I Finished Breaking Dawn

and it was WONDERFUL! The ending was perfect and I'm completely satisfied and okay that it's over. I didn't think I'd be able to say that, but it does leave wonderful closure. Of course, I'd love for it to keep going on and on, but that would eventually ruin the whole story. It has to end eventually. Hopefully we still get Midnight Sun someday ~ I think that hearing things from Edward's perspective will put a whole new spin on things.

My next book I'm going to start reading is The Host. Also by Stephenie Myer. The story line seems a little different, but it has some pretty good reviews and I really love her as an author.

Blah!

I'm a little less irritated today, but still pretty pissed. I didn't go to church this morning, and not because of all this drama going on, but because it's just too hard without Gino. He has to work today. I'm supposed to go on a picnic with some friends from church, so I'll probably still do that...... just to get out of this house and get all of this crap off my mind.

It's hurtful that I would be accused of something so shallow when I love Norm and have ALWAYS looked for his best interest. I'm the one that's told him I don't want a penny from his will. The only thing I've ever wanted is for an education, which has been promised to me since I was a little girl. I don't want anything other than that.... and I've made sure that he and everyone else knows that. I don't care about his money. I have him here so that he can be around the wonderful medical that Medford has to offer, and a beautiful place with low elevation so he can breathe. The funny thing is he's not captured here, he's only waiting for a major surgery, then he's going home. Home to a place where not one soul will take care of him. He'll end up in a care center and it will be a sad, sad thing. Here at least he's in a beautiful retirement community, I take him out to eat, my Grandma takes him to her home to watch movies. There's so much we do with and for him. Yet, we're accused of wrong doing from people who don't even care about him?!?!!? Money does disgusting things to people. Beyond my comprehension.

Talk about DRAMA!

Boy, I can't catch a break lately. My Grandma called me today to tell me that I am being investigated by the State of Oregon for elderly whatever. You HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!! There's a lot of greedy, money hungry assholes in this world, and unfortunately Norm (my Grandpa that I do books for) is surrounded by them. She is just as pissed off as me right now

A social worker showed up to his room and told him that it's a secret and he has to keep it, because they're going to come to my house and seize all of his books. He gets reports of EVERYTHING I do. He is not in any way in the dark, but unfortunately, his executor (who we will be getting rid of) likes to play games because we took his name off of the signature card at the bank. Norm told that social worker absolutely not, that is my family who takes care of me and everything that she does I have approved.

I'm so mad. Why in the hell do I have to be the one to be picked on, when I'm the one that's here with the man taking care of him. I feel bad because my Grandma has been the one that has been attacked and accused, when she's always only cared and taken care of him. Now it's me. What's sad is that it's like his current executor is trying to make Norm have no say ~ why so he can just take over things and have a field day with his money????

Okay, so I know this was so personal and all that, but I'm pissed and I needed to write about it. This makes me just want to hand over all of his books right over to the vultures, but it's not in his best interest. I guess I just take a deep breath, suck it up and deal with it. I'm glad that they could at least see that he's not in any way senile, or not with it. He knows what's going on, and I know that's upsetting to him for people to assume that he doesn't.

You know what's sad? His current executor is LDS ~ probably the most un-LDS person in this world.... he's a disgrace to my religion.

Sadness in the Twilight Saga World

My eyes flung open this morning and I looked at the clock and cringed. 6:30am and I'm awake??? And my kids aren't?!?! So I totally thought I'd fall right back asleep.... but then I did the math in my head. I went to bed at 9:30pm, so I got 9 hours of sleep. Here I am wide awake without children, so I grab the computer to maybe do a little bit of blogging, and sure enough Ella's eyes fly open and she immediately notices the computer and drags herself up just to bang on it. Her eyes weren't even fully open. What is it with children and destroying their parent's quiet, alone time?

I heard last night that somebody leaked the partial manuscript of Stephenie Meyer's Midnight Sun and she has now posted the first 200-something pages on her website and is not going to be finishing the book. That makes me so sad and mad. Why would someone do something like that. This series has done amazing things to my soul. I have never had a book, let alone a series effect me the way that this Saga has. The past couple of days I've tried really hard not to read, because I only have like 130 pages of the fourth book, and I don't want it to end. I have enjoyed every single book, and every one has touched me in its own way. The characters that Stephenie created were beyond amazing. The love between Bella and Edward is a love that all of us girls only dream of.... I love my husband, but that type of love is literally only for the fantasy world that all of us girls live in.

