Stay Away Dust

Okay this is a pretty simple tip, but it works for me and that's the point of Works For Me Wednesday. To keep dust off of your television screen & your blinds wipe them with a bounce sheet. There are so many wonderful, useful tips for bounce sheets, but this is definitely one I love.

For other tips visit Rocks in My Dryer

Searching for my "Me Time"

I used to have a lot of this. I had 1 child for 6 years. I had a job that I went to and sat in an office basically by myself and between you and I spent the majority of my time online.... (If you are from any of my old jobs I wasn't talking about that job - I was talking about the other job) I felt that I was getting plenty of me time. Then I chose to change my life up a little bit. I moved, started to work at home and the topper on the cake.... I HAD ANOTHER BABY. I decided that I needed to scout out my "Me Time" and find out exactly what it is that I need to involve myself in to keep my sanity. I started out with the whole Mommy Forum thing.... catty, drama and so not enjoyable me time. I'd rather not watch girls attack each other on their parenting skills - to each their own right? Why judge? Then I decided that church would be the perfect me time. Yeah, I love church and am beyond happy that I made the decision to go to church, but let's face it.... it's a family thing. I have yet to see the "Me Time" in it. In fact, almost every Sunday I find myself hanging out in the mother's room. So, that has basically turned into Ella & Me time. I finally figured out recently how to get me some "Me Time" I hand my husband my daugher, I go upstairs so quietly and sneak into my bedroom past Jayden and run to my bathroom, shut & LOCK the door. Then I turn the Ihome on as loud as it can go (to drown out the screaming and crying coming through the crack under the door and the "Mommy, I'm thirsty") and I run my hot, hot, scolding hot bath and sink in and read. Then when my heart just knows that Ella is on the verge of a breakdown downstairs, I drain the water, get out of the bath, look in the mirror and take a deep breath. I open the door and reality slaps me right in the face. But there's a smile on it, because for the past 8.7 minutes I was alone, with a book and loud music and there were no children or husband in there to ruin it for me. And that 8.7 minutes will get me through the next 24 hours.

To write about your "Me Time" head over to MamaBlogga for this month's writing project.

Cardiologist Appointment

Ella's cardiologist (well, not hers but one that works w/hers) flew down from Portland to check her out today. She's gained almost 5lbs since her last visit in Portland 3 months ago. So they only thing that was done was her medication was upped to 1ML instead of .8ML and told me see you in 6 months unless something comes up. We are going to schedule our next appointment w/her EP Cardiologist so we talk about what to expect w/ablation. They did do an EKG and we can definitely see on it that she has Wolf-Parkinson-White Syndrome.

So, uneventful, but it was good.

Rock Hard Brown Sugar

It's Tuesday, which means Tammy is hosting another Kitchen Tip Tuesday This week I'm going to let you in on a little trick that I just recently learned about brown sugar and how to make it back into soft sugar after being rock hard. All you do is add a slice of soft bread inside of the bag and close it tightly. After a few hours it will be soft again. For other kitchen tips head over to Tammy's Blog

It's Snowing

Do they really think I'm stupid? I keep hearing this sweet little voice from outside saying, "Mommy we REALLY want our pictures taken out here. I'll pose for you." Hmmmm...... I think not! Here is what they're doing outside and I was smart enough to take the pics before they got the idea in their head to "get me" The last picture on here is what I was driving in earlier - now keep in mind I DO NOT DRIVE IN SNOW. So, basically I cried the whole way home. My wonderful loving husband laughed at me the whole way home.

I'm Old

I'm only 25 years old and tonight I felt older than I ever have in my life. I went to my sister's high school's basketball game so I could watch her cheer. The game was amazing - I swear it felt like we were at a college basketball game. But, as I sat where all the parents sat, across the court from where all the kids from school sit cheering their team on I kinda felt a little depressed. I'm not a kid anymore...holy crap! I swear I thought I was still 16 until tonight... okay, not really, but I sure as hell didn't feel 25. Now I feel 40. Life sure flies by I tell you.

Now, Miss Ella had a ball at the ball game. I thought she'd be scared, because believe me the fans at this game were giving the Sacramento Kings fans a run for their money (okay not that loud but pretty darn loud!) She was kicking her feet, and smiling and watching the cheerleaders... we had so much fun!

So there's a picture of Ella at the game (obviously) and I would have one up of Jayden but he was having fun running around w/his aunt Tiona (who is only 2 years older than him) So, I promise to post more pictures of him - I promise I'm not favoring Ella - she's just so darn cute!

I NEED to take a CPR class

After Ella went through all that heart stuff I swore to myself I would take a CPR class - just in case. I never did. Today I was faced with a situation that scared me more than anything - even more than Ella's first heart episode. With Ella's first heart episode I was scared, but she was with her doctor when I found out what was wrong. I knew in my heart that everything was going to be okay. Tonight, I didn't. Tonight I honestly thought that Ella was going to die. I gave her a teething cookie. She gnaws on them all the time. We've given these cookies to her all the time and they've NEVER been a problem Tonight was a different story. I was doing dishes and she was sitting in her travel swing eating a cookie. I looked down at her and she was starting to turn blue. I went to grab her and she was buckled in (of course) and nothing I ended up doing was helping. I was screaming "HELP ME!" I panicked. I did not know what else to do. My husband at this point has ran downstairs and has her upside down hitting her back and I'm the phone with 911. Our conversation goes like this:

911 what is the location of your emergency?

