Dealing With Hate

I've been going through an array of mixed feelings lately, and I'm not sure what to make of them. I'm struggling with my brother, and feel hate, pity, sadness, love and it's frustrating. When I think of him I think of him as a little boy and I shouldn't do that. I think about the time that his dad came to get him when he was only 5 years old (little did I know I wouldn't see him again until he was 12) and he hid in the closet because he didn't want to go.

I need to stop thinking about that little boy hiding in the closet, because he has turned into something that I think is despicable. He moved here in August to get his life together. He's definitely not done that. He managed to get a girl pregnant and now has nothing to do with her, so Gino and I are doing everything we can to help her out, because that is our niece or nephew. Gino and I have had so many conversations about this and it sickens both of us how he can just turn his back on his own flesh and blood because he'd rather have a "FREAKY" girl as he said. When you have 2 kids with 2 different girls, it's time to stop. Stop trying to hustle the world. Stop trying to meet a million girls on myspace.... and then end up with my husband's cousin who is just as ghetto as he is, with 5 kids and lives 10 hours away from here. Real logical. It's time to grow up, get a job, pay child support and have good impact on BOTH of your kid's lives.

I don't like the hateful feelings that I have right now. It bugs me, and I'm trying not to even think about him and his stupidity, but it's hard. The kid lived a hard life and was tossed around and unfortunately, caused him a lot of damage and that's too bad, because now he has kids and that damage will end up effecting them. Such a sick, vicious cycle. Definitely makes me want to do my kids right by giving them a good life, being a good mom and keeping them in church.

I've tried waking up and reading scriptures, or a good Ensign article that will hopefully help me out, and it works, but I'm still struggling. Hate is something that I don't want to have in my heart, and I hope that I can eventually conquer it.

Heck no that doesn't mean that!

I've noticed that I'm kinda gaining a little bit of weight - I just might be bloated because my dreadful ladies day is approaching. I told Gino that I feel like I'm getting fat.

JAYDEN: Mom, that means you're going to have another baby!

ME: No it absolutely does not mean that.

JAYDEN: Let's Check!

Okay... does this child have flashback images of his mom peeing on a million sticks when I was trying to conceive after Mya? I've ruined him.

Over 100 Uses of Household Items

It's Works for Me Wednesday!! And today I'm sharing something that was shared with me and I tucked it away to share with YOU! It's the best list of uses for home items that I've come across yet. So, I hope you all soak it up and that it works for you as well! If you're looking for other things that work for other people head over to ROCKS IN MY DRYER where you'll find HUNDREDS of people telling the bloggy world what works for them.

Alka-Seltzer

1. Clean a toilet. Drop in two Alka-Seltzer tablets, wait 20 minutes, brush and flush.

2. Attract fish. Fill a tube jig with a piece of Alka-Seltzer and cast off.

3. Remove burned food from cookware. Fill your cookware with warm water, then dissolve six tablets and allow to sit for an hour or so.

4. Soothe insect bites. Dissolve two tablets in water and saturate a cloth or cotton ball with the solution, and place on the bite for 30 minutes. Don't do this if you are allergic to aspirin, which is a key ingredient in Alka-Seltzer.

Aluminum foil

6. Sharpen your scissors by cutting through six to eight layers of aluminum foil.

7. Shine rusty chrome. With a bit of water on a wadded-up piece of aluminum foil, you can rub most rust spots off chrome car parts.

8. Keep birds out of your fruit trees. Hang twisted strips of aluminum foil all over your fruit trees using fishing line. The light reflections and the sound will keep birds away from your fruit.

9. Keep the bottom of your fireplace or charcoal grill from becoming encrusted with soot. Line the bottom of your fireplace or grill with aluminum foil before starting a fire, then dispose of the foil after the fire is out and the coals are completely cooled.

10. Eliminate electromagnetic interference if your TV and DVD player are stacked on top of each other. If the picture is fuzzy, place a sheet of aluminum foil between them.

11. Iron more effectively by putting a piece of aluminum foil under the ironing board cover. The foil will reflect the heat from the iron so both sides get ironed at once.

12. Move furniture with ease. To slide big pieces of furniture over a smooth floor, place small pieces of aluminum foil under the legs. Put the dull side of the foil down _ the dull side is actually more slippery than the shiny side.

13. Clean starch build-up from your iron by running a hot iron over a piece of aluminum foil.

Aspirin

14. Remove perspiration stains from white fabric by dissolving two aspirin in half a cup of warm water and applying to stained fabric. Leave for a couple of hours before washing.

