My Testimony... Mine.

I have been working on building my testimony in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I struggle with many things, but what this church believes in is definitely not one of them. There are things I don't understand completely, or seem a little extreme to me, but I just accept it and never question it.

On Testimony Sunday I hear of people bearing their testimony and I think it's so neat that they can feel so strong about basically everything in the church. I'm beginning to realize that I can't base my testimony on the testimony of others. I need to develop my own testimony and I need it to be through my own experiences, through my own scripture study and because I felt it on my own.

I have a very strong testimony of the Holy Ghost. I believe that the Holy Ghost will come to you in times of need no matter where you're at in your life. I believe that the Holy Ghost will comfort you through times of trial even when you're not being the most perfect person. I've talked a few times before about my baby girl, Mya. Halfway through my pregnancy her heart stopped and for a while after we lost her I kept feeling this feeling inside of me that I couldn't explain. It was a feeling of comfort that I had never felt before. I told myself that it was Mya. Her spirit was staying behind with me to comfort me. As much as I wish that were the case I now believe that it was the Holy Ghost. I believe that I was wrapped up in its arms and stayed that way until it knew that I was okay. I remember waking up one day to not feeling that feeling anymore. I was sad, because in my heart I thought she's gone but that wasn't the case. She was gone the whole time..... the Holy Ghost had been there to do its job and it did.... and that is one blessing I am grateful to have in my life.

I have a VERY strong testimony of prayer. I believe that if you pray sincerely that what is to be will be. I also believe that we can make our lives what we want, and we can do this through prayer. It says in the bible in both Matthew & Luke that if you ask and believe that you have already received it you will receive it. This is hard for some people, but it's not hard for me. You just have to have faith, and while faith is a hard thing to grasp and walk with - it's what we need to have.

I haven't had an opportunity to learn a lot about the things I should know. During church I have the privilege of chasing my busy toddler around the halls. Sometimes I wish she'd just cooperate and go into nursery, but the fact that she still wants her mommy is soothing to my soul, so it's okay. It's okay to miss out on all of the stuff I need to know for now, because for now she needs me.

I have a strong testimony of Family Home Evening. Having that one night that is a guarantee in our home every Monday is vital. It's vital for me as a mom and it is vital for my children. They need to know that they have a strong family, and every week that we hold this for them, our family will only grow more and more stronger.

Right now, this is all I've got. I know it isn't much, but it's more than some. It's what I know to be true in my heart. I only hope that my testimony will grow stronger and stronger. I hope that I can get back into daily scripture reading and implement a family scripture reading everyday as well.

While I'm not ready to get up and bear my testimony, I'm sharing it with my friends here. I know that in all due time it all will come to me, but for now this is what I'm holding onto.

I got my picky eater to eat asparagus

It's Works for me Wednesday over at Kristen's blog. I LOVE going through all of the posts of things that work for other moms. I'm constantly changing the way I do things, because let's face it.... I'm still learning. I think I'll have things down a little bit more when Ella gets older since I'm using Jayden as my own personal guinea pig. Great mom... I know.

So, Jayden is EXTREMELY picky. Beyond picky. We've actually sought out the help of doctors and have come to the realization that there's actually a pretty big problem here. We think he has a sensory problem, and he can't handle certain textures, smells and all that. So, we don't force food on him, because we like to enjoy our dinner without watching our 7 year old son throw up everything we're eating on his plate.

I came up with a plan and all on my own this time. Well, it wasn't rocket science, but it definitely is working, and nothing else in the past has.

I printed out a simple chart off of word. It has 25 squares, and every time he tries something new without throwing up he gets a sticker. If he actually eats it all he gets 2. Once he fills up that chart, he gets to pick out a Wii or Xbox game. That was all the motivation I've needed.

My kid ate asparagus, people! This is huge.