MY BABY IS CHOKING!

Ma'am I need to know the location of your emergency.

I DON'T KNOW! MY HOUSE!

Ma'am can you look at some mail and find out your address?

GINO! WHAT'S OUR ADDRESS? OMG OMG OMG OMG I DON'T KNOW MY ADDRESS!!!! (In which case he didn't know either)

OMG! HE DID IT! HE GOT IT OUT!

So do I need to send paramedics?

NO THANK YOU!! SHE'S GONNA BE OKAY!

End of conversation

Thankfully my husband shoved his finger down her throat and made her throw up and out came the cookie piece that was stuck. I was shaking so badly. When he handed her to me I sat on the couch and cried harder than I think I've ever cried in my life.

About 1 minute after hanging up the phone a cop knocked at the door and Ella and I went to greet him. He smiled and rubbed Ella's tummy (she was just in a diaper) and she was a mess from the cookie. Well, he said "Are you okay little one?" and she took one look at him and flipped her lid. She didn't like him at all. So he smiled and said, glad all turned out okay. I was pleased with how quickly he responded - that's a plus on living in such a small little town.

I do know my address, but it's amazing how when you're in that situation you lose all knowledge in your head. So I'm going to actually put on the fridge w/her medical information(already on there) our address for myself in times of chaos.

Go here to watch a video on what to do if your infant is choking.

3 Months Free

I am so pleased to announce that Ella has gone 3 whole months since having to be rushed off to the hospital. My Cardiac Baby has had not one issue with her heart since 10/23/2007. I actually feel safe leaving the valley and traveling places. For a while there I actually thought I'd never leave here ever again - I didn't want to travel to far away from her doctor. Now that I feel confidant I just might be taking a trip to Sacramento soon to see all of our family and friends.

I was reading on Kimi's blog about her daughter Faith and how they lost her due to her heart condition. As I was reading about her story it really hit so close to home. I had mentioned on her blog how it's amazing how God will come in during the hardest times in your life and he literally will carry you through it. The Footprints poem has so much meaning to me now. Through losing my baby, Mya, and then to go through almost losing Ella I just am amazed at how God carried me through it all and kept me strong.

I am so thankful for the many blessings that I have in my life. I continue to pray that Ella's heart will correct itself somehow and she won't require surgery. I pray that every mom out there who has lost a baby or child of theirs finds their strength to go on through God.

Footprints

One night I had a dream-- I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord and across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints, one belonged to me and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life. This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you would walk with me all the way, but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. "I don't understand why in times when I needed you most, you should leave me." The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. "When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you." ...Mary Stevenson

No more carrying a formula can!

It is Works for Me Wednesday!! This week I want to share my new favorite bottles and the most exciting part about them. I guess I should first say I HATE (YES HATE) Avent bottles. I swear it takes me so many tries to get those lids on right and nothing makes me more mad than going to shake that bottle and having formula spray all over you...yeah, that is what happens w/Avent bottles...so if you're a new mommy or new mommy to be and you plan on using bottles - I HIGHLY suggest these ones.

Okay.... Soothie bottles have these fun little "snack containers" as you can see in the picture and you actually can pre measure formula, put them in the little containers and then stack the bottle on top of them. You can just keep stacking and stacking too. This works wonders for me because I already have so much crap in the diaper bag and toting around a can of formula is no fun. Now all I have to do is fill 3 of the little "snack containers" with pre-measured formula (1 for each bottle) fill 2 bottles w/water, then stack one bottle on top of one "snack container" and then the second bottle I stack on 2...and even stacking it on 2 my bottles still fit perfectly in the bottle holders on the diaper bag.

So, this is what works for me. For other tips from other's visit Rocks in My Dryer ~ and Happy Wednesday!!

Dear Robert.....

My heart completely dropped when I heard the news. I just couldn't believe that you would ever do something like this. You were quite the self destructive one and everyone was always worried about what crazy thing you'd do next, but I must say this definitely wasn't something I ever expected. I wish that you would have thought before you acted. You always kicked yourself for all the things you did without thinking ~ much like my brother. I'm so sad that you can't kick yourself this time. Robert, I know that my mom & you loved each other with all of your hearts, and unfortunately you were in a situation that you couldn't be together. I'm sad for her. I'm sad that she's lying in bed right now feeling the worst heart ache from you she's ever had to feel, and I've seen her shed many tears over you. I remember your accident and how scared she was when she thought you were dead. Now you are. And you did it yourself. Why? Robert, you were so loved. You had an amazing personality and all you had to do was walk away. There was no reason to do what you did.

