can definitely take her brother down to the ground. She loves to do her makeup, paint her nails, and play with her best friend, Ruthie. She'd rather dig in the dirt than play with her toys, and I still can get her to snuggle with her mama.

She's everything I've dreamed of and more.

She's my princess, and she's made these past 3 years of my life amazing.

Dear Ella,

As I watch you grow into a little girl from a baby I find myself wanting to be even closer to you. I soak up every second and love to breathe you in as we snuggle. I know that these days where you're my little girl won't be here for long. Soon I'll no longer be the best part of your day, but just your mom. I want to treasure these moments that I have with you forever, because you'll never know how much they mean to me.

I love your personality. I love how your eyes literally light up when you are excited. I love how much you love your family, how much you look up to your brother, and your love for church. You are my little best friend, Ella, and I as you grow and get older I want to make sure that you always know that I'll always be your Mama and you will always be my baby girl.

Love, Mama.

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 3

Something you have to forgive YOURSELF for

I left the medicine without a childproof cap on the counter. 

I left the medicine on the counter that almost took my daughter's life a little over a year ago on the flipping counter.

Why didn't I put it up high where she had no access to it? 

I still have days where I look at her and just have to grab her and hug her and thank God for not taking her from me.  I still have days where I think about the look that was on her face when I thought she was dead and I can't help but cry. 

I almost killed my daughter by a very scary mistake.  And I hold this horrible pain and guilt inside of me because of it.  I try to look at the beautiful blessing that she's here with us, she's beautiful, she's thriving, she's growing, and she's not effected by this mistake in any way.... but there was a good 5 minutes of my life that I thought my daughter was dead.  There was a moment in my life where I heard codes being called on her in the hospital and doctors and nurses rushing in ~ and all I could do was drop my head and pray like I have NEVER prayed in my entire life.  In my head she was gone... and I truly didn't know how I was going to go on.  I didn't know how I was going to get out of bed every day.  I didn't know how I was going to go on without seeing her beautiful smile that literally melts every ounce of my soul.

How could I survive without this face

I have to forgive myself for this. I have to take it as a lesson learned that they do climb, and all it takes is literally 2 seconds of your back being turned for a life altering disaster to happen.

TO READ THE POST I WROTE WHEN THIS HAPPENED{CLICK HERE}

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 2

Something you love about yourself ~

Everybody on this earth has had a screwed up childhood in some way or another. Mine consisted of an extreme amount of unstableness, and a whole lot of other crap that I could dwell on for the rest of my life.... which of course would only cause my future to be as ridiculous as my past.

What I love is that I honestly don't care. I can forget about whatever has happened to me in the past and focus on my present and my future. I don't allow my childhood or my past to shape who I am today. I make the choice on whether I want things to effect me in a positive or negative way, and which way do you think I choose? Um.... basically I'm choosing happiness and success over dwelling, hatred and self pity.

And it feels good.

And I love this about me that I can CHOOSE to not allow my childhood or my past to effect who I am now.

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 1

Some extremely awesome and amazing bloggers are doing this thing called 30 Days of Truth.... and I love the idea, so I'm jumping aboard.

Day 1 ~ Something I Hate About Myself

Lordy ~ I've pondered this one for a while now. I ended up deciding not to go with something physical and do something on the inside.... something I hate about myself, but something I most definitely can fix, but until I face the music and admit to thing I hate about myself I'll never fix it.

I am the queen of screwing myself over. I for some weird and extremely strange reason put things off until sometimes it's too late. Okay, I said it! That feels a tad bit better.

I guess you can call it procrastination.  I do tend to procrastinate a tad and probably get this from my mother, because she is QUEEN of procrastination.

Here's what I don't get..... why don't I just do things right away and be done with them so I don't have to WORRY about them.  Worrying is something I hate to do, so while I tend to procrastinate, I in turn make myself worry and I hate this about myself!

I've tried to just take care of things as soon as they enter my mind, and it's going to be a while of trying to practice this new life bettering idea before I make it a habit.  But I hate that I do this to my life.  I don't want to procrastinate anymore! 

List of Randoms

Randoms ~ things going through my mind

~ I have become completely obsessed with cleaning out my garage. I think about it all day while I’m at work and every box I empty out I seriously feel like doing a happy dance.

~Once the garage is completely cleaned out I have plans on making a super awesome playroom since baby #3 will mean less room.

~I have found things while cleaning out my garage that are priceless and things I thought were lost…. Mya’s u/s picture. This might sound morbid, but I really wish that they would have printed out an u/s picture when we discovered that she had passed away. I wonder if it’s in my charts that the Sacramento office sent over to my Medford OBGYN. I just might ask. The u/s picture I found was from our first appt. There’s just a little sac, but she was in it and that is something I always want to treasure.

~Now that I’ve found her u/s picture I want to create a shadow box in remembrance of her. And get another urn necklace made w/the remainder of her ashes to put inside of it. I am so relieved that we still have ashes since Ella flushed my original urn necklace down the toilet…. That was a sad, sad day.

~I’ve also found my mother’s Book of Mormon from when she was a little girl. That to me is a priceless treasure.

~My daughter is turning 3 on Saturday. She’s overwhelmingly excited for her party on Saturday and I’m overwhelmingly excited for her! She’s anticipated this day for a VERY long time.

~I’m on my 3rd week of work. I’m surviving and I actually kind of enjoy it. The break from the house was probably much needed, especially with a new baby on the way…. But my heart definitely misses my kids.