15. Eliminate chlorine discoloration from hair by dissolving eight tablets in a glass of water and rubbing into your hair. Leave for about 10 minutes and then rinse. Shampoo.

16. Reduce pimples by making a paste with water and crushed aspirin. Cover the pimple with this paste; rinse after a few minutes.

17. Recharge a car battery by dropping two tablets into the battery itself. The aspirin's acetylsalicylic acid will combine with the battery's sulfuric acid to produce one last charge. Drive to the nearest service station.

Banana peel

18. Polish leather shoes by using a de-stringed banana peel. Finish by buffing with a soft cloth or paper towel.

19. Remove warts by rubbing the inside of a little piece of a banana peel on a wart every night for several weeks.

20. Detract aphids by burying dried or cut-up banana peels a few inches deep around the base of rosebushes.

21. Nourish your skin by mashing a medium-sized banana and combining with \-cup plain yogurt and 2 tablespoons honey to make a facial mask. Leave on 20 minutes.

22. Tenderize a roast by adding a peeled banana to the pan.

23. Wipe your houseplant leaves down with the inside of a banana peel to remove dirt and leave a shine.

24. Rub scraped knees with the inside of a banana peel to promote healing.

Baking soda

25. Extinguish a grease or electrical fire. Scatter the powder by the handful to safely put it out.

26. Clean combs and brushes in a soda solution.

27. Wash glass or stainless steel coffee pots (but not aluminum) in a soda solution (3 tablespoons soda to 1 quart water).

28. Sprinkle soda on barbecue grills, let soak, then rinse off.

29. Sprinkle soda on greasy garage floor. Let stand, scrub and rinse.

30. For a badly burned pan with a thick layer of burned-on food: pour a thick layer of soda directly onto the bottom of the pan, then sprinkle on just enough water so as to moisten the soda. Leave the pot overnight, then scrub it clean the next day.

31. Soak your shower curtains in water and soda to clean them.

32. Sprinkle soda in tennis shoes, socks, boots and slippers to eliminate odor.

33. Repel rain from your car windshield. Put gobs of baking soda on a dampened cloth and wipe windows inside and out.

34. Soak dried beans in a mixture of soda and water to make them more digestible.

35. Freshen your carpet and upholstered furniture. Sprinkle them with baking soda. Allow them to sit undisturbed for a half hour or so. Then vacuum.

36. Eliminate water rings on your finished wood with a paste of baking soda and toothpaste. Dip a soft cloth in the paste and rub the water spots away.

37. Get rid of ants in your house by mixing equal parts of baking soda and salt together. Sprinkle the mixture wherever you see the intruders coming in.

38. Fill in some nail holes in a plastered wall with a paste of white toothpaste and baking soda.

Beer

39. Use beer instead of water in your favorite batter mix, and it will have a delicious flavor. (CAN I JUST SAY EWWWWWW!!!!! WON'T BE DOING THIS ONE - BUT THOUGHT I'D PASS IT ALONG ANYWAY)

40. Soften hair and add body with a beer shampoo. Mix a raw egg together with half a can of beer and massage it into your hair. Rinse and style as usual. Beer also makes an excellent conditioner for hair. Massage a cup of warm beer into your hair and scalp after washing and allow it to set for half an hour or so. Rinse thoroughly.

41. Fertilize plants. Use all of those half-filled bottles and cups of beer after a party to pour on your houseplants and garden vegetables. The plants will love the nourishment that the yeast adds to the soil.

42. Get rid of slugs in your garden. Put a shallow dish of beer into your soil buried up to the lip. The slugs will be attracted to the beer and become stuck in it. Empty the dish each day and replace with new beer as they are attracted to the smell.

Cotton balls

43. Fight mildew in hard-to-reach spots in the bathroom. Soak a few cotton balls in bleach and place them in those difficult spots. Leave them to work their magic for a few hours. Finish by rinsing with a warm-water wash.

Dawn dishwashing detergent

44. Get a better manicure by soaking fingernails in the soapy solution, rinse and apply polish. The polish will adhere better to the nail and spread smoother.

45. Pre-treat oil-based laundry stains, such as lipstick and grease.

46. Soak your oily and grimy tools to get them clean.

47. Kill pet fleas by washing pets in a soapy water bath.

Dryer sheets

48. Repel mosquitoes on your patio. Hang a sheet when outdoors during the mosquito season.

49. Freshen the air by placing an individual sheet in a drawer, hang one in the closet, locker at the health club, locker at work or under the seat of your car or truck.