I hope you rest in peace. I hope that you finally feel peace with yourself. I will pray every day for your children, my mom, and all of the people out there that love you. Please watch over Tap Tap. I'm not telling Jayden. I don't want to have to explain. I remember once when Jayden was first understanding family he told me "Auntie is your sister, Uncle Mitch is your brother, Grandma is your mom and Tap Tap is your dad." It was so cute. And then after a while of you not seeing him he asked "Where's Tap Tap? Is he dead?" :*( If you see my angel Mya up there tell her that I love her ~ and look for the balloons that I'm sending your way. I'm putting a pink one in there for Mya so give her hers. Watch over my mom. She loves you so much, Robert. And Maria is in my prayers. I hope that she recovers for your children. They need her. I wish you didn't do this. RIP, Robert!! Much love ~ Tap Tap

First Cabbage Patch Dolls

I remember my first Cabbage Patch. She was a newborn and her name was Christina. I remember her birthday was September 1st and one September 1st when I was 6 years old we had a birthday party for her. All of the neighborhood kids came over with their dolls and my mom bought cupcakes. We lived in Lodi - amazing the little things we remember. Yesterday the kids got a package in the mail from Aunt Ksee. Jayden got another transformer to add to his collection - talk about excitement!! Ella got her first newborn cabbage patch kid. The Birth Certificate says her name is Lauree Janelle and was born on January 20th. Ella loves her. She tries to chew on her face and sometimes gets frustrated, but when I hold her up so she can see her a big smile goes across her face. Her first real baby doll.... so sweet!

And then there's Jayden. My mom bought him a boy cabbage patch doll. I honestly for the life of me cannot remember its name, and the birth certificate is probably packed away with all of my scrapbook supplies in the garage, but I had to share a picture of Jayden w/his little mexican soccer player cabbage patch doll. He is shirtless, because I guess Jayden decided that the needed to show off the doll's muscles lol.

Wednesday Letters

Wednesday Letters by Jason Wright was a very good book. After a couple dies their children find letters that their dad wrote to their mom every Wednesday of their marriage. So touching. It kept me interested to find out what the next letter was going to be about. It was sad. The whole point of the book was to learn about forgiveness and how important it is. I'm not going to give too much of this book up, but I highly recommend it. It will make you cry, smile and the end is very touching.

Guilt

Why is that no matter how good of a parent we are we are still faced with guilt almost every day of our lives. Maybe this isn't the case with every parent, but it is with me. I'm a good mom. I know I'm a good mom. But let's give last night for an example. I was busy working downstairs and I looked at the clock and though 'Uh oh...I need to get upstairs and tuck Jayden in and get him into bed.' I went up there and he was sleeping. I didn't get to tuck him in. Didn't get to read him a story. That guilt ate at me all night long. He did brush his teeth though, because his mouthwash was out...very odd for him! Makes me so proud!

Food is such an issue in our house. Like my post yesterday, Jayden has issues with food. I cannot force this child to eat anything otherwise he WILL throw it up. He's pickier than I was as a child and that's pretty darn picky! I feel guilty when I pop chicken nuggets in the microwave. Crap, I even feel guilty when I make him fish sticks. No matter what he eats I feel guilty that he's not eating veggies or something super healthy. However, he does eat fruit all day long and prefers wheat bread over white bread and that puts a smile on my face :) And he drinks water, which some kids HATE...well, Jayden would rather have water than anything to drink.

Another overwhelming guilt that I have is that my one on one time with Jayden is nothing like it used to be. He was an only child for 6 years. That's 6 years of having my undivided attention. 6 years of the world (well our world) revolving around Jayden. That changed drastically. All of our attention shifted quickly to Ella. Rushing her to the hospital so many times right after bringing her home. Having to be away from me while I was at the hospital in Portland and he was home w/my husband. Through it all he is still sweet. Still loving. Not jealous. And I feel guilt. I feel guilty that Ella sometimes takes up all of my time and I can't go read him a story at that second. I can't peel that orange, because if I move she'll wake up, please just wait 5 more minutes. And he waits. Very rarely will he get his feeling hurt over Ella getting put in front of him. I know things will get better, and I know Jayden understands, but that doesn't help the guilt I feel inside.

I guess this post is just for me to talk about how it's hard that no matter how good of a mother you are, you still have this overwhelming guilt inside of you that you should be doing better. Are there other moms out there that feel this way?

Declutter

These weeks have been flying by! It's another Works for me Wednesday. Last week was backwards week and I actually got to ask for advice. I asked for tips on how to help my son to learn how to read. Thank you so much to all of you for your wonderful advice. I'm going to use it!! We've ordered the most suggested book out of my comments "Teach your child to read in 100 easy lessons." I can't wait to get it and start on this.

If you're anything like me clutter drives you nuts. I hate clutter (when I do my Random I HATES I might consider adding this to the list...stay tuned for that). I have found a great method of getting rid of clutter by taking baby steps.

