Happy Monday

Happy Monday. I have a lot of blogging to catch up on. You'd be surprised that I actually have a list of things I need to post about. I'm so overwhelmed right now. I have a huge list of things to do for work, and that has to get done TODAY! So, why in the heck am I on here babbling? Well, I had to get a few things off of my chest.

Jayden is starting 1st grade in a week. In a flipping week my baby will be in 1st grade!!!!!!! I'm happy for him that he'll be back in the routine things of life and he won't be bored with me. Sadly, his girlfriend is not in his class this year. His response to this was, "Ah, bummer!" Poor guy.

Ella has a molar that broke through. It's all the way in the back on her upper right. I think that explains the couple nights of tossing, turning and SCREAMING! She's growing up so fast, and she just gets cuter and cuter every single day! The way she runs is just adorable, and I especially think it's cute when I come home from being somewhere and she runs to me, grabs on to my legs and hugs. She is such a sweet soul.

Ella has a cardiologist appointment tomorrow. She got a blessing last night from the missionaries, and I just pray that her WPW has corrected itself miraculously. I don't want this sweet baby girl to have to have a surgery done. We've been lucky enough to stay out of the hospitals for 10 months! That's an answered prayer if you ask me. She's been nothing but healthy, happy and I hope for a continued future in this manner.

Things with Mitch are going the same. I don't know if he got that job yet or not, I'm crossing my fingers and praying. It's hard having another person living in my home. I try to keep my head up, but it's difficult. The thing that bothers me is he's here to better his life and yet his long term plan is to move back to Sacramento, because he's going to be 21. Makes me not want to help him. He's got a kid now, and he should be thinking about family stuff and not partying. It's time to grow up. You don't get to party and have fun when you have kids to raise, because if that's the choice you make, then your kids will grow up knowing only that and how sad they'll turn out to be.

I'm on day 9 of no coffee. I never thought I'd be able to do this.

Not a Sac Girl Anymore

I know, there's still no pictures. It's not as easy with this new camera, because I have to resize them for the web.... I promise it will be soon.

I however needed to come on and elaborate on a few things going through my mind. First of all, I really think I don't like Sacramento at all. I promise it has gotten so much more ghetto than it was before. I couldn't stand looking at all the ghetto. Besides the fact that I have a very dysfunctional father that lives here, I'm really happy we made the decision to move here. I will never live back in Sacramento if I can help it. I will always be a Cali girl at heart, but it's so not the place to raise your children.

I believe my brother just might have a job. Done in 1 day and w/out the help of any of my family here. I'm sad, because he really did want to have the plumbing experience from my dad, but the job I believe he got (they already drug tested him and he passed it!) is a great one. They'll even give him a bus pass, which means I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE HIM TO AND FROM WORK! Very pleased with this one.... please cross your fingers and pray with me that he indeed got the job.

Here's my goals of the day: If I come back and cross them off that means I accomplished them ~ I wouldn't expect too many cross offs, but you never know!!!

1. Print Checks and mail off for work
2. Prepare deposits and mail off for work
3. Statements sent out
   
4. 3 loads of laundry folded & put away
5. The toilet fixed ~ maybe I'll just pour Draino down the drain and leave it up to Gino
6. Room cleaned up ~ it's a mess since coming back from this trip.
   

Okay I'm off to go and try to get the work side of things and 1 load of laundry started.

One more thing!!!! Today is day 5 with no coffee. I am passed the migraine part (YAY!) and my anxiety is better and I'm replacing coffee with breakfast and vitamins. Huge accomplishment for me. I wasn't just making my coffee at home, either ~ I was spending $5.00/day having it made for me. So, with the amount of money I'm going to save this month I'm buying myself Wii Fit.

9 Month Check Up

Last week Ella had her 9 month check up. The doctors were so happy that they hadn't seen her since her 6 month check up, because that means that her heart medicine is doing what it's supposed to be doing! It makes us happy too!!

She was 20lbs 6 oz & I left the paper there that they wrote her length on. So, I don't have that tidbit of info. She's healthy and growing normally!! Of course she sat there throughout the doctor's appointment and wouldn't show them one thing she was doing. Why do they do that?