50. Run a sewing needle through a sheet before sewing to prevent the thread from tangling.

51. A sheet left inside luggage or travel baggage can prevent musty odors.

52. Eliminate static electricity from the television or computer screen.

53. Dissolve soap scum from shower door and tile walls. Clean the surfaces with a sheet.

54. Repel bees and bugs by tucking some in your picnic basket or under lawn furniture. You can also rub a sheet directly on your bare skin.

55. Combat static on your clothes, stockings and hair by patting with a sheet.

56. De-stink your pets: scrub incoming dogs or cats (especially wet ones) with a dryer sheet before they enter the home.

57. Soak cookware with burnt or baked-on food in warm water, with a dryer sheet or two. Makes clean-up easier than you'd expect. Also works on cook tops and dingy cabinet doors.

Epsom salt

58. Exfoliate skin by massaging handfuls of epsom salt over wet skin, starting with your feet and continuing up toward the face. Have a bath to rinse.

59. Remove excess oil from hair by adding 9 tablespoons of epsom salt to 1/2 cup of oily hair shampoo. Apply one tablespoon of the liquid to your hair when it is dry; rinse with cold water. Next, pour lemon juice or organic apple cider vinegar through the hair, leave on for 5-10 minutes, and then rinse.

60. Remove splinter by soaking in epsom salt.

Grocery bags

61. Preserve paint brushes. To keep brushes and rollers from drying out, place them in bags and tie them or wrap them with rubber bands to keep air out. The tools will stay moist and protected for a day or so.

62. Bulk up curtain valances by stuffing them in the valances for a resilient pouf. Can also be used to stuff crafts or pillows.

63. Treat chapped hands by rubbing with a thick layer of petroleum jelly and placing them in a plastic bag for 15 minutes to half an hour.

Honey

64. Soak in a milk and honey bath. Add about 1/3 cup of honey to 2 1/4 cups of milk. Mix thoroughly. You can even add a few drops of essential oil to give your honey milk bath additional scent.

65. Treat minor skin abrasions and wounds with honey's antibacterial and antifungal properties. Apply a small amount twice daily to a wound or burn to speed up the healing process.

66. Help a hangover by spooning a few tablespoons of honey on toast for breakfast. The fructose speeds up the metabolism of alcohol.

Ice cube trays

67. Organize jewelry, small nuts and bolts and buttons in easy-to-stack trays.

Ketchup

68. Get rid of chlorine green hair with a ketchup shampoo. Massage ketchup generously into your hair and leave it for 15 minutes, then wash it out, using baby shampoo.

Lemon

69. Relieve a sore throat. Cut a lemon in half. Skewer one half over a medium flame on a gas stove or an electric burner set on high and roast until the peel turns golden brown. Let cool slightly, then mix the juice with 1 teaspoon of honey.

70. Whiten fingernails. Rub a wedge on the surface of your nails.

71. Remove soft cheese or other sticky foods from a grater. Rub both sides of the grater with the pulp side of a cut lemon.

72. Create blond highlights by adding 1/4 cup lemon juice to 3/4 cup water and rinse your hair with the mixture. Then sit in the sun until your hair dries. Lemon juice is a natural bleach.

Mayonnaise

73. Condition your hair by massaging it into your hair and scalp. Cover your head with a shower cap, wait several minutes, and shampoo.

74. Relieve sunburn pain by slathering mayonnaise liberally over the affected area.

75. Clean piano keys. If the keys to your piano are starting to yellow, tickle the ivories with a little mayonnaise applied with a soft cloth. Wait a few minutes, wipe with a damp cloth and buff.

76. Remove bumper stickers by rubbing some mayonnaise over the entire sticker. Let it sit for several minutes and wipe it off. It will also remove tar and pine sap.

Marshmallows

77. Stop ice cream drips by placing a large marshmallow in the bottom of the cone before adding the ice cream.

78. Keep brown sugar soft by adding a few marshmallows to the bag before closing it.

Milk

79. Use milk to shave with if you have nothing else to use as a barrier.

80. Clean patent leather shoes to a gleaming shine by rubbing them with a little milk on a soft cloth. Leave to dry and then buff them.

81. Remove ink stains on clothing by soaking the area in milk. This can take anything from half an hour to overnight to remove the stain completely.

82. Repair fine cracks in china plates and cups can by boiling them in milk. The milk reacts with the kaolin in china and closes the crack. Place the plate in a pan, cover it with milk (fresh or reconstituted powdered milk) and bring to a boil. As soon as it starts to boil, lower the heat and simmer for about 45 minutes.

