Jayden Choked....and I panicked

It happened again. A child of mine choked. This time it was Jayden, and it was just as scary as the time with Ella. I bought him those real fruit roll ups that you find in the fruit section. You know, the ones that look like leather. He took a huge bite and swallowed. Didn't even chew it up. Luckily, Gino was home, because we all know from Ella's story how I react to a choking child. I look over at Jayden and see him arms flying around and grabbing at his throat. I PANIC! I run over stick my finger down his throat and can feel it back there. I start slamming on his back (I have no idea why) and shaking him and just causing havoc. My husband once again comes to the rescue. Pushes me away and does the Heimlich on him and wala Daddy saves the day. Poor guy afterwards sat on my lap scared to death saying, "Don't let me die again!" And I was just shaking and squeezing him. UGH it's so scary when they choke!

I am going to take a CPR class I promise. But I really don't know how it's going to help me, because no matter what I know I'll panic, my body will go numb and it will be a nightmare - it's just me.

So, my husband is my kids' hero. He's saved both of their lives.

So Needed!

Every other Saturday I wake up, get in the shower and anxiously await what is ahead of me. I go and get a massage from my cousin. It's a time that's for me. No kids, no husband, no work, no phone, all there is is me. I love this time. I look forward to it and actually have considered doing it every Saturday. Honestly, I'd probably be happy even with no massage just sitting in this relaxing room catching up with my cousin. We book it for 2 hours so we have an hour of talking and then an hour of massage.... with talking.

Personal time is so important for a mom. Even if it's getting out of the house and going to a coffee shop to sit by yourself drinking coffee while reading. I think for any mom to truly be happy she NEEDS to get away. She needs time away from kids and husbands. I know there's a ton of moms out there that beg to differ with me, but if they'd give in and give it a chance they'd be amazed at how wonderful it is. Of course we're moms, wifes, ... whatever! We're still an individual and we all need time to ourselves. So if you're a mom, tell your husband "It's your turn!" Walk out the door and go somewhere for at least 2 hours! Get away and enjoy.

Signed,
A Very Happy Mom Who Just Got a Massage!

ETA: My mom called to inform me that I'm a Mormon advising others to go out and drink coffee and that's not very Mormon like of me.... you know, I honestly didn't even think about this. I drink coffee and eventually will at one point in my life not drink coffee. I'm not perfect and am taking things one step at a time. Cut me some slack here :0) - I was inactive for 13 years! I just started going back to church in December and have come a long way in only 4 months ~ coffee will be tackled next.

My Weekly Tips Will Resume.......

If you come here to read my Kitchen Tips on Tuesday or my Works for Me on Wednesdays - or even my Friday Favorites, I just want to apologize for not having them. With our trip and having company over I have not been able to post on these. They will resume next week, so don't stray too far away ;0)

Also being resumed next week is my Book of Mormon Journey over at my other blog. So if you've ever been curious about the Book of Mormon check over there as I read with a study guide and write about my thoughts and feelings.

Our Trip/Easter in Pictures

We drove into Sacramento at around 6:30pm. My mom, Sean, Jenna, My sister Jess, Gio & My nephew Vani came to visit us. It was the first time that my sister got to meet Ella. Of course, she loved her! And it was my first time meeting Jenna! It also was the first time that Jenna met my mom, which would be her biological aunt. It was a great time visiting with everyone.

Saturday morning we woke up and drove to Stockton so that Gino's mom and brother, Gabriel, could meet Ella. Gino's mom, Alice, was excited to finally meet her first girl. She has 3 sons and 1 grandson, Jayden.

Saturday night we went out to dinner with Gino's friends Dave, Justin & Rob. We haven't seen them since we moved in 2007.