Ella said Jayden today. It was clear as day and shocking! Right after she said Jayden she said BuhBye... we were taking him to school. She's so smart. Sometimes I think she's too smart for her own good. That scares me. As I watch her grow and grow I get more frightened and excited for what lies ahead.

Ella Turns 9 Months

Dear Ella,

Today you're 9 months old, Ella. I haven't even had your picture taken professionally 1 time in the 9 months of your life. I must apologize for that right now. Heck, we'll just say that the 3 month picture of Jayden in angel wings was you... okay? I think you might be the smartest 9 month old in our world as we speak. I'm waiting for you to bust out some algebra problems for me. I tried to teach you sign language and you actually looked at me like I was nutty and spoke the words in clear English. I don't know many 9 month old babies out there that actually say "Doggy!" when they see a doggy. The words in your vocab that I can bee 100% certain on right now are.... All Done, Kitty (Itty), Doggy, Dada, Mama & Ella. You rock, girlfriend! When I talk you really study my mouth to figure out how you can say what I'm saying. You're not walking yet. I must say I'm stunned at this. You've been standing perfectly and even dancing while standing, yet you refuse to step forward. I guess it would look a little freakishly to see a baby as short as you walking around. You have a total of 4 teeth. On the 8th of this month you had your 2 front, top teeth break through at the exact same time. It was approximately 3:47am - I know this, because you were screaming and therefore, I was up rubbing your gums for you. I know, I'm a 5 star mama!

I have no stats on you yet. You have a doctor's appointment on the 20th, and I am pleased to say that you will NOT be getting any shots at that appointment. They actually might get to see a smile from you if you have forgotten what happened there last time.

8 Months Old Today

She's waving!! She waves and in the right direction too LOL... when she waves she either says "Hi" or "Babababa" I'm assuming that's supposed to be bye bye. Her favorite word ever is "Dadadada" This all just started this past week. She's pointed a couple of times too, but I don't know if she realizes exactly what she's doing. At first when she waved I thought it too was a fluke, but now if I do it she'll do it.

She can walk if she's holding onto something. She has a little toy that has a steering wheel and wheels and she can either have it as a ride on or a walking helper thing. She does pretty darn good at it.

She's obsessed with food. I've never in my life seen a baby her age like this. If she sees anybody eating she'll jet over to them and open her mouth and make this coughing noise. If you don't put some of your food in her mouth she will have a full blown bratty fit. She loves ANYTHING. If I put a pepper (I promise this I won't do) in her mouth she'd probably have a huge smile on her face. Looks like I got one extreme to the other in my children. Jayden doesn't eat anything and Ella eats everything.

Every day this little girl is growing and getting cuter and cuter. I still can't stop staring at her. I cannot get over how beautiful she is. I can't get over the fact that she's mine! She's not my first, but we waited 4 1/2 years to try again and unfortunately had to endure a lot. I had to go through 15 months of pregnancy and that is something I don't forget. I had to go through one of life's most heartbreaking tragedies of losing a baby. A baby that I already loved. A baby that I already felt move inside of me. A baby that will forever hold a special place in my heart. It makes me appreciate my kids so much more if that makes sense. And then to almost lose Ella when she was just 7 weeks old makes me just want to grasp onto her and never let go.

My Grandma was up visiting and asked me if I ever just lay her in her bed and let her fall asleep on her own and I quickly said no. I didn't explain to her why. I treasure every second that I have to hold her. I don't get frustrated when I have to take time out of what I'm doing to hold her close to my heart and rock her. I love to stare at her and thank God for trusting me with a child of his. There's no better feeling to me than having a baby of mine fall asleep in my arms. This life is so short and every moment that we can treasure our babies should be taken advantage of.

Holy Crazy Family Time!

For the past few weeks it's been nothing but visiting, visiting and MORE visiting. I know I'm ignoring my blog, but I honestly have been so busy! As mentioned before we went to Sacramento for Easter. Then the day after we got back Gino's family showed up and stayed for 6 days. 2 days after they left my Grandma showed up and is still here and then today Gino's BFF Dave showed up. So in the midst of all this visiting my blog is getting ignored.