Mini photo album

83. Use to hold information for a DIY project: fabric swatches, paint color chips, measurements.

Nail polish

84. Make cup measurements visible by using a brightly colored polish to trace over basic measurement levels.

85. Mark levels inside a bucket with a color that stands out.

86. Seal an envelope by brushing a little polish on the underside of the flap.

87. Protect your belt buckle's shine by covering new or just-shined belt buckles with a coat of clear polish.

88. Stop a windshield crack from spreading by brushing both sides of the glass with polish to fill it.

Newspaper

89. Store sweaters and blankets in a few sheets to keep moths away.

90. Clean and polish windows without leaving streaks.

91. Make an impromptu ironing board by filling a pillowcase with a short stack of newspapers. Place on floor or countertop for ironing.

92. Put traction under your car wheels if you are ever stuck on a patch of ice or slush by placing a dozen sheets of newspaper under each rear wheel to gain traction.

Oatmeal

93. Treat itchy poison ivy or chicken pox by soaking in an oatmeal bath. Grind 1 cup of oatmeal into a thin powder, pour into cheesecloth or into a clean old stocking and tie into a knot. Suspend the bag under the faucet as it fills with warm water.

Olive oil

94. Polish wood furniture with a teaspoon of oil and a soft rag.

95. Lubricate measuring cups and spoons for easy cleanup of sticky ingredients such as honey, grain mustards and syrups.

96. Control hair frizz by combing a bit of olive oil through dry hair to tame the frizz and flyaways on humid days or in the winter.

97. Free a stuck zipper. Use a cotton swab to apply olive oil to the teeth of a zipper, then gently ease the tab down.

98. Remove paint from your skin.

99. Fix a squeaky door by using a rag or cotton swab to apply olive oil to the top of a problematic hinge.

Soda pop

100. Clean car battery terminals. The acidic properties will eliminate corrosion. Pour some soda over the battery terminals and let it set. Remove the sticky residue with a wet sponge.

101. Loosen rusted-on nuts and bolts. Soak a rag in the soda and wrap it around the bolt for several minutes.

102. Make cut flowers last longer by pouring about 1/2 cup into the water in a vase full of cut flowers. The sugar in the soda will make the blossoms last longer.

103. Clear out a slow drain by pouring a 2-liter bottle of cola down the drain to help remove the clog.

Tissue box (empty)

104. Store empty plastic grocery bags.

Vinegar

105. Remove stubborn price tags or stickers. Paint them with several coats of vinegar, let the liquid soak in for five minutes, then wipe away the residue.

106. Make wool sweaters fluffier. Drop in a couple of capfuls of vinegar during the rinse cycle for an extra-soft feel.

107. Kill weeds between cracks in paving stones and sidewalks. Fill a spray bottle with straight vinegar and spray multiple times.

Wine bottle (empty)

108. Put in boots to prevent crease line.

What our FHE taught me

On Sunday I woke up and I really thought that it was going to be a great Sunday! We all had our church clothes laid out and then the unexpected (well, I should have expected it) happened. Gino asked if he'd like me to keep Ella with him. This threw me! THREW ME for a loop. I didn't flip, and I just said, "No, thanks, but she's going to nursery this Sunday." The kids and I proceeded to get ready and we went to church. Okay... I know, I wouldn't walk out the door that easily w/out saying something horribly harsh and stabbing. So, luckily I had Gino to start me off by saying to me, "I'll pray for you today." I turned around and said, "Hmmm.... I'll pray for you and ask for your name to be taken off the rolls of the church so you can join Satan's church."

Wow.

Did I REALLY say that? YUP. I most certainly did, and felt like bawling all the way to church. I've been so confused as to why Gino is going backwards when all I want to do is make it to the temple and get sealed.

I walked into church and of course the bishop's wife who has that motherly touch was right there and hugged me and..... I LOST IT! I started bawling and couldn't stop. Then I went to the bathroom, got myself together then my friend Kari came to sit by me and I lost it again. I mean, the tears were FLOWING! It was horrible. It was a momentous day, the first day Ella went to nursery and I was sad that Gino wasn't going to be there for it. I had many emotions that day, and I felt beyond emotional.

So, Bishop and I talked and I'm not going to be in primary anymore. I didn't have to ask, but when I told him that I think it's my calling that's keeping Gino from coming to church he said he'd take care of it. I wanted to be in primary so badly. I loved being in there with Jayden, and I just might sneak in and hang out in there after Sunday school.