I was looking forward to Midnight Sun, and a part of me doesn't even want to read the first pages she wrote, because my heart will be saddened that there will not be an end. I could only imagine how sad Stephenie feels that someone she trusted leaked something so special.

On a happier note, I also read on her website that the movie is coming out 3 weeks early!!! Instead of 12/12/08 it's coming out on 11/21/08. Um, YAY!!

I hope that Stephenie finishes Midnight Sun. And as I type this Ella is snuggling up to my chest. I have the most loving, snugly children... I am so thankful for them. I wonder if one day Ella will be reading the Twilight Saga and fall in love with it the way her crazy mother has.

A Musical Genius

My son is amazing. I've talked before of just how amazing on the piano he is, and now today I'm utterly SHOCKED!

So, for the entire summer Jayden has not had ANY piano lessons or even practiced. Tonight was Jayden's first night back to piano after a very long break. I expected Jayden to be oblivious to it all to be honest. Nope. He remembered everything. He can count his notes, play the songs, point out the keys, tell you what Forte means, what Piano means.

Way to go, Jayden! I am so proud of you and we are going full fledged into this ~ I'm buying him a big keyboard and I'm going to practice with him and I'm just so excited.

Happy Monday

Happy Monday. I have a lot of blogging to catch up on. You'd be surprised that I actually have a list of things I need to post about. I'm so overwhelmed right now. I have a huge list of things to do for work, and that has to get done TODAY! So, why in the heck am I on here babbling? Well, I had to get a few things off of my chest.

Jayden is starting 1st grade in a week. In a flipping week my baby will be in 1st grade!!!!!!! I'm happy for him that he'll be back in the routine things of life and he won't be bored with me. Sadly, his girlfriend is not in his class this year. His response to this was, "Ah, bummer!" Poor guy.

Ella has a molar that broke through. It's all the way in the back on her upper right. I think that explains the couple nights of tossing, turning and SCREAMING! She's growing up so fast, and she just gets cuter and cuter every single day! The way she runs is just adorable, and I especially think it's cute when I come home from being somewhere and she runs to me, grabs on to my legs and hugs. She is such a sweet soul.

Ella has a cardiologist appointment tomorrow. She got a blessing last night from the missionaries, and I just pray that her WPW has corrected itself miraculously. I don't want this sweet baby girl to have to have a surgery done. We've been lucky enough to stay out of the hospitals for 10 months! That's an answered prayer if you ask me. She's been nothing but healthy, happy and I hope for a continued future in this manner.

Things with Mitch are going the same. I don't know if he got that job yet or not, I'm crossing my fingers and praying. It's hard having another person living in my home. I try to keep my head up, but it's difficult. The thing that bothers me is he's here to better his life and yet his long term plan is to move back to Sacramento, because he's going to be 21. Makes me not want to help him. He's got a kid now, and he should be thinking about family stuff and not partying. It's time to grow up. You don't get to party and have fun when you have kids to raise, because if that's the choice you make, then your kids will grow up knowing only that and how sad they'll turn out to be.

I'm on day 9 of no coffee. I never thought I'd be able to do this.

I finally opened it

August 2nd I was at the store buying the much anticipated Breaking Dawn. Then I got scared. I had flashbacks of the first 3 books completely overtaking my life. I couldn't put them down. I fell in love with another man (Edward Cullen in the book). Then I got scared about it ending. I'm scared to finish this book and not have another one (Until Midnight Sun comes out) to read. Tonight I sucked it all up and opened up the book.

I read the first 2 chapters and actually was able to put it down. Not because it's not good, but because I'm so exhausted from this day that I really need to go to bed.

I bought my Wii Fit tonight. I didn't try it out, but Gino did and it seems REALLY cool! It's definitely going to be fun to do.

Notice none of my goals from today are checked off? Yeah, I went to go and lay down w/Ella to get her to sleep and ended up falling asleep with her. There went my afternoon. Better luck tomorrow.

A Rant.... expect many, many more

God blessed me with 2 beautiful children 6 years apart. Luckily for me I haven't had to deal with the fighting and bickering between 2 children.