However! Here's a few updates going on in our world:

Rylie May is home and doing wonderful! She's so little and makes Ella look like a toddler. I still have no pictures, but will post some as soon as I take some.

Ella is pulling herself up onto any and everything and has even thought she could walk and fell on her face. Everyday I swear this little girl is growing more and more and not just physically, but smarter. She is one smart little cookie. The other day Gino and I were walking out the door and said "Be Back" and I swear she said in her little voice "Be Back". I thought I heard it and didn't say anything, and then Gino stops and turns around and then his aunt says, "OMG! Did you hear that?!?!" We continually tried and tried to get her to say it again, but of course nope.

Jayden just went back to school after being on spring break. It's been a hard adjustment for us all, but we're managing. One of his front teeth is loose. With every tooth he loses I feel more and more like my baby is growing up too fast. UGH - he's almost 7!!! I cannot fathom the thought that Jayden will be 7 this year.

Gino's new schedule has actually been working out for us. I've grown to love it and now they're ripping it from us. I HATE HOME DEPOT MORE THAN ANYTHING! Now he'll be working the original shift he was supposed to get. 4am-1pm.... UGH! My poor husband will now be waking up at 3:15am - and poor me will have to drag Ella out in the morning to drop off Jayden at school. We'll manage. We will manage.

I haven't gone to curves in 2 weeks. 2 fricken weeks! I have to make a promise to myself that Monday morning at 10am I will back in there. Because not only am I not going to Curves, but I'm also not eating as healthy as I was before going to Sacramento.

I know I told how I'd have my Tips back this week, but with my Grandma here they completely slipped my mind! So, I'm not going to guarantee that they'll be back on Tuesday, because we will probably be busy with fun tax stuff, but I will try my hardest!

Last, but not least - I've started back up My Book of Mormon Journey. Head over to my other blog and join me in reading the Book of Mormon. I'm only 5 chapters into it, which will take you no time at all. Even if you're not LDS, what would it hurt to read about it?? I post links to the chapters so you can read online. And I would love all comments over there with your opinions, feeling and things that will not only help me see things the way you do, but help strengthen my testimony as well as yours. I love hearing other's testimonies, because I believe that mine grows stronger.

Ella is crawling!!

The quality of this video isn't all that great, but it was dark in my living room and the batteries were dying on my camera, but Ella crawled today. I was sitting in the chair and Jayden was coloring and I looked up and Ella was hauling butt to his paper. I was so excited I grabbed the camera and tried to get it on video. This is what I got. For the past few weeks she rolls to where she wants to go. She got pretty good at it too. So, here's my little paper muncher.

6 Month Pictures and Stats on Miss Ella

6 Months old - Crazy!!! I know this post is a little late, she turned 6 months old on the 14th Valentine's Day :) But I'm just now getting around to recording her stats and updating on her doctor's appointment. She's 17lbs 10oz. 26 inches long. New things she's doing: She's discovered her shadow. She started this past week saying Gagagaga. She's still trying with all her might to crawl, but can't quite figure it out yet. She basically falls on her face :( Poor baby girl!!! During her 6 month doctor's appointment her Dr. was talking about how pretty soon she's going to develop separation anxiety and blah blah blah well, in the middle of him explaining this all to me she's watching his every move. Then out of the middle of nowhere she screamed her head off. Ever since that moment Ella has separation anxiety and screams every time I walk out of the room. She loves Jayden. She get so excited when he walks in the room and whenever he actually pays a little attention to her, her face lights up. She still hasn't gotten any more teeth, but she has the 2 on the bottom. And when she bites they hurt! She loves other babies and gets all excited when she sees them. Already my social little butterfly. She discovered splashing the other day in the bathtub and I'm putting a video of that on here. I know that almost every picture of her she has no clothes on, but I promise you she has plenty of clothes....she just loves to be naked w/a diaper on. With how much this girls spits up I love her to be just in a diaper too.


EDITED TO ADD: I was just reading on my blog and it looks like I already did a little update on Ella's 6 month stuff - see what having kids does to you? It sucks all the brain cells out of your head UGH - oh well, I hope you enjoy the pics and video of my little princess.