I have to do what's best for my family, and if Gino's not ready for me to leave him for the last 2 hours of church by himself, then I have to put his needs first. I feel good. I came home and we had a great talk and I think that he'll be at church on Sunday. I hope he is.

This is an example of where I need to try to Be like Jesus. Just like our Family Home Evening lesson LAST NIGHT. I need to be compassionate of Gino's feelings, be patient with his journey, and understanding. I also need to put him first. Right now, he's got to be feeling somewhat insecure, because this is really all new to him. I may have been active now for a year, but Gino's just really starting out here. There's so much to learn and instead of feeling pressures, that's exactly what he should be doing. If there's a Sunday where he doesn't want to go to church I need to be understanding and not push. Not get mad, but love him even more for the progress that he's already made. The hard steps of changing his life because he loves us that much.

Family Home Evening - Trying to be like Jesus

I have not been very consistent on Family Home Evening, but I've decided that this family REALLY needs it!! So, I've prepared my lesson and I think it's one that I need the most. Our lesson is Trying to be like Jesus. If you want to learn more about Family Home Evening and how it can strengthen your family SEE HERE.

We will be reading THIS STORY out of The Friend and then we'll throw some scenarios out there and take turns deciding whether the reaction is being like Jesus or not. We'll also play a fun little game where we make a story. We'll each add on two sentences and form a fun story that we'll write down and treasure forever.... it might even pop up on Garibay Soup.

Our music will be I'm Trying to Be like Jesus from the Children's Primary Book. We have a CD with the song on it, so we'll just play it and sing along. I've printed out the lyrics and we'll try to learn them together as a family tonight.

If you have any ideas to add to our Family Home Evening vault please leave me a comment and let me know!! And I hope that you will join along with the Garibay Family tonight as we make this family STRONG!

I'm not Mama anymore

Ella has learned something new. Something that stabs my heart. It's cute, and I giggle when she says it, but it just shows that she's growing up. I'm not Mama. I'm Mommy. And she emphasizes the eeeeeee. Her little voice sounds so cute when she says it, but I still wish I was still Mama. It took Jayden a few years to stop saying Mama. I like Mama.

I'm also too loud for Ella. My friend, Celeste, was over yesterday and we were laughing and Ella gave us a dirty look and plugged her ears. I can't believe she even knew that's what she's supposed to do. Then we laughed about that and she plugged her ears again.

I haven't been sewing. I haven't even been stalking people's blogs looking for ideas and tutorials on things I can sew. I've been SWAMPED with work. I have so much I need to get done and I anticipate this going on all throughout next week. Then, I'm taking 2 whole days to myself to focus completely on sewing. I have to finish my niece's quilt and Jayden's Simpson's quilt that I started. I want to work more on purses and I even want to take a class.

The Next American Idol

I personally think that the American Idol thing is stupid. A few really good singers have come from it, but a lot of them I really can't stand, or I think they SUCK. So not nice, I know.

We did watch the first episode this season, because there was nothing else on, and we thought Jayden would really enjoy it.

Jayden loved it and told Gino, "Dad! You need to go on there. You're a great singer!"

It touched Gino so much that he asked me to put it on my blog. Gino never asks me to put anything on my blog, so here it is.

Our trip in pictures and some words

Our trip to California was quick. We had such a fun time though. Friday after Jayden got out of school we took off and got into town around 8:30pm. At 10:30 pm we went to the movies with my sister while my mom watched the kids. We saw that 3D My Bloody Valentine movie - I actually really liked it!

Saturday I picked up my niece Alana so that she could go to the birthday party. She is such a beautiful little girl. I hadn't seen her since she was 6 weeks old, so it was an amazing reunion. And so fun to watch her and Ella with each other.

We went to Chuck E Cheese for Vani's 2nd Birthday. Ella was in HEAVEN there! She'd never been to anything like it before, so her eyes lit up and she was having the time of her life. The little smarty pants even figured out that you needed tokens and would take the token and try to put it in the machine.




We finally got a picture of all of the cousins together. This is the first time that they've all been together at the same time. Sad it took so long, but we FINALLY got it!!




Then on Sunday morning we woke up early and went to Stockton to see Gino's mom and little brother, Gabriel. We took them to Arroyo's, which is probably the best Mexican food I've ever had in my life. It was a nice visit. I really do enjoy visiting with his mom.




After lunch on Sunday we headed on our way home, but we had one more stop to make. We were going to do a surprise visit to Gino's dad and step-mom's house. We pulled up and they were so happy to see us. We only stayed for a couple hours, then we ventured on our way home and arrived at 9:30pm. And we went straight to bed.