First off set a timer. You can do so much in 15 minutes...so set it for 15 minutes. Grab a bag and rummage through your house grabbing anything you want to throw away. Don't stop - work your butt off for that 15 minutes. You can even set up a box that you throw things in that you want to donate. The key thing here is 15 minutes..... set a timer and the second that timer goes off STOP! Then set your timer again for 15 minutes and do another task - like clean your kitchen, but only for 15 minutes!! After doing 2 15 minutes sessions set the timer for 15 more minutes and plop your butt in front of the computer, or with a book...whatever just for some little you time.

Try it.... sounds weird and like it won't motivate you, but I promise you it will.

One little trick that might help before you do anything is SHINE YOUR SINK first and once that's shining and gleaming things just come together. I promise you they do.

So set your timer and let things in your home start coming together. Remember it takes babysteps.

This all comes from the Flylady Go check out her website if you haven't before. For other tips head over to Rock In My Dryer

I NEVER Thought I'd See The Day

That my husband would not work graveyard. My husband and I got together in July 2000. A month later he started working graveyard and has worked graveyard ever since. It's just the way of life for us. I let him sleep til 2pm and then he wakes up and we have all evening together and then I get my time and he goes to work. Simple, works, I get my own bed all to myself 5 days/week. I always wanted him to work days. I always wanted to have a normal life. I always wanted to roll over and kiss my husband goodnight (not that I don't do this on the weekends)

My phone just rang and I heard the rumor that his work might be doing away with Graveyard and thought 'Wouldn't that be nice?' Well, it's happening. His new schedule will be 4am-1pm. Well, that sure is a different "days" schedule.

Pros:

1. I will get to kiss my husband goodnight Sunday-Saturday
2. My life will somewhat resort back to normal
3. My husband won't have to leave in the middle of his favorite TV show - and I won't have to watch shows twice - yes, I watch Gossip Girl and others and then have to watch them all over again while pretending to be surprised. And yes, he watches Gossip Girl among other shows that would shock you.
4. We'll get a second car
5. We'll have all day to do whatever we want as a family (should this really be in the pro section?)
6. My husband will no longer be lounging around in his boxers all day... this is because he will not be sleeping on and off on my couch w/a blanket.... DRIVES ME CRAZY!
7. He will be able to take the kids to the park or somewhere fun and not be too exhausted so I can get some work done w/the kids.
   

Cons:

1. When he's really getting on my last nerve he won't be leaving at 9:30pm
2. We actually will be spending more time together, which could cause irritation (hopefully this doesn't happen)
3. 4am?!?!?! WHAT were they thinking when they made up this shift? So that means that he'll wake up at 3:15am and wake us up from being loud and then I'll get pissy and then there will be drama ~ caused by me... Miss QUEEN DRAMA! Don't mess w/my sleep - especially when it already gets messed with by Miss QUEEN DRAMA in training.
4. He used to have weekends off. Well, now he'll work Tues-Saturday ~ okay, this really isn't that big of a difference. He'll get off at 1pm on Saturday and normally he sleeps til 1pm on Saturday.
5. I will actually have to get Ella dressed and drag her along w/me in the morning to drop Jayden off at school....brrrr it's so cold, poor baby girl.... and if it ends up snowing anymore this will be no good.

Okay, so those are my Pro's and Con's at the top of my head. After all these years I've come to be really used to this schedule and while I've protested for him to switch I can't believe he's actually switching. I wonder what time he'll be going to bed every night since he has to wake up at 3am.

Gag Reflux

My son has the worst gag reflux. It drives me crazy. If something is put in front of him at the dinner table that he does not like he starts gagging and then throws up. Yes, this beautiful child of mine has thrown up on my kitchen table and made us all not want to eat our food.

One day the office at Jayden's school called and I had to come and pick him up because he got sick in the cafeteria. I walk in the office and he was completely fine. We get in the car and he tells me that a kid chewed up his food and opened his mouth and that made Jayden throw up. UGH!

Today I pick up Jayden and he tells me that he threw up at lunch today. Luckily his teacher is on to his gag reflux and doesn't send him home (I'd hate for him to miss school over this) So, I ask him why he threw up and he told me "Because people make me sick." I laughed my butt off and unfortunately couldn't hold my laughter and laughed in front of him. So, he probably at this point thinks he's hilarious. Oh they joyous things that come out of this little boy's mouth.

Any advice on how to get him not to do this would be awesome!

Enchilada Pie

It's Kitchen Tip Tuesday!! Today I thought I'd share my favorite recipe with you. This recipe is perfect if you're having a dinner party, because it feeds many and makes their mouths water.