Sunday after church we went on a picnic by the river and ate some delicious food! The above are pictures from the day. Ella LOVED being outside. Vani (my nephew) followed Jayden everywhere he went. It was really cute. Seeing everyone was so nice. But I was happy to come home. I realize that when we're in the city our days fly by us. When we're home it seems like they last forever. Maybe that's because we don't spend half of our lives in the car. I love my family, but I really love living in such a slow paced life. I hope that everyone had as happy of an Easter as we did. This is the first year in a long time that we actually celebrated Easter for what it really is. It felt wonderful to go to church, especially with Jenna and her beautiful family.

And if you want to see the pictures I've posted bigger just click on them ;0)

Meeting Jenna Lee

I got to meet Jenna Lee this weekend. Jenna Lee was born 12/7/87 to my aunt Rayna. My aunt was only 16 years old. She knew in her heart that she could not give Jenna the life that Jenna deserved. So she made the most amazing decision to give Jenna up to a family who could give her the life she deserved.

I had the privilege of meeting not only Jenna, but her entire family. The family that raised her into the wonderful girl she is today. When I hugged her mom I was filled with so much emotion, because I think she's an amazing person to give Jenna the life she did. Gino, the kids and I went to church with them on Easter Sunday and got to watch Jenna give a talk on the resurrection. It was emotional. It was amazing. She has an AMAZING testimony of this church and I only hope that one day I can have one as strong as hers.

Jayden Funnies

Jayden has said some pretty cute, comical things lately so I thought I should make a note of them real quick here:

1.) About a month ago he wanted to make my mom a card. So, I folded up some paper, he drew a picture on it and then he told me what he wanted the inside to say so I could write it on a piece of paper for him to then copy it onto the card. This is what the card said, "Grandma, you are so beautiful. I love you. Love Jayden"

2.) Last night we walked outside and it had been raining and the smell of the rain with the flowers was a beautiful smell. As Jayden steps outside he says, "Mom, it smells so beautiful out here. Like your mom."

if you can't tell.... he thinks my mom is a very beautiful person - how much sweeter can you get?

3.) When I was 17/18 and I used to hang out with Gino. I'd go through drive throughs and get us free food just from smiling and asking politely I swear! (if a guy was working the drive through of course) Well, a couple days ago I went through the Taco Bell drive through just to get a soda. I pulled up to the window and asked how much and the guy said "Free" I thank him, pull away and say to Gino "Hmmmm mama still got it." And Jayden asked what I was talking about and I told him his mama is hot and Jayden says, "Oh no, Mama! You're not a hot chick. You're just a mom!" And he thinks my mom is beautiful - she's a mom! UGH LOL

I know there's a million more things, but I'll update later as they pop into my mind.

Tackled! Oh and we're coming to Sac!

I've tackled the 2 major things I've been putting off today and IT FEELS SO GOOD!!!!!!!! We're packing our family into the car tomorrow and heading down I5 back to our home land. We're going to see our family. In order to do this, however, I needed to finally head to the DMV and get my car registered, because my temporary pass has been expired since 2/26/08. I finally got my Oregon plates after living here for almost a year. I majored in procrastination if you didn't already know. The other task I tackled was going to the fire department and getting Ella's car seat correctly installed. After I saw what it looked like correctly installed I was furious with myself, because for the past 7 months I was putting her precious life in danger. There's no way she would have been okay in an accident. Now, she's safe. Jayden's safe. We're all safe. We have brand new tires (not done today) and fresh oil and we're good to go!

I have been panicking about this trip a little. I can't wait to see our friends and family, but I'm so scared to travel with my kids. Especially with Ella's heart problem. We've been in the clear since the end of October, but what IF something was to happen. Scares the crap out of me. I hate to travel so far from her doctors. It'll be okay though. Prayers and positivity will get us through this.

My sister hasn't met Ella yet. I'm so excited for Ella to meet her auntie FINALLY and for my sister to meet her niece. And I can't wait to get all the babies together for a picture. Jayden is included in "babies".

The next exciting thing about my trip is my cousin Jenna. My aunt Rayna gave her up for adoption when she was a baby to a wonderful family and I'M FINALLY GETTING TO SEE HER!!!! She's giving a talk at church on Sunday and Gino, the kids and I are going with her and her family. It's going to be amazing!!!!!!