So, it was a quick, but very enjoyable trip.

Obama

What an amazing thing to watch our first African-American President be sworn in. I am actually really happy that Obama is our president. It's exciting! We need a change, and I think that Obama just might be able to give us the change that our country needs. When we were down in California we went to see Gino's mom and she was talking about all the job cuts that are happening and how California is in a huge mess. I think that at that moment our economic crisis actually hit me. While we're fine and it hasn't necessarily hit our home, it doesn't mean that it can't. That scares me.

I hope that we see a change and I hope that the people out there that are struggling because of our disasterous crisis, that they find jobs and that they are able to provide for their family. All I can do is pray for everyone. There's a guy that stands at Gino's work early in the morning with a sign saying NEED WORK and it has his phone number. When Gino told me about this I thought... how sad. He probably is at his last resort and has no other clue of what to do for his family. So, he gets up in the cold and stands there hoping someone will help him. That is scary. This nation scares me. I hope that it gets better, and I think we're all grasping on to the words that Obama has told us praying that change does happen.

Going to Cali TOMORROW!

Well, I definitely didn't expect this, but we had plans on going to Sacramento next weekend, but there's going to be snow.... and I don't do driving in snow. So, I called Gino and asked if he'd rather go this weekend and he said yeah. So, he's playing hookie on Saturday and we're leaving tomorrow when Jayden gets out of school (Gino gets off work at 2pm).

I'm SO EXCITED to get to go and see my sister and my niece and nephew and my mom. We're also going to take a trip to Stockton on Sunday and see Gino's mom and go eat some yummy Mexican food and my favorite Mexican restaurant.

I'll post lots of pics and some videos when I get back. Keep us in your prayers that we have a safe and happy trip.

My Superstar Kids

For the past few weeks Ella's been saying please. She says it anytime that she wants something. The cutest is when she gets a book and comes running over saying boo boo boo and then peeeaaase peeeaaase peeeassse and screams it if you don't do what it is that she's saying please for. It's really cute.

Something else that I thought was adorable is she's been noticing if something bad is going to happen when she watches cartoons she's says, "Uh oh! DON'T" This is like if they're going to run into something, or like in Enchanted when Jizelle is hanging off the big board (UGH I can't think of what these things are called) you know, in the beginning of the movie when she's knocking on the castle door when she's in New York and slips and is hanging on. Ella was yelling NO! DON'T!! UH OH!!! It was so neat to see how smart she is and how she knew that she in was trouble. Watching this little girl's brain work is really amazing.

She is such a joy to have in my life.

I wanted to say something really quick about my little man. At the last parent teacher conference his teacher told me how he doesn't like to take his spelling test - freaks out with any kind of testing. I would work on his spelling words with him, but I guess it wasn't enough. I felt so bad, but I found the solution. For Christmas he got a Didj and last week we put his spelling words inside of it and on Friday he took his spelling test. His teacher was so proud of him that she brought it out to the car for me to see how well he did! He got 9 out of 10 right - on the word form he mixed up o and r, but it was their first week have to write a sentence after the spelling test and he did it!!!! I'm so proud of him.

I'm Better

I'm better than I was when I wrote my previous blog post. Life can be a bit overwhelming sometimes and I took it out on my blog. I'm sure we'll all just be fine and I'm probably overreacting. *DEEP BREATH* Moving on in a positive way about my day.

Marriage, Life, Church - UGH it's all hard

Life isn't always perfect. Pictures don't always show the whole story. My smile sometimes is a lie. I don't know what is going on right now, but I feel like things are falling apart. It's funny, because in the primary class that I teach we were talking about apostasy and restoration.
There was a time of apostasy on this earth when the fullness of the gospel was taken away. Then when Joseph Smith had the first vision, the start of the restoration started.

I feel as if my family is about to go through the apostasy. Yeah, a little harsh - and I know there are probably a lot of members that know my family that gasping. Life sucks sometimes and I don't know what went wrong.

I for one will say that being a member of this church is hard to be a part of. They ask a lot of you and it's not easy. You get to go to church and see all these "perfect" families that were born into this and have never known a different life and think to yourself, 'Hmmm we'll never be there.' We are not perfect. I don't have a husband that thrives to serve others like all the men in this church seem to do; I have a husband who thinks the world revolves around him and is probably the most narcissistic person that I've ever met. He gives murmuring a whole new meaning. But he's my husband and with or without the church I love him. I'm not perfect.... I have so many faults, but I'm trying. I'm trying to be the Mormon wife, the Mormon mom. But life is not so sugar coated as it seems, well at least not when you're starting out at this so late in life.