Ella & Jayden Updates

Ella update:

She's talking in sentences now. She's been doing this for a while, but they're becoming more and more clearer. My favorite so far, "Mama! Pee-pee RIGHT NOW!" Yeah, that much fun to hear. She's still rolling her eyes at me... I've really gotta catch that one on video, because it definitely is classic. She's not as into the whole potty training thing as she was before, but this is my fault. I haven't been on her and need to try harder.

She's had a horrible cold, which I believe has become bronchitis - poor baby girl. But she's just as active as ever. Her cough is heart wrenching though.

She really looks up to her brother. Anytime Jayden does anything.... like riding his bike outside.... she's right there to cheer him on. She claps and says, "YAY, JJ! Good job, JJ!" Her eyes are lit up anytime he comes around and it's probably the sweetest thing I've ever seen in my entire life. I love the relationship these two have with eachother, and I hope that their closeness carries on for the rest of their lives. What they have is special.... not all siblings have that strong of a connection. The patience that Jayden has with her is astounding.

JAYDEN UPDATE:

My little man only has a couple more weeks of school left. How in the world is it possible that my baby boy is going to be going into the second grade? How is my little baby growing up? I can't even call him my baby anymore, because he's growing into a little young man, and that's so hard. I love the person that he is becoming and I admire him for his manners, the respect he holds for people, and the love he holds in his heart for his family. We are his everything, and I couldn't ask for anything more than him. God blessed us with the most special little soul, and I hold so much gratitude in my heart.

My picky little guy is now "trying" new foods. This is huge. Jayden has always only eaten the same things over and over again and never given new foods a try. Well, I made a chart with 25 squares and told him every time he tries something new he'll get a sticker and once he fills up the whole chart he gets to pick out a video game..... it's working!! Jayden ate asparagus last night. Shocking... and he didn't throw it up! Lovely, huh?

His current activities out of school are baseball, piano and Karate. The piano is still going amazing as ever. It's definitely something that he just has a gift for. Baseball is almost ever, and it's been an enjoyable season. He likes it a lot better this year than last year, but I still feel like soccer is a much better sport for him. I don't think he really cares for Karate, but we feel like it is really important that he sticks with it.

So, there's my brag on my 2 precious babies...even though one of them really isn't a baby anymore *sigh*

It's for us... and in our own way we'll get there

Normally on Sundays we awake early and get dressed up to attend church. It's become a regular thing and something we feel is extremely important for our children.

Today is week 3 of no church for us. Week #1 was Mother's Day and I was enjoying a very relaxing weekend on the Oregon Coast, Week #2 my sister was up visiting and we spent the day taking pictures at Lithia Park (still being edited) and this week I think my daughter has bronchitis... and my throat hurts.

The problem here is every Sunday you spend away from church you fall more and more away from it. Truthfully, a part of me really wasn't in the mood to attend church this morning, and that makes me feel bad. I don't know what I should be doing to ensure that my family stays strong is something I believe to be true. Yet, I don't want to feel guilty for not always doing everything perfect... and that's a problem that I have. I walk into church and look at all the "perfect" forever families and almost feel intimidated. I shouldn't, because I bet they have problems too, I bet they struggle with insecurities, I bet they're not as perfect as they seem. But this has been their life for all of their lives... and if not all of their lives, a good part of them. This is new to us. Some Sundays I'd rather go shopping and enjoy the beautiful day that my husband has off together and not spend 3 hours in a church.... yet, that feeling right there makes me feel guilty.

I'm coming to a realization that this is for us. We have to take this at a pace that feels right for us and if that means we're going to skip a Sunday to lay around and catch up on Desperate Housewives, I guess that's what we have to do. I'm always too worried about what other people are thinking...'OMG the Garibays are inactive'. We're not. Our faith is just as strong now as it ever was. We're not out partying and drinking, we're still following the commandments, it's just a life changing thing for us. Sometimes we actually feel uncomfortable and I wish it wasn't that way, but it is. I feel like the members of our ward are on one level and we're on another. This is something I'll have to work out on my own, but in the meantime I'm coming to the realization that this is for us. It's not about the Bishop, it's not about the people, it's not even about the socialization part of it all, it's about and for us.