~I had a prenatal appointment yesterday. Very uneventful, but those are the best in my opinion. I was in and out and won’t be back for another 4 weeks. Baby’s heartbeat was beautiful. On Sunday I will be 6 months pregnant! It’s flying by! Still have no morning sickness and have been feeling absolutely wonderful. About dang time!

Just a Motivating Monday ~ a marriage post

**Just a Motivating Monday Button will be uploaded later**

If you're just joining in:

I LOVE inspiring things to motivate me and I thought what better of a day to read inspiration than on dreadful Mondays. If you would like to write something you think will inspire or motivate others PLEASE link up!! I'd love to read your words and I'm sure that other's would as well!

Editing to add that I am submitting this in for my Pour Your Heart Out post for the week.

 
Lately there have been some things happening in a marriage to a couple I know, not close with, but I know them. I know the details of their marriage through an individual who is close with me and close with them. {can’t give details on who it is exactly for their privacy}

Their marriage is in utter turmoil. A girl has entered into the man’s life, a girl who has no respect for family or marriage, and this man is willing to just throw away his MARRIAGE over some young girl who will walk away from him when the drama of his wife finding out starts. For now they’re just both enjoying the excitement of LUST nothing more than just that. While they’re enjoying this, there’s a wife at home with a baby that has no idea.

No idea that the man who is supposed to stick with her through thick and thin, for better for worse is planning to end their marriage over a girl that it is in my best interest to not describe my opinion of her, because I am better than that. 

When learning of the events going on currently in this marriage I can’t help but feel sad. I haven’t always been an advocate of making your marriage work. My marriage by no means has ever been perfect ~ in fact we’ve had problems in the past that would make your head spin and most people run to the family courts for divorce papers.

But we’re here.

We’re happy.

We’re not perfect, but we know that our marriage matters. We know that our children matter. We know that there is no force out there that can interfere with our happiness. Period. There is nothing too big that we can’t talk and work through. Resorting outside of our marriage is not an option. Period.

These people are not friends of mine, and I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much, but it is. It’s made me reflect A LOT on marriage and has me very grateful for mine and the small problems it contains.

My heart aches for his wife. I’m sure she’s not perfect in her marriage, probably has taken him for granted for the most part, but all it takes is a little communication. TALK! If you’re having issues in your marriage roll up your sleeves and get to work on it. Don’t be a coward and go find the first young home wrecker and destroy your family.

At the end of the day…. Your immediate family is ALL YOU HAVE. Friends come and go, extended family even comes and goes, LUST comes and goes…. It’s what is under your roof that will love you unconditionally, be there for you when you need it the most. So, doesn’t that deserve the most devotion and work from you?

I'm posting this as my Just a Motivating Monday post because for some reason this situation is motivating me in a weird way to pay extra special attention to my marriage.  It's making me think A LOT on what's important in life, in family, in marriage, in parenting ~ a whole mess of thoughts are going on through my mind. 

Who would've thought?!

Who would have thought that in order for me to just get some major things done at my house all I'd need to do is just go and get a JOB! I have no idea what in the world my deal has been at home these past 3 years, but ever since I've been OUT OF THE HOUSE I'm doing more IN THE HOUSE.


This weekend I did some major transformations in my garage. I found things that made me oooooo and ahhhh and things my friend who was in there with me wanted to hit me over the head with for not having up in my home. But I'm finally organizing MAJORLY and I think I'm even ready to bust out some paint and have this home of our's {well, sortof since we don't own it} the way I envision it.


I need to remember after this working thing I'm doing is over that I MUST stick to a schedule.  I MUST take advantage of all the time I will have at home to ensure that my home looks how I want it.... to make my home the haven it should be for my family.

Working Mom, Turned Stay at Home Mom, Turned Working Mom

For so many years ~ 5 years, 7 months I was a working mom. I was fortunate enough to be able to bring Jayden to work with me for the 1st year of his life, but after that.... I left him. EVERY, SINGLE DAY... MONDAY-FRIDAY. This changed in 2007 and I was so blessed to be able to become a work at home mom.

I have never had to leave Ella in the care of somebody else. I can't even begin to describe what that means to me.

But here I am after 3 years & 4 months I am back to work.  It's completely a temporary thing, and luckily Gino and I have opposite schedules, so they kids don't have to go into anybody else's care... but, I am feeling extremely bugged about it tonight.

I get home at 3:20pm, and since I've started working Ella has stopped napping.  You can tell when Ella is tired because she starts going into destruction mode then it's get to the point where you can't help but be completely irritated and it's not good.... because it starts when I get home.  So, here I am missing out on the majority of the day with her and I get home and it's not enjoyable.  I look at the clock longing for bedtime... 

and I officially feel like the worst mother EVER.  I hope I tomorrow is better, I hope that she's not exhausted and I'm not exhausted. 

Dear November.... I can't wait til you get here. 

I can't wait til I can wake up in the morning to my sweet little girl's sweet smile and laughter.  

I can't wait to sit lazily at the table eating breakfast while we plan what fun events we'll do during the day together.  

I can't wait to not have to miss out on another moment with her, because her days are now filled without me.... and I don't like it.... at all.

I can't wait to just be with Ella, because she's my best friend and I miss her.  

My life was consumed by her, and now it's consumed with paperwork..... and computers.... and lunch breaks.... and silence.  I haven't heard silence in years.  

I used to think I could never be a stay at home mom.  I used to think it took a special someone to do it, and that special someone could NEVER be me.  But you know what, I can't imagine not being a stay at home mom.  I guess that I am that special someone I never thought I could be.  I hope that I can continue to do whatever it takes to ensure that I'm home with my babies... where my heart is.