14-16 White Corn Tortillas
1 1/2 Large cans of refried beans
1 Packet of Lowry's Enchilada Sauce (it comes in a white packet where the taco seasoning packets are)
1 6oz can of tomatoe paste (Enchilada Sauce requires this)
2 1/2lbs of hamburger
2lbs of Cheese (I use Colby-Jack)
Olive Oil (or whatever oil you use)

Preheat oven at 350

1. Cook enchilada sauce according to the directions on the back of the packet
2. Fry your tortillas by placing them in the oil flat and getting slightly hard (very important that they're still soft.
3. Take each tortilla and dip in enchilada sauce and after you dip lay it on the bottom of your casserole pan - what's left over after layering the bottom is for the top :)
4. Cover the tortillas with the beans
5. Cover the beans with cheese
6. Then comes the hamburger that you've cooked
7. Then dip the remaining tortillas and put on top of the meat and then cover with the rest of the cheese and pour the remaining sauce all over

Bake on 350 for 30-45 minutes and then serve ~ goes great w/a nice green salad w/red wine vinegar and oil.

For other Kitchen Tip's visit Tammy's Blog

Random I LOVES

Here are a few random I loves.....

I love to make frozen grape juice & frozen orange juice together. Mix 1 can of frozen grape juice w/1 can of frozen orange juice w/5-6 cans of water and enjoy as the flavor dances all over your tongue.... mmmmm...!!!

I love to dip grilled cheese or grilled ham in cheese in ketchup and ranch or in the mayo/ketchup mixture (Thousand Island Dressing) sounds gross, I know, but try it please and come back and tell me how much you loved it (or hated it).

I love TV... I am a complete TV Junkie w/a million tv shows that I cannot miss. It's a problem. My list could go on and on and I really didn't need to have any shows added to that list, but a dear friend of mine turned me on to One Tree Hill. I just started from the first season on DVD, but I'm recording the new season and already cannot wait!!!! UGH! Why oh why does TV have to be so addicting?!?!?!! Okay, so here's the embarrassing part of this love ~ I LOVE TEENAGE DRAMA SHOWS. The OC, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill - they had me from the first time they opened their mouths on the first episode ever aired.

I love fruit snacks/fruit roll ups. I always have. I remember being like 9 or 10 and pretending to be sick and I'd watch my mom drive away to go to work and I'd run to the pantry and literally eat all of them. My favorite was Beary Bears. I really loved those...they don't make them anymore :(

I love Olive Oil. I couldn't imagine cooking with anything else.

Monday Goals - 1/14/08

Parenting: Buy Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons ~ most of my advice on my WFMW tip request pointed me in that direction, so we're going to give it a whirl.

Marriage: This week I need to work on thinking before speaking. I say this because lately I've been working a lot and the little things that normally wouldn't bother me are completely bothering me... so, instead of saying some rude little snotty comment I'm going to just stop and take some deep breaths and then hopefully I won't be so snotty (can you believe I'm actually admitting that I can be snotty?? Who knew?!?!) when addressing the situation.

Household: Work in the current Flylady zone and do ALL missions from Kelly and find a housekeeper to come and deep clean once a week

Work: Get through entire box of stuff that was sent to me

Faith: Read through the lesson that I missed at Relief Society on Sunday since I was a loser and didn't attend church (horrible of me!)

Self: Drink at least 5 glasses of water/day, finish reading Wednesday Letters, and do at least 20 minutes of exercise

15 People

I saw this on a blog entry on one of my friend's myspace and I thought it was kindof cool. Basically, she lists 1-15 and each number stands for a different person. She says her true feelings about them, but never lists their names. So, you don't know exactly who she's talking about but she gets to say what she wants. I'm having one of those days... so here I go - 15 People ~ if I know you, you could be in my list, but you'll never know.

1. You are a wonderful friend. I can't even begin to explain what you mean to me in words. In such a short time in my life you have impacted it in the most positive way ever. I pray for you every night and hope that God blesses you in every way that you want to be blessed. Thank you for every thing that you have done for me, my family, my heart, my soul and my faith.
2. I guess when your entire world was falling apart all around you I was the one that you needed. But now that things seem to be going well in your life you don't need me anymore, which is fine... but I never wanted to hear you complain all those hours about something that did no use in complaining about. I was wrong about you. Even though you don't need me to vent to anymore doesn't mean I don't want to hear from you to make sure everything is okay with you. I'm sure you're embarrassed that after all that drama you still went back to him, but I don't care about that. UGH you don't know what a friend is.
3. You are the center of my whole world. Nobody can make me more angry than you can, and nobody can make me smile like you can. Many, many years of ups and downs - mostly downs, we are finally on our most amazing up and I love it... and I love you.
4. I don't agree with your choice in life, but I love you so much. I wish that you would kick that guy to the curb. He doesn't love you. He's using you. And it breaks my heart. But I love you so much and no matter what I will stand by your side.
   
5. The two of us have been through more together than most would even believe. You have literally screwed me over time after time after time and yet all you have to do is smile that sly little smile of yours and my heart melts. Ever since you were a little boy it's been like this. I am proud of you. I hope that you begin to make good choices and start using your brain before you act. I love you!
6. I worry about you. Things have changed so much and sometimes I cry, because I feel helpless like there's so much I wish I could do for you, but I can't. I will be here for you no matter what and I hope you always know that. I love you. I don't know what is going on your brain, but you have to start using it. Life can't keep going on like this.
   