If there's a Sunday I want to go and Gino doesn't, there's not going to be anymore guilt trips and disappointment, because when I get home from church he's still there, he still believes in it, he still loves me and that's good enough for me... plus, I'm sure the next week he'll be sitting right next to me.

Time and life

I have not been able to find enough time in my days lately. My to do list is overwhelming, my project lists are overwhelming and I sometimes feel like I'm failing as a mom. At the end of the day I sigh and wish I had taken videos of Ella's cuteness, of the things that come out of my precious son's mouth and maybe more pictures.

But after rushing through the day, and not even being able to keep up my house I almost feel as if I've failed the day. I need to be more structured, and although I've been working on this, I've never actually succeeded here. My entire family needs structure, because things get forgotten, and that's not supposed to happen.

I used to spend a lot of time on the computer - not working, but doing the things that I love to do. I've cut that time durastically, because I felt like I wasn't doing the best I could for my family. Things weren't getting done, and dropping my computer time has indeed helped. But there's more that needs to be done. I sometimes feel rushed and I don't like that. I want more special one on one time with my children. I want to have a fun project that we do at least every other day. Their childhood is flying by and I'm scared that through rushing through my days that I'm going to miss something important.

I want to see the excitment in their eyes as they dip their hand in paint and not fret about the mess that's about to be made. I want to have set hours that I work and not work other than those hours, a set time to sit with Jayden and have him read or read to him, a set time to spend one on one time with my husband (even if it just consists on catching up on Desperate Housewives episodes). I just don't want to forget the important things I should be getting done daily.

My kids and my husband need to know that I do have it together, I can handle it all, and they are the most important thing ever to me.

I love Garibay Soup

I started this blog back in November of 2007 for the sole purpose of updating family members on our life away from them. I was reflecting back on how much bigger it has become. What new purposes it serves, and how I've grown from it.

I have had the most amazing privilege of getting to know other bloggers out there, and learning things I never thought I'd learn in bloggity world.

I am making my family's history. I consider this my version of my family's life, and one day my kids, their kids and possibly even their kids' kids will get read about the things I feel, the things I love, the things that anger me, but the main thing is they'll get to know me.

Sometimes I post meaningful things to me that I know my readers don't care about, but when it comes down to it, this blog is for me. It's for my family, and it doesn't matter if I have a million readers or none.... this blog will always remain, and I will always try and keep in perspective the purpose of this blog.

I don't always have joyous things to write about. I'm not hesitant to write about the trials in my life. I like to focus more on positive things, but let's face it.... life isn't always rosy and cheery. I'm happy that I have this blog to turn to and record the things I have failed to write in baby books, that I can talk about the things that frustrate me, the things I've discovered that work for me, and a place to just ramble about whatever my crazy mind has on it.

I'm extremely grateful for so many things in my life, and I find it kindof funny that Garibay Soup is definitely one thing I am grateful for. I love that my life is right here, that I have a record of the things that I have accomplished, the things my children and accomplished and the monuments in our life.

I love Garibay Soup.

My Mother's Day...

Mother's Day.... HEAVEN! I absolutely love being at the coast. It's gorgeous, peaceful, and it's a place I'd honestly like to see myself living at one day. I don't know, it may happen... it may not. That's the beauty of life. The only thing truly stopping me from packing up and picking my new home is the fact that there's no Home Depot on the Oregon coast.... and Home Depot is a necessity in our life, because that is our source of health insurance... cardiac baby MUST have health insurance.

We camped literally right in front of the beach. We were in my Grandma's RV and I'd sit in the passenger seat and watch the whales blow the water up and flip their tails (or fins... whatever) out of the water. It was absolutely amazing to me!! I can't believe how close those whales actually get to the shore! What a great experience!!