Quick Update

It sure has been a while. My friend, Jenise, came up from Sacramento to visit for a few days. It was the first time that she got to meet Miss Ella!! She helped out so much and I'm thankful for every ounce help she gave. She did lots and lots of laundry for me - my most hated thing ever.

I'm still having issues with my breathing, heart, anxiety... whatever it is that's going on with me. Yesterday I went in for an echo and the results should be in next week. They looking to see if one of the little flap things stick, which can make me feel like how I've been feeling. It's frustrating to feel this way. I don't like feeling like I can't breathe. I don't like feeling on edge.

This weekend I'm planning on taking the kids to get their pictures done. We might even do a family picture - I haven't really decided yet. Ella hasn't had professional pictures done yet and I feel absolutely HORRIBLE about it. They'll be cute and that's all that matters.

That's just a quick little update on me here.

Results are in.............

And I do not have a thyroid problem. Next step is they're going to do an echo on my heart. I don't find this step necessary, but I also know that it's not going to hurt anything so I've agreed to it. Today I've been having extreme difficulty in breathing. Tonight it's a little better than it's been all day, but I actually have to struggle to take a deep breath. If I feel this way in the morning I'll call my doctor up and ask to come in and have my oxygen level checked. I starting wondering today if this has to do w/the cold I had - maybe there's stuff in my chest that I don't realize and that's causing this. Or maybe I have asthma. You know, there has been so many random ideas going through my head on what in the world is going on. I don't have anxiety today. In fact I'm pretty relaxed. So why am I having a hard time breathing? I guess I'll have an answer eventually. Here's to hoping I feel normal tomorrow!

6 Months Old

I cannot believe that my little girl is half a year old. Where did the time go? Today for some reason (I'm assuming because she is now 6 months old) she has been trying to full blown go mobile on me. If I'm holding her she'll flip herself out of my arms. If she's sitting on my lap she'll lunge forward. Now she's even getting up on her hands and knees, rocking back and forth and trying with all her might to move forward. This has made me realize that this weekend I will be going to Target to pick up all the baby proofing things I need. So my little Valentine didn't get all dressed up cute, even though I had boughten her an adorable outfit for today. We'll have to do Valentine's Day pictures this weekend. Here is a couple pictures of her today though.

I went to the doctors

I decided shortly after posting my last post about my anxiety that I needed to call my doctor's office. So I called, made an appointment and they had me in at 1pm today. The did an EKG and I got to see that I do not have a delta wave, therefore I do not have what Ella has.... RELIEF! However, they did labs on me today to see if I might possibly have a thyroid problem. In the meantime, while I await the results of the blood tests, I was prescribed Xanax. I took one probably around 3pm and w/in 20 minutes I was feeling 100% better. It's now 11:22pm and I'm starting to feel the heaviness around my heart. This is so frustrating! I think the only solution is me going to Mexico for a week - maybe 2 weeks. I'm really anxious (surprise surprise LOL) to find out what my blood are results are going to be tomorrow.

A New Car! With some anxiety

It's almost been a week since my last entry here. We've had a busy past few days and I actually have put the computer away for a while and only came on to quickly check my email. I must say... it felt good! Thursday we bought a second car. FINALLY! We actually have been getting by with one car for a long time now, and it's nice to finally have 2. Neither of us will feel stuck if the other is gone. This decision of course had to be made since Gino is going to have to now be to work @ 4am and Jayden has to be to school by 7:50am. So, we got a 2004 Jetta w/only 26k miles on it. It's a stick and I'm in love with it. It is, however, Gino's car. That thing isn't big enough for both of the kids.... but when I'm going somewhere by myself you bet your butt I drive that thing. I LOVE STICK SHIFT CARS!

I've developed a horrible case of anxiety these past few days. Almost to the point that it's scary. I get shortness in breath to where I can't take a deep breath. My heart feels like it's pounding and I just downright feel helpless. There have been many times in my life where I'd say "I have horrible anxiety." What was I thinking?? What I used to *think* was anxiety is nothing compared to what this feels like. The first thing that ran through my mind when I first felt this was 'OMG, I have what Ella has' I seriously thought I was about to have a heart attack. We were at Target, so we went over by the pharmacy where the blood pressure checker thing is and it said that my pulse was @ 103. Not terribly high, but it is high. I don't know what my deal is, but I don't like it. I might make an appointment to see a doctor, but from my understanding there really isn't much a doctor can do for you beside prescribe medication that I in turn might become dependent on. So, today I'm thinking about maybe finding a yoga class to join and see how that works for me. I just know that I do not like feeling like this.