I do know this. It's hard, but it's what we're supposed to do. With or without my husband, I will continue to be a member of this church and hope that it gives my children the morals and principles that I want them to have with them for the rest of their lives. Getting up on Sunday and going to church for 3 hours is hard sometimes, but what's 3 hours out of 168 hours? 3 hours out of our week is NOTHING. There are things that my husband doesn't understand. Things he thinks are inconvenient, and I don't know how to go about showing him the reason why we are called to do callings that take our time, why we have to go to church for so long, and why he should be going to church instead of watching that stupid football game that could have been DVRed.

I'm bitter today. I see him slowly pull away and by the time that we'll be able to finally be sealed together as a family he won't be in the same spot I am. What a horrible thing. Apostacy sure has a new meaning for me, and I hope to God that it doesn't hit this family that has come SO FAR from what it used to be.

Mixed Feelings

I'm having mixed feelings about my new calling to Primary. I think that the calling is great and I know that I could learn a lot from who I'd be teaching with, but I just think that the timing is not right. I don't feel comfortable leaving Gino to attend Sunday school by himself. He's so new to all of this and I can see him falling away from the church a little bit. Not wanting to stay after Sacrament, and I just think he's too new of a member to do this to.

I feel bad going and turning down my calling, but something inside of me keeps screaming that I need to turn it down.

I don't know what to do. :(

BlackBerry

So, what kind of a person goes out and buys a BlackBerry and then doesn't even install the software on the computer or even hook it up to the computer for 4 months? Um, yeah, that would be ME!

I finally decided to play around with my phone and see what hooking it up to the computer would really do for me. WOW! It charges my phone, I can use my phone's internet hookup for my wireless internet and there's like so much more! I have a 4GB memory card in my phone and finally decided today to get some music on it. I feel like I just got a new phone!

THIS IS FUN!!!

Scripture Scouts

My past few posts have not had pictures. Hmmmm.... kinda boring huh?

I wanted to talk about something kinda cool. I was up at the Bishop's house today while Jayden was having his piano lesson, Sister Shumway was going over our new class that we teach together with me.

She let Jayden borrow a CD called Scout Stories (this might not be the correct name, and if it's not I'll update it tomorrow) and I have to say IT IS AWESOME! Jayden and I listened to the entire 1st Nephi Story, which I write about HERE. At the end of the story, Jayden asked me, "Mom, this is so awesome! Where's the promised land." And this is where I giggled. I felt all excited inside, because Jayden now knows the same story that I've been reading forever, because I totally suck at Scripture study, but he was asking questions! That means he was totally paying attention. Why did I giggle? Because I wasn't 100% on where the promised land was. I told him that I believed it was here, in the USA, because that's where Joseph Smith found the plates, but I guess it's something I'll eventually find out as I read.... or listen to Jayden's stories.

**EDITED TO ADD THAT THEY'RE CALLED SCRIPTURE SCOUTS - NOT SCOUT STORIES :)

Building a Strong Family

If you're a reader of my blog, then you've read this post before. I wanted to bring it back though. Especially for Works for Me Wednesday. Rocks in My Dryer hosts a wonderful carnival that gathers hundreds of bloggers that share what works for them. This week I want to share what works for us on building a strong family.

Remember the days when families used to sit together as a family for dinner. Talk about their days and bring laughter into their lives. Our society has cut this out of their lives and it's sad. It's sad that families are so busy that they don't stop to appreciate what God has given them. A beautiful family that should be providing each other with unconditional love.

Bringing families close and together is a very important thing to the Mormon church, as it is to most religions. We implement something into our homes that strengthens our families and all it takes is one night a week.

It's called Family Home Evening. Monday nights, the majority of the members of the church are gathered together in their homes strengthening the bonds that God has given us with our families. It's a date and time that's a guarantee in each of our homes that we will be together as a family, without media, without stresses, just us, God and the ones we love.

The way Family Home Evening is typically organized is as follows:

Opening Prayer
Sing a church song together
Quick lesson on any of these topics
Family Activity
Special Treat
Closing Song
Closing Prayer

You don't have to be a member of the Mormon church to practice this. You don't have to even give lessons or sing songs. Just having a set day a week to do some family activity together will do amazing things. Even if it's just playing a board game and eating some ice cream afterwards.

Family Home Evening is a great time to discuss anything that needs to be discussed as a family. You can use this time to discuss weekly meal plans and chores, and go over the family's weekly calendar. But the main thing is it's important that you're consistent, and you always end it with a fun activity and treat.