Keep us in your prayers please that we have a safe and enjoyable trip. I'll posts lots of pictures when I get home on Sunday (we're coming home after we eat on Easter). And I hope that everyone has a VERY HAPPY EASTER!!

Rylie May was born today

I woke up this morning expecting to be able to watch the birth of my new baby cousin. I went curves, came home and took a shower, got the kids ready and packed our day bag for a day of hospital. I got there and everyone was in the waiting room. The kids and I spent some time in with Jill and her labor was going smoothly and she was numb!

I walked out of her room and not much longer there was a rush of nurses. My aunt Amy was in the hallway crying and I learned out that Rylie May's heart was dropping. It actually even stopped. I couldn't believe what was going on. The doctor that delivered Ella was Jill's doctor and I could see the panic in her eyes as she was running. They wheeled Jill out and everything happened so fast.

They did an emergency C-Section and Rylie May was in this world for an entire 4 minutes without taking a breath. Jill spent hours in recovery and Rylie was in the NICU with breathing tubes. This day that was supposed to be an exciting, joyful day turned out to be every mom's worst nightmare.

I think one of the saddest parts of today was watching my Aunt Amy (Jill's mom) sit there feeling so helpless. She just wanted to be with her daughter and she couldn't. I can't even begin to imagine how that would feel.

I finally got to see Jill at 6:30pm. She was in good spirits. I had already seen Rylie in the NICU and I felt horrible that I had seen her before Jill had. Jill told me how she actually felt the surgery and they ended up putting her to sleep. As I left the hospital I saw the doctor in the hallway and she told me that they had just removed the ventilators off of Rylie. She's breathing on her own!!

I know I'm reaching out for many prayers right now, but please pray for this precious new soul in this world who has had such a horrible start. I will post pictures once I get some.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYLIE MAY

This Man is Miraculous

While Norm really is in his final days he has bounced back yet once again. Today is his 85th birthday. I called him this morning to wish him a happy birthday and he was in good spirits joking around. He's going to be released from the hospital and it was intended for him to go to a care center as he just continues in his stubborn state of mind that he can walk by himself and falls and hurts himself. Instead of going to the care center he will be going to stay in a motel room of his at his casino. That way he will be taken care of by his staff and won't have to deal with being in a home. That's the update on Norm. It's an amazing thing. I won't be shocked if he lives to be 100.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, NORM

Friday Favorites

Friday Favorites!!! Hope you enjoy and please go check out these girls' blogs!!

The microwave in my house gets dirty quick. And it's always kinda difficult to clean for some reason. I just read on Squibs and Crackers that you microwave a bowl for 5 minutes w/part vinegar in it and part lemon juice. After the 5 minutes is up it's an easy wipe off. I think I might go buy some lemon juice and try this out tomorrow.

I throw my heels of my bread away. I don't like them. I read on GreenStyleMom today how to make them into breadcrumbs! Whole wheat breadcrumbs at that. Put the bread in the broiler for a few seconds - just to dry out - then put in your blender or food processor then put in jar and use as bread crumbs! SCORE! So using this technique.

Do you LOVE baked potatoes? I do. I love potato anything. I learned from Beans & Rice that if you wash your potato, poke holes in them and then wrap in foil you can place them in your CROCKPOT (MY BEST FRIEND) and cook on high for 2 1/2-4 hours or low 6-8 hours and you will have perfect, moist potatoes.... how perfect is that?

Have a Cup of Jesus has a great idea!! Olive Oil for make up remover and skin moisturizer. Just might have to try this one too!