And then God blessed me with the beautiful presence of my brother. I swear I feel like I have 2 sons right now. Here's my deal. If Jayden wants to play video games and I already told Jayden that he could then Mitch better not argue with it. I feel like Mitch is getting too comfortable here and I don't like that. I don't want him on pins and needles, but he needs to appreciate what he's got and realize that HE came into OUR home. He doesn't get a choice of what show to watch, or if the TV can even be on. I know, I'm a wretched bitch, but damn it, it's my house! It's Jayden's house! It's Ella's house! Oh yeah, it's Gino's house too. It's not Mitch's.

Not a Sac Girl Anymore

I know, there's still no pictures. It's not as easy with this new camera, because I have to resize them for the web.... I promise it will be soon.

I however needed to come on and elaborate on a few things going through my mind. First of all, I really think I don't like Sacramento at all. I promise it has gotten so much more ghetto than it was before. I couldn't stand looking at all the ghetto. Besides the fact that I have a very dysfunctional father that lives here, I'm really happy we made the decision to move here. I will never live back in Sacramento if I can help it. I will always be a Cali girl at heart, but it's so not the place to raise your children.

I believe my brother just might have a job. Done in 1 day and w/out the help of any of my family here. I'm sad, because he really did want to have the plumbing experience from my dad, but the job I believe he got (they already drug tested him and he passed it!) is a great one. They'll even give him a bus pass, which means I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE HIM TO AND FROM WORK! Very pleased with this one.... please cross your fingers and pray with me that he indeed got the job.

Here's my goals of the day: If I come back and cross them off that means I accomplished them ~ I wouldn't expect too many cross offs, but you never know!!!

1. Print Checks and mail off for work
2. Prepare deposits and mail off for work
3. Statements sent out
   
4. 3 loads of laundry folded & put away
5. The toilet fixed ~ maybe I'll just pour Draino down the drain and leave it up to Gino
6. Room cleaned up ~ it's a mess since coming back from this trip.
   

Okay I'm off to go and try to get the work side of things and 1 load of laundry started.

One more thing!!!! Today is day 5 with no coffee. I am passed the migraine part (YAY!) and my anxiety is better and I'm replacing coffee with breakfast and vitamins. Huge accomplishment for me. I wasn't just making my coffee at home, either ~ I was spending $5.00/day having it made for me. So, with the amount of money I'm going to save this month I'm buying myself Wii Fit.

We're Back

We're back. We've been back since Sunday. It's already Wednesday and I've been so exhausted from my trip I haven't even updated my blog. I haven't posted pictures of our trip, and I haven't even done my laundry yet. Sometimes we really do need a vacation from our vacations.

So, my brother is not going to be working with my dad. In so many words my dad is probably biggest loser in the world and his actions on Sunday night proved that to me. I'm glad that he screwed my brother over, because if he hadn't I'd still be stringing along with him with some hope that he would some day actually be a dad. So I'm happy to say that I no longer am holding on to that hope. I'm moving on with my life and smiling at the fact that my kids will not have to have a loser in lives.

I used to talk about Brittney. She was my biological sister who I was really trying to get to know. She turned out to be one basket case. I tried, and I'm happy with that. The fact that it didn't work out between us isn't making me lose any sleep. Like I've always said, I have 1 sister and I will always only have 1 sister.

Pictures of our trip should be up some time today.

Happy Wednesday :)

Goin back to Cali!

In about 2 hours we will be in our car on our way to Cali!!!! I can't wait to see everyone and for everyone to see the kids!

First stop is San Ramon to visit our friends Jen & David. Then Thursday (Ella's first birthday) we're going to San Francisco and eating great food and seeing some sites.

Haven't decided yet if we're staying in Frisco Thursday night or not. We might drive back that night to Sacramento, but that's not set in stone. I think Gino's BFF Dave wants us to stay with him.

Then Friday I think we're going to Stockton to see Gino's mom. Friday night is BBQ at my cousin Jenna's house!!

Saturday is Ella's birthday party.

Sunday we come home!

Boy that's a lot of visiting!!

Pray we have a safe, happy and joyous trip.

It's not just me! Jayden sees it too!!