The last time that I posted this post I had a reader contact me to tell me that she's not Mormon, but she absolutely loved this and implemented it into her family, and they all loved it. I feel so wonderful that her kids will have beautiful memories of their childhood, because she read this post from me.

I hope that I get some of you out there to join in with me. I'll try to update every Monday with what we have planned. On my Topics that I Discuss on my sidebar, FHE stands for Family Home Evening. If you have ideas for great lesson ideas or activities, or even a yummy treat recipe you'd like to share please leave a comment and share it. Remember, you don't have to be Mormon to have a Family Home Evening.

I KNEW it was gonna happen - JUST KNEW IT!

So, I've been waiting ever so patiently for Ella to turn 18 months so I could shove her into Nursery and actually listen during Sunday School & Relief Society. I've always had this feeling inside that right when she was ready to go to Nursery that I'd get a calling that would be in primary.

Today I got called to teach the 8 year olds turning 9 this year. The ones that just got baptized. I'll be teaching the class with the Bishop's wife, Wendy, who I absolutely love. So, I'm pretty excited, but had to giggle inside that what I had a feeling would happen actually did happen. This year we had made the decision to stop going to Gospel Essentials and start going to Gospel Doctrine instead... especially since they'd be studying Doctrine & Covenents, but Gino will get to hang out in there all by himself.... or with Ella until she turns 18 months. I"ll still study the weekly lessons with Gino at home so I can learn, and so that he'll be prepared and understand what they're talking about.

Today was Testimony Sunday at church and I still didn't feel like I was ready to get up and share my testimony... I don't know why, because I do have a strong testimony. I've seen this gospel completely turn my family around. We're not even the same people as we were before. Gino has done a complete turn around and I'm so thankful for the gospel. It's only been a year and 1 month that we started coming to church, and a year and 1 month ago I never would've thought we'd be where we are now. I'm thankful that I now have a better understanding of why I'm here on this earth. I'm not just lost in this world wondering what the point of it all is. I know what the point is, and I know what I'm supposed to be doing, and I'm striving my hardest to do it all. I'm not perfect, and neither is my husband, but we've come such a long way and it feels good to be on the path that we're on. I hope we never lose track of it, because it feel so right and so good.

I'm feeling absolutely horrible today and I don't know what's wrong. I don't have a cold or the flu, but I just don't feel well. It may just be my body telling me that it's had enough of the torture I've put it through these past few days of doing major stuff around the house, so maybe I need to listen to it and just relax for the rest of the day.

Day 2 of Productiveness

New Years Day I woke up MOTIVATED!!!!! I've done so many projects around the house and it feels SO GOOD! Here's a list of what I've done:

I've done MANY MANY MANY loads of laundry.... and I'm going to keep doing this throughout tomorrow until it's ALL DONE!

I've cleaned out my linen closet and organized it to where it's a beautiful sight when opened

I cleaned out the coat closet and donated 5 coats

I went through my closet and Gino went through his and we donated everything we haven't touched in the last 3 months... unless, of course it was special

I've tackled the dreaded junk corner of my room

I'm making schedules for what I'd like my days to be like in 2009

I cleaned the inside and outside of my car plus got Gino's car & my car's oil changed and tires rotated

And I got rid of my housekeeper. I don't see the point in paying someone to do something that I think I can do better.... so, Flylady on Monday I'm a new faithful follower.... I even have my control journal out and ready to start flying!

My main focus right now is decluttering. I don't want the crap I hold on to anymore. I'm taking tomorrow to finish up the inside of the house (Garage is Monday's project) and I'm determined to start work on Monday with a newly organized and smooth running system. This month is going to be extremely busy, because I have so much on my to do list concerning work that all has to be done by January 31st.

I hope I motivated some of my readers, because just reading this is getting me motivated all over again.

Tomorrow's main goals....

Finish all laundry
Finish all filing
Organize Jayden's room
Go through boxes in Jayden's closet
Clean all bathroom & kitchen floors

I hope I'm as motivated tomorrow as I've been these past couple of days.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Nothing's better than celebrating the New Year with your family. Prior years we've gone out and let me tell you from experience, IT FEELS SO MUCH BETTER TO START THE NEW YEARS WITHOUT A HANGOVER!!!

We rang in the year with movies, Uno and a little Welch's Grape Bubbly. It was the perfect night! I got to kiss my babies right after kissing my husband and was happy that we were all safe at home.... together.

Here's a couple pics and a video of Jayden singing. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

She conked out until the blowing of the New Years horns I bought woke her up