So, here's a picture of the view from the RV



Unfortunately, I didn't get any pictures with my Grandma, but she was there. It was a nice little get away for us all... much needed! We really don't live too far away from the coast, but we rarely go... usually just once a year. I want to start going more often. I want to take advantage of the beauty that's just around the corner. I'd LOVE to take a trip up 101 for a couple of weeks and get to see all of the Oregon coast... it's just so beautiful.

Of course I have a few pictures to show. I'm not going to overwhelm my blog with a million pictures, but these are a few of my favorites

I haven't talked much about her, but this is our love Sophie.... I actually love her - shocking! I know, I know, she looks like a pit, but she's NOT! She's an Olde English Bulldog :)

Jayden FINALLY got to make smores, which is something this kid has been wanting to do for a REALLY long time. Jayden picked out a little chest for me, I'm thinking I might be keeping things he makes me in it. It's special, because he had to get it for me.... there was no talking him out of it, and that's the best!

I'm so thankful to be a mom, and I'm thankful to have 2 of the most special little souls I've ever encountered. I love my life, I love my children, and I love my husband.... I'm forever grateful for the way things have turned out for me.

Friday Favorites

Yesterday I was so busy I forgot to post my Friday Favorites!!! This is what's scary... every day we wake up loving our life (well, I do) and appreciating the day and it seems like such an important day for some reason. Well, at the end of the week you sit down to think about the best parts of your week, because you didn't write them down ~ and you can't.

1. I bought a new posturpedic computer chair that I've fallen in love with
2. On Monday my husband and I accomplished the world in our home ~ we finished projects that we've been working on for a while now. We're still on our organization mission, and are almost completed with the house..... then we move back into the garage.
3. Ella has still been doing pretty well on her potty training, but still has her accidents - but announces them right away with an, "UH OH!!!! PEEEEEEEEEEE PEE!" Her cuteness kills me I tell you.
4. I finally found an assistant that won't break the bank! My little sister, Alyssa, came over on Friday and helped me out by cleaning my bathrooms and other things around the house. I decided that I'll be paying her to come over once a week for 4 hours to clean the bathrooms (my most hated job) and then work on projects for my work for me... if needed.
5. We bought Sophie a new crate because her small one was just plain out too small for her. I'm actually really beginning to love her. I never realized it until just recently. Last night we went to my Grandma's hotel room and she met her dogs for the first time and dang she's so cute!!! However, she did pee on my sister in the car on the way home LOL
6. Jayden got his yellow belt at Karate!!!! I'm so proud of my little man!

So, next week I'll try to do my Friday Favorites with some pictures from the week.

Being Frugal

Today's Wednesday.... Works for me Wednesday and it's a themed edition. Something I'm not very good at. Being Frugal.

So, if you want some great tips head over to Kristen's Blog over at We Are THAT Family and start reading the hundreds of linked up ideas!! I'm saving this read for my weekend at the beach!!

Being Thankful

Do you ever wake up in the morning happy to be awake early? Happy to be alive? Looking forward to all of the days activities.... even if it's just about getting housework done? This has been me for the past couple of days. It's weird.

I get excited when I wake up and can't wait to start living. I've been more enjoyable to be around, not complaining and nagging, or getting frustrated with my husband and children.

I've been trying to stay positive and look at the wonderful things about my life. I don't focus on what I don't have, I've been focusing on what I do have. Ella might be a pill (like at church today) but it's okay, because she's here.... alive. She could be dead. Yes, quite morbid, but she did almost die as a newborn and instead of getting all stressed out, I am starting to appreciate the fact that I do have a toddler here with me to throw a fit. Her fits can be like music to my ears, because it could be like Mya. I never got to hear her throw a fit, or laugh, or have her pull my hair. I have gotten to the point where I understand why she's gone. I have accepted it. She died so Ella could be here. In my heart I know that we will all be together one day. One day I will get to meet Mya and I will thank her for allowing me to have Ella in my life. Without Mya dying there would be no Ella. That is my positive outlook on losing Mya. It took me a long time to get there, but I'm there. I'm at peace.