Here is what Jayden told Mitch just now:

Uncle Mitch, why don't you have a job? You could get a sign that says Help and you could get a job that way. Like at Burger King, McDonalds, Sea World and there's Wendy's.

Mitch and I both cracked up laughing.

Ruthie's Birth Announcement

I made my neighebor's birth announcement and I LOVE IT! Their baby girl is so cute and so sweet.

Just Tired!

This is really hard. It's the little things that get under my skin and drive me crazy. For instance, sleeping on my couch. Why does he keep sleeping on my couch when there's a bedroom upstairs with a bed that he can sleep on??? I actually woke him up in the middle of the night and made him get off my couch. I know, I'm horribly mean.

Another irritating thing ~ the ghetto talk, the pants hanging off his butt, him just sitting in my living room. What's wrong with me?!?!?! Everything about this boy is irritating me. I don't do well with other people living with me. This kindof is a reason why I moved from Sacramento and here I am having to take care of this grown adult all because he's irresponsible and thought he could hustle his way through life in Sacramento.

That makes me mad.

It's not fair to my little family here that's trying to have a structured, happy home.

I'm leaving for a few days and I'm so upset. I'm leaving him here, all alone for 5 days ~ that's WAY too long. What if eats on my couch and spills something? What if he lets some strange girl in my house while I'm gone? I'm stressing about things I SHOULDN'T have to stress about.

Why is it that I have to be the responsible one and pick up the pieces? It's not fair.... I'm tired of the cussing, the rolling of the eyes when I talk about my religion......I'm just tired and I don't know how long I can handle having another person living in my home.

~~ I'm sorry for the rant, but I needed to get this all out ~~

24 Hour Vacation

That was one exhausting weekend! I made a decision out of the middle of nowhere that we were going to the coast. So we packed up and had everything ready to take off as soon as Gino got home from work.

We were at the ocean at 6:00pm and it was beautiful. We brought along Mitch and Ryli so we took 2 cars. The boys were in 1 and the girls were in the other. It was probably one of the most beautiful drives I've ever driven.

The redwoods are breathtaking and I got MANY pictures!!! We went to Ocean World, the beach twice and to the Trees of Mystery. Ella really enjoyed Ocean World ~ especially the Sea Lion. We did it all in 24 hours! I have to go through all of my pictures and resize them all and then I'll post a couple up. It's going to be so hard to choose from them all!

We get home and I was EXHAUSTED! To the point of almost being emotional ~ well, Ella had no diapers, so I had to leave and drive to the store to buy the diapers. I get home and finally am in bed when Jayden wakes up crying and crying and telling me that his ear is broken. Poor guy has swimmer's ear. So this morning we went to the doctors and got him some medication.

My visit with my little cousin Ryli was wonderful. She is such a sweet girl and I was happy she was able to have such a fun time. Sometimes it can be hard when you're the oldest of 4, and I'm happy that she got some one on one time w/my Grandma and me! She's flying out today and I'm going to miss her so much! I need make sure that I get together with her at least once a year. She has always held a special place in my heart since she was a baby.... I lived with her when she was a baby, and helped my aunt out during a very difficult time in her life.

Stay tuned for pictures!!

Our First Discussion

Last night we had the missionaries and some friends over from church to start Gino with discussions. The initial plan was they were going to do a mini lesson (cut it in half) so that Gino wasn't overwhelmed. The night didn't start out too great ~ right when they got here our toilet overflowed upstairs and Jayden slipped in the thick water on the floor ~ luckily 10 minutes later Gino had it all taken care of. 1 hour and 45 minutes later they left. We had the whole discussion and then some. I was amazed at involved Gino was with it all. He asked the questions that he had and told them that there's no doubt in his mind that it's all true.

They of course asked if he would give them a baptism date and we told them let's just get through the lessons. I know it's a scary thing to take such a huge step and just getting the discussions alone were huge.

I know this might sound strange, but every time Gino is faced with someone who thinks that the Mormon religion is a joke he gets defensive. Yes, Mr. Garibay who used to talk smack about Mormons defends them now. Before my brother got here he was a little like, Ugh I'm not in the mood for this... isn't going to church enough.... blah blah blah ~ well, when my brother says a couple things about how he heard from someone that it's not true and it's all crap Gino defended the church and was REALLY involved in the lesson.