Summing Up 2007

This has been an amazing year. We started our year out in Sacramento, where we've lived our entire relationship/marriage. Where our son was born. Where our family lives. Where our hearts reside. I found out I was pregnant in December 2006. So, I started 2007 out pregnant and praying and praying that all would go well. In 2006 I had been pregnant and lost our baby girl, Mya. So, we entered 2007 with high hopes that it would be a much better year than 2006 brought us.

April 7, 2007 we did the unthinkable. We packed our home up and moved to Oregon. I never thought in a million years I'd be able to free myself from the stresses of the City. I never thought I'd be able to leave my mom, my sister, my brother - my brand new nephew. But we did it. We knew that we needed to plant our roots. Jayden would be starting kindergarten and we wanted to have him go to school in a small town. We didn't want the city life for him or our unborn child. So, with tears in our eyes and a heavy weight on our hearts we left everything we knew and loved for a fresh start at life. I'm happy to say that it was the best decision we've ever made. Although we miss our families so much, we are finally a content, happy, loving family. I couldn't ask for more.

August 14, 2007 we gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Ella Marie was 6lbs 7 ounces ~ 18 1/4 in. long. Amazing. The most amazing part of this day was that Jayden was at the hospital. He had his ear to the door waiting to hear his baby sister's first cry. Moments after she was born Jayden was in the room holding his baby sister. Our family at that moment was complete. It's like a hole in our hearts was filled. Jayden was an amazing big brother from the beginning. Never an ounce of jealousy, which being that he was an only child for 6 years I was a little scared of this.

September 5, 2007 ~ 1 year since we lost our angel baby Mya. We sent her off balloons at Lithia Park and had a family picnic. It was a very sad day for us, but at the same time we realized that without Mya leaving us we wouldn't be able to have Ella and we couldn't imagine life without her.

September 11, 2007 ~ Jayden started kindergarten. I cried. I wouldn't have cried but the PTA passed out a poem that made me cry. He's been doing absolutely wonderful and he loves school!! He's writing his name, adding, can tell you what letter words start with and is working on reading!!! He's so smart and just an amazing little boy.

October 5, 2007 our world almost came to a crashing stop. Ella was hospitalized and we discovered that our healthy little baby girl wasn't so healthy. She was extremely sick and we had brought her in to her doctors the day before and was told that she just had an icky stomach virus. I knew in my heart that something else was wrong with her. Something major was wrong with her. October5, 2007 Ella's doctor called me and asked me to bring her in for a quick check right before the weekend. Thank you, Lord. Thank you thank you thank you! If he hadn't asked us to bring Ella in Ella would not be with us today. Ella's heart rate was jumping up to 280 and she had been in this state for so long that her organs were starting to shut down. A couple more hours and this baby girl would have stopped breathing. They ended up shocking her heart and thankfully it worked. But in order to repair the damage they gave her something that paralyzed her and put her on ventilators so she didn't have to work on breathing while repairing her organs. She got mediflighted to Portland and we learned that our baby girl had a heart defect called Wolf Parkinson White Syndrome. We now are aware and I can instantly tell when something is wrong with her, but we've had quite a roller coaster with this. She now is on medication that she started on 10/25/2007. This medication is a miracle. After many hospitalizations she has been symptom free ever since she started this medication. I am so thankful that she doing so well now. She will be able to have a procedure when she's older where they go into her heart w/a catheter and fix her problem. Until then we are lucky to have a medication that works.

Besides Ella's heart condition we had a miraculous and wonderful year. We've never been happier than where we are at in our lives. I am now able to stay at home with my children while I work for my Grandparents through my house. I couldn't have ever asked for anything more wonderful. It's like everything we've ever dreamed of us happened to us in 2007. I hope that 2008 brings us as much joy as 2007 has.