7. You look like a man. I think you're phony. I don't like you. I never will.
8. You need to open your eyes and get it together. He doesn't love you. You are being used. You have been being used for a long time. And if you don't stop doing what you're doing you will end up dead and that's sad. Sometimes I don't like you.
   
9. Sometimes I see a glimps of you and I see a person I like. I don't understand how you can come and go the way you do. You've done it my whole life and I tell you I love you, but I don't. I don't even know you.
   
10. I still love you. I probably always will.
11. You are not a detective. So why is it that you think you are? I think it's time to take a step back and focus on reality and not this little fake world you're obsessed with. And who cares if they're fake or not... it's not your problem.
    
12. The sun does not rise nor set w/you. Why people think this is beyond me. I think that what you did was pathetic and deceiving and people always will remember.
13. Your babies are adorable and I think you rock as a person. I'm glad we became friends.
14. You are fake. Our conversations are so superficial. I will never forget the horrible things you have said about me. Even if I am nice to you now, I still remember, and I still think you're fake.
15. You need to stick up for yourself and maybe put your family before her family, because you don't know how much it hurts the people involved.

Making Baby Food

I am really curious about making baby food. I wonder if it's worth it. Is it cheaper? I feed Ella Earth's Best. I do not want all the wonderful additives that Gerber so generously gives out. So, I guess the main thing is this...I honestly don't care about the price, but thought it might be cool to make the baby food. Which would be better for her? Earth's best is organic. Hmmmm... I think this is something I might start researching... if any of you wonderful blog friends out there have any ideas for me on this please let me know!! I'd love to hear horror and success stories. I have so much on my plate with work (I work at home) and my children I don't understand why I try to make my life more difficult in picking up little tasks like this. LOL ~ but then again I don't understand half the stuff I do to myself.

Teaching Them How to Read

It's Backwards Works for Me Wednesday ~ so instead of me telling you what works for me I'm asking you to tell me what works for you on a question I have.....

My son Jayden is 6 and in kindergarten and is showing interests in learning how to read. What do you find as the best methods in helping your child learn how to read? Are there special websites that really help with this? He loves the internet, so something that's fun and teaches how to read would be great. But I also want something that him and I can do together.

Go check out Rocks in my dryer for other people who need your help!!

Got Purpose?

A friend of mine and I were talking today and she was saying that she saw a bumper sticker that said "Got Purpose?" If you really think about those 2 words they really are amazing. You can't really be happy unless you have purpose. I know my purpose. My purpose is to be the best mom I can be to my kids. To be the best wife I can be to my husband. And to live my life according to the gospel. That's my purpose, and since I know that and strive to do my best at these things I'm happy.

Get rid of that icky sponge!

It's another case of Kitchen Tip Tuesday Last week I asked for advice on cleaning my oven and I'm proud to say that I have been back to baking w/out starting fires!! What I did was soak the burnt apple drip on the bottom of the over w/White Vinegar and then scraped the bottom w/a metal spatula.. then I got the remaining off just by cleaning it w/a White Vinegar & water solution. Thank you everyone for all of your advice. And Tammy, thank you for the recent tip on using baking soda to put the fire out next time (but there won't be a next time LOL) Okay! Now on to this week's tip:

Do you have that icky sponge in your sink still? The one that seems to reek of mildew... well, then you need to go to the baby section and buy this! It has a suction cup on the bottom and so the water drips down and it doesn't get that mildew smell. If you have a baby - you can color code it. Pink for baby, blue for dishes. Or however you want to do it.

For other great kitchen tips visit Tammy's Recipes

My Cardiac Baby

Every night I lay down and I look at Ella and rub her cheek and I thank God that she is still with me. Every time I think of what happened to her my stomach just flips upside down. Today I felt so bad, because she had to get shots. She was so happy and just cooing at the nurse and then she stuck her and Ella screamed her head off. And of course I've spent the majority of today listening to her heart over and over again. We've almost gone 3 months w/out Ella having to be rushed off to the hospital and I couldn't be more thankful for all of the prayers that have gone Ella's way.

The thought that runs through my mind the most is what made Ella's doctor want to see her the day after I had brought her in? I have never had a doctor do that. I've brought Jayden to the doctors when he was sick and after the doctor checked him over they didn't call me the next day and say "We just want to check him out since it's Friday and the weekend's coming up." When Ella's doctor's office called and said this I almost hesitated to be honest, but thought might as well, she's still sick. Little did I know that my daughter's organs were starting to shut down. Little did I know that her heart rate was at 280. Little did I know that in a couple more hours I'd be holding a baby that stopped breathing. Little did I know that my whole world was going to be flipped upside down and forever changed at that moment. Little did I know that I would learn just how much I loved this little girl. I thought she was going to die. To see her laying there lifeless was a feeling I can't even describe. To have tubes breathing for her was the most horrible sight I've ever seen in my life. To have to drive 4 long hours in the middle of the night to Portland while she was being mediflighted there. Not knowing if she made it. Yet, getting that phone call and having the best sigh of relief I've ever had - the plane has landed and they're on their way to the hospital.