I often times get overwhelmed with all of the tasks that I have to complete. Well, instead of letting these tasks overwhelm me I'm trying to be thankful for the fact that I am able to stay home and have these tasks. I could be working out of my home and not be able to see my children until 5:30pm at night. Thankfully, I spend every waking moment with Ella and with Jayden when he's out of school. I am thankful for that. I am thankful that I put my mind to being able to become a work at home mom and I did it. I want to be here for my children. I want to be the one who raises them, and I cannot express how much gratitude I have.

Being thankful isn't something that is so easily done. You have to actually think about these things and realize the many tiny, little things in life that you don't realize are so wonderful. The fact that I have running water, food ALWAYS on my table, a husband that is my best friend, and children who are loving and a son that has more respect than I've ever seen in a boy. These little things about life make me smile and feel overwhelmed with thanks.

When you feel like your life is out of control and there's a million reasons why you hate your life, you should stop and make a list of all the things you love about your life, the things you're thankful for.... even the small things. Focus on those things, and make your life what you want it to be.... paint your own picture. That is what I have been doing and I'm very thankful for it all.

The Secret... some Saturday inspiration

A couple of years ago I picked up the book The Secret. I couldn't put it down. I probably finished that book within a day, and started to apply the things that were inside of it to my life. The outcome was phenomenal.

It's been a couple of years, and I know that I'm not so conscious of what my thoughts are and I'm making goals for my life, and I thought it would be good to pick up the book again and be refreshed. I'm so glad I did.

There's a couple quotes that I've read that I wanted to share on here. The first is

Others cannot create your happiness, they can only share in your happiness. Your joy lies withing YOU.

Matthew 21:22 Whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive

Mark 11:24 What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.

You can start with nothing, and out of nothing and out of no way, a way will be made ~ Michael Bernard Beckwith

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions. ~ Albert Einstein

Whether you think you can or think you can't, either way you are right. ~ Henry Ford

There's tons of inspiring quotes inside of this book. If you haven't read The Secret, I highly suggest picking it up and reading it. You are in control of your life, and how it unfolds. If you want more debt and struggles, then think about just that and it will come to you. If you want success, money, love, decide that, focus on that and achieve that.

Friday Favorites

Been a while, but I want to get back into this.....

My favorites of this week are as follows:

• Jayden finally made it to the dentist for the first time and did AMAZING! My 7 year old doesn't even have a cavity. I'm so proud of him :) I highly believe that this is because I never let him go to bed with a bottle or anything to suck on, but it might just be because he's a super star brusher.

• My superstar husband helped me to start clearing out the clutter out of our garage. We have one section completed and a shelving thing in its place. I love organization, even though I suck at it, and am glad we're on an organizing mission. He also cleared off our old kitchen table and carried upstairs so that it can serve as a return on my desk. I LOVE IT!!! We were actually going to spend money on a new desk and now I really have no reason. I can even use my table as my sewing area.... THANKS WONDERFUL HUSBAND!!

• Ella has begun potty training and to my shock and surprise is doing amazing with it! My little girl isn't even 2 and is telling me when she needs to go potty and even held up on a 2 1/2 hour outing of the house!! WTG, Ella!!

• We got to bring in my husband 28th year with him. Thursday was his birthday and we got to go as a family to dinner. Amazing thing is - we got together when he was 18. We've last almost 10 years together and 5 years of marriage. I love him. Here's to another year of his life that will be spent with ME!!

• Jayden tested for another belt in Karate. He got called on in Karate class to give a Code of Ethics and he said, "I will forget my mistakes and concentrate on the future." That made me proud. He makes me proud. I sure was blessed with a special little boy. I can't wait until we find out if he earned his belt!! I think he did a great job.

That pretty much sums up my favorite things of this week. I love my life. I know sometimes I can complain and get overwhelmed and discouraged, but at the end of the day....I love my life, and I'm so thankful for it and the many blessings that are poured on my family. I'm excited for the next week to come and to talk about my favorite things.