I'm so satisfied!! So, next week there will be no lesson, but every Thursday after that we will be having lessons. I really enjoyed it ~ I don't even remember the lessons.... in fact, I don't remember a lot so I'm learning right along with him.

One thing that was pretty amazing was the missionaries asked Gino if he has any goals and Gino said, "My goal is to go to the temple."

Ella's Birthday Invitation

They finally are finished, printed, and in the mail (today)!! What's crazy is the mail between here and Sacramento takes 4 days, so I guess this invitation will be more like a little reminder a couple days before the party LOL.

Always laundry and more laundry and more laundry

It's Tackle It Tuesday and with so much going on here, I gotta say keeping my house in one piece is enough for me! However, for today I'm just going to get a list going of the things I need to tackle this week.

1. 2 loads of laundry/day ~ folded and put away
2. Tackle my work to do list for the week
3. Finish Baby Ruthie's birth announcements

That's it! That's all I'm expecting out of myself this week. Wish me luck LOL

An Addition to our Family

What do you do when the one person who has continually done you wrong over and over again is in a desperate need for help. For love. For someone to just take him in and love him and help him feel secure? My first thoughts were definitely to turn my back and continue living the life I've been living. This is my happy land.

But at the end of the day, when I lay up in my bed at night, I still see that sweet little boy's face. The one who tried to runaway on his dirt bike when he was only 4. The one who used to twirl with us girls, wearing one of my sister's dresses. At the end of the day he's still just my baby brother. I can't have my baby brother helpless with no one or no where to go.

It's going to cause problems, and that makes me sad, but it's something I have to do. I have to do what's right and turning my head to him isn't. I couldn't imagine being in the situation that he's in right now. Helpless. Not knowing what to do. Not having a soul in the world that's willing to let you in. I will be that soul that will open up my door, and this HAS to be the last time. He HAS to get his life on track.

My brother will be arriving here tomorrow. My life as I know it will change, but I'm going to stay positive. The positive outlooks on this will help me get through this. He needs his big sister. I love this boy so much, and he needs me ~ so I will be there for him. He has a job with my father waiting for him and this just could be the one thing that makes Mitch grow up. Become responsible. Learn to live an honest, faithful, true life.

Sadly, my niece will not be coming with him. Right now, it's Mitch time. It time for Mitch to get it together, then hopefully he can have his family back together if that's what Corina and Him want. For the sake of Alana, I really wish they would try. I would LOVE to get Corina up here going to church with me. Shockingly, Mitch is going to be going to church. I'm proud of him for that. If he doesn't like it we won't force him, but he has to at least give it a chance.

With many deep breaths, Xanax & blog entries, we will survive.

The Joys of Ashland

Ashland is like it's own little world. You have a little bit of everyone and everything there. They have the strangest laws you could think of and one thing that blows me away is girls can be topless. I always heard about this, but never really thought it was true.

My cousins Ryli & Irie are here visiting and Gino made a comment that he hoped that the girls didn't have to see anything too weird while we were in Ashland. We never really do, besides the occasional 4 year old w/dreads, or the 2 year old w/dreads in the making. Well, today blew me away. We were about to pull into our parking spot and this girl actually was riding on her bike TOPLESS! I about died. Ryli & Irie both saw it and we just sat there in complete shock. Gino missed out on it, because he was already in his parking spot and luckily he had Jayden in his car ~ that would've been a horrible thing if Jayden saw her, and I bet secretly Gino's a little bummed he missed out on it. LOL

Photography Obsession

I really need to take a photography class. I have this amazing camera in my hands and there's so much that I have no clue about. The pictures that I'm getting are beautiful, but I know they could be so much more and that bugs the crap out of me.

I found one class online that teaches about my camera, and I think I just might be signing up for it. I never realized how much I loved taking pictures until I bought this camera. It's like all I want to do now is get out there and take pictures. I look at people differently now. The other night I was at Olive Garden and was sitting in the waiting lounge and there was this family sitting on the couch. At the moment I had wished more than anything that I had my camera, because it would have made the most beautiful family picture. They were so happy and I just wanted to capture that for them so badly.

Not only do I now need to take a class on photography, but I think I should take a class on Photoshop as well. I know all about layers and a few effects, but I know there's a whole photo editing world inside that program that I am clueless on.