One thing that always sticks out in my mind is that next morning - 7am shift change. We'd barely had any sleep since we had arrived there at 4am. But I heard the nurse walk in to the room and say, "This one's awake in here." Gino and I jumped up so quick and ran to her side. She just looked at us w/her big beautiful eyes and tried to move her mouth like she wanted to tell us everything that had happened to her and even tried to cry, but there was a tube going down her throat. My little precious, 7 week old, newborn baby.

I cannot express how thankful I am for every prayer that was said for her. For God carrying her in his arms.

Even though she's had no episodes, she still has her heart problem. I still give her medication every 8 hours. On that ECHO her WPW will still be there. So please pray if you pray that Ella stays healthy.

Thank you.

Monday Goals

This is my first official goal setting week for 2008. I am going to try something different. I have picked the 5 most important things in my life. I am going to set small goals for each of these things.

Faith: Read through 1 Nephi Chapter 17 in the BOM and write about these chapters on my BOM BLOG

Parenting: Get Jayden back to a structured schedule for after he comes home from school

Marriage: Compliment my husband at least once a day

Home: Not go to bed w/out a clean kitchen and finish ALL laundry

Work: Get new filing cabinet put together and all my files organized in it. Get default notices out.

EDITING TO ADD MYSELF: I will do at least 20 mintues of exercise/day Monday-Friday

It's Christmas Again!!

My dear husband opened the door tonight for Jayden to see the ground covered in snow. Jayden got more excited than I think I've ever seen him before. He started jumping up and down saying "It's Christmas again! Oh yeah, baby!!" While I find this just downright adorable it also just melts my heart into purple puddles. Watching my son's face light up gets me every time. Maybe I should invest in one of those snow makers so I can see his face light up like this every day. Oh the joys of snow. Well, unfortunately there's not going to be any excitement in the morning when I drag him out of bed moaning and groaning to make him go back to school instead of running down the stairs to see what Santa has brought him.

Now for my moan! I do not want to have to get up early tomorrow! I have gotten so used to not having to wake up prior to 8:30am with this whole Christmas break thing and I've really enjoyed not having to leave my house @ 12:15 while I'm in the middle of some very intense work to pick up Jayden from school. But then again..... YAY! He's going back to school ~ I'll actually get to get some work done if Ella cooperates!!! Maybe I can get my husband to take him tomorrow. I really don't feel like walking in snow - I don't even have snow boots yet..... and snow is cold!

7 Random Thing About ME - ENJOY

Playful Professional tagged me for a fun little Meme. Here are the rules:

1. Link to the person who tagged you;
2. Leave a comment on their blog so that their readers can visit yours;
3. Post the rules on your blog;
4. Share 7 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog;
5. Tag 7 random people at the end of your post;
6. Include links to their blogs;
7. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

My 7 Random/Weird Facts about ME!

1. I have to smell everything.... soda, water, food before it enters my mouth
2. I have a hard time drinking after anybody that isn't my husband (even my own child)
3. I'd rather wear flip flops even in the pouring rain
4. I take at least 2 baths a day - not including my shower
5. I like to dip my grilled ham & cheese in ketchup and ranch
6. I have a Pipi Longstocking dance
7. I have a hard time eating food that I know doesn't have a brand name label on it


I am going to tag: Kimberlee, Becky, Mrs. Mordecai, Kimi Harris, Tammy, Tia Berry & Jenna Lee

She has a tooth & He lost one!!

We have had quite the busy couple of weeks w/Ella. On 12/22/07 she rolled over, on 12/28/07 she sat by herself. Somewhere along these lines she held her own bottle and today I felt a tooth that broke through!!! I will get pics up of her sitting oh so proud by herself and of her first tooth!!!!

Jayden lost his first tooth on 12/30/07 and the Tooth Fairy was so nice to him... she gave him a whole $5.00! He bought himself a smoothie at the mall and a big sucker. Well, last night lo and behold I hear Jayden in his room saying MY TOOTH FELL OUT!!! CRAP! How is the tooth fairy supposed to come when I have no car since my husband is at work. So I ran to the calendar w/Jayden and said "OH MAN! The Tooth Fairy is on vacation until tomorrow night." He bought it! Thank you, Lord! So, we set his tooth on his head board and tonight we'll be putting it under his pillow for the Tooth Fairy.... so many wonderful events happening in these parts :0)

So, now I'm going to prepare myself for Jayden's friend that's coming over.... boys together are CRAZY! So, then I'll come back and edit this post with pictures... hope everyone has a blessed day!

Goals - 1/4/08-1/6/08

So since one of my resolutions was to make weekly goals I've decided that every Monday I will post my goals for the week. Since this week I didn't make this resolution on a Monday I'm going to list a couple goals now that I'd like to see done by Sunday.....

1) Read through Chapter 12 of 1 Nephi in the Book of Mormon - I didn't accomplish this...I would have but I restarted and am now using a study guide - CLICK HERE

2) Christmas Tree taken down (UGH I hate this part of Christmas)

3) Finish laundry ~ didn't even get close on this :(

4) Spend 30-45 minutes every night teaching Jayden how to read


Okay, so those are simple, little goals. But I want to accomplish my goals so that's how it's gonna be :0) Great thing is I've already read 3 Chapters of 1Nephi today so I'm a 1/4 way done on my first goal!!

You get to a point in life where you look back at the life you've lived and think WOW. It's amazing how much things have changed for me. It's amazing that 2 years ago I was a person I didn't like. You go through life and you go through stages and I guess each stage makes you who you are. But I must admit, there are phases I wish I never went through. Friends I wish I never had. Decisions I made I wish I never made. But because of those friends, because of those decision I am who I am... right? Looking at my happy life, with positive people, positive friends, a happy marriage, Church and I just can't believe I ever had the complete opposite of what my life is right now. I'm glad I changed. I'm glad my husband changed. I'm so happy I moved away from the most negative, chaotic place. I miss my mom, my sister, my brother. I do, but I know that marriage would not have survived had we stayed. And my marriage and my babies are the most important thing to me. You know what's sad? A part of me honestly has no desire to ever go back there.

House Fairy

Do you have a hard time getting your child to clean their room? Or maybe you just want to make it fun and magical and exciting. I came across the House Fairy's website and while I haven't paid for a membership yet I've tested her out on my son Jayden and it works! To have them not knowing when the House Fairy will show to check on their rooms keeps them on their toes! The house fairy at my house leaves fun little surprises. Chapsticks, pencil, sometimes some coins for the piggy bank. It's been a fun time and I've loved that we've made things exciting for him. He even cleans the sink after brushing his teeth! He doesn't want the house fairy to see a dirty sink. And if I leave the living room messy at all before going to bed Jayden will remind me that the house fairy is going to think that this is just a mess! It's fun. And it really helps!! I think I'm actually going to get a membership so he can see all the videos and stuff. $10.00 is nothing for the results I've already seen!

For other tips that work for others visit ROCKS IN MY DRYER

New Years Resolutions

It's that time of year again. A time where we all make a bunch of goals that we usually don't make. Last year I didn't make one. This year I decided what the heck... I'm making some and determined to keep them!

I've been pondering over what I wanted my resolution to be all day. I've read other's blogs, I've taken account what friends are doing and this is what I've come up with:

On Becky's Blog she talks about focusing on one word and I think this is a great idea. Choosing a word and focusing on it and incorporating it into your life. I like that. So I've chosen a word. And it's a word that I believe will be a great asset and challenge in my life. It's Faith. I'm starting to go back to church and I think Faith plays a major part in that. Faith plays a major part in my marriage, my parenting, my family. So, I'm going to focus on Faith for the entire year of 2008.

I'm also going to start writing down weekly goals. And keeping track of them on my blog. These goals can vary every week therefore I'm not feeling obligated on focusing on one certain thing all year long. These goals can range from house cleaning, cooking, marriage, church, parenting... all kinds of topics.

One resolution I'd like to keep is starting to do scripture study every night before bed. Even if it's preparing for the week's lesson at church just spending quality time w/my scriptures, prayer and our Heavenly Father every day.

I love to hear other people's ideas and goals, so please comment and let me know what your resolutions are or comment with a link back to your blog talking about your resolutions.

Cleaning the Oven

This is my first time ever participating in Tammy's Kitchen Tip Tuesday. This week instead of giving a tip we are requesting a tip on something in the kitchen we need. I need a tip on cleaning the oven. Over the Thanksgiving holiday my mom's boyfriend cooked an apple pie. And I guess it dripped down onto my oven. I then went to cook chicken one night and there was smoke coming out of my oven.... NOT GOOD! So, I ended up eating at Subway that night. Then one night I was hosting a dinner party. I was having some friends and the missionaries over for dinner and I was making Enchilada Pie. I had prayed oven off on the bottom of the oven earlier and tried cleaning it off, but I guess I wasn't as successful as I thought I was because while I was putting the Enchilada Pie together with my oven preheating I looked down to see flames in my oven.......HOLY $*&^% If my husband was not home my house would be burnt down. At the sight of flames I screamed, turned around grabbed my baby, ran to the stairs and yelled for Jayden to get his butt down here the house was on fire... grabbed the phone and was getting ready to dial 911 while running out of the house... when my husband says, "Amanda, calm down I put it out." So I guess my husband grabbed the water hose thingy on the sink and sprayed the fire and put it out.... I've heard that's not really a smart thing to do, but whatever it worked. I called a friend of mine that was coming to dinner at my house and she came and picked up my enchilada pie and baked it for me. So, that was a few weeks ago and I have yet to use my oven. So, somebody please tell me what a good way to clean the bottom of your oven.

And for other Kitchen Tip Tuesday ideas (this week it be you giving advice to others) please go here Tammy's Recipes