Norm

20 years ago a man came into my life that has forever changed who I am. A man that took my family on as his own. Loved us as his own. He has always been a workaholic. It didn't matter if there was a blizzard outside, or if it were Christmas or he could barely stand up due to being horribly sick. He was out there digging ditches for new sprinkler system that he was going to install, because he had an idea. Or changing the light bulb down at the casino because "Damnit, nobody can do it right like I can!" Those are his words :) His ideas built him a dynasty you could say. The stories I've heard are amazing. He actually raised chickens for the government during WWII and that way he didn't have to go away in the draft. He knew of a city of gold. I hear it's still there and wonder what came of it. He never biologically had one child. Yet, he fathered many. He took care and loved us all like we were his own and he has grown a special place in each of our hearts. He is a father, a grandfather, a teacher and idol of mine.

For as long as I can remember he has had leukemia. It's never stopped him, never held him back just pushed him to fight harder. He is a miracle soul and teaches and touches every soul he comes in contact with. Now, he might not be nice while teaching, but you'll definitely learn something after having a conversation with him.

How he has lived through such deteriorating health is beyond any of us. I personally believe that it's the green barley drink that he drinks every single day of his life and God seeing that he does so much good for people in this world.... why would he want to take somebody like that away?

When I was young I remember when my uncle was graduating and we made a comment of how it would be amazing if Papa Norm was still alive to see me graduate. You know what? He did one better I had the honor of him walking me down the aisle on my wedding day and giving me away to the man I love.

Right now he is laying in a hospital with pneumonia and not doing well at all. We've all seen him on his death bed many times to learn the next day that he was completely fine and going home. This time it doesn't look like he'll be going home after all.

I'm asking if you pray if you'll please take a moment and say a prayer for him. Please pray that he overcomes his sickness and if it's his time to go then it's his time to go and to please have God take him peacefully.

We're Doing Things Here

I couldn't pass up the promotion going on at Curves, which ends today. Donate a bag of groceries and pay $30.00 for the startup fee. I woke up this morning in a perfectly clean bedroom (I ACTUALLY CLEANED IT LAST NIGHT!!!) and set out to start a new thing in my life that will bring me great health. I was excited and I actually really enjoyed it. New plan now is M-W-F will be my Curves days. T&Th will be my walking with Emily day. That's 5 days a week of doing some sort of exercise. I'm quite proud of myself.

Monday, Jayden starts piano lessons. He's always shown an interest, and I kick myself in the butt for not getting him in sooner. Now is better than never, right?

Jayden is starting Tball tomorrow. I'm utterly excited for him. I hear that watching their games is hilarious. I can't wait to finally be the mom on bleachers cheering loud for my son. I can't believe that Jayden is joining his first sport. While it's a happy occasion it also is a sad one. With every new thing that he does in life it just rubs in my face that he's not my baby anymore. He's almost 7 and knows the Pledge of Allegiance by heart. I'm getting old. I'm really getting old. Why is that I feel like I'm still 18? Why is that I don't feel like I'm getting old? I remember when my mom was still in her 20's. I used to brag about that. I remember her 30th birthday and how I was kinda sad that I could no longer say my mom's in her 20's. I'm almost not in my 20's. In 4 years I will be celebrating my 30th birthday and this is a MAJOR eye opener and just makes me more happy about my recent changes in life to be more healthy, happy & to strive to make my life as well as my families memorable.

Jayden thinks he's holy!!

We've only been going to church since the beginning of December. So, the whole thing is EXTREMELY new for Jayden. He loves it. He loves going to primary and loves to pray. He at first was pretty curious about the Holy Ghost. He actually asked my friend while at a primary activity if the Holy Ghost is a demon. I think we've got it down now that the Holy Ghost is a good spirit and is with us to help us along our journey in life.

Last night as I tuck in Jayden, say our prayers I get up to leave the room and Jayden says, "Mom, okay, I have to tell you the truth." I instantly think.... grrrreeeaat! What did he do now? He smiles and says, "I am the Holy Ghost." And I kissed him and said "Well then I sure am blessed aren't I?"

Mobile Convenient To Do List

Welcome to Works for ME Wednesday!! This week I'm sharing my To Do list tip.

I love to mark things off of a list. You get this overwhelming feeling of accomplishment and it feels so great. What I have found to be the best way to have my to do list and to take it along with me is to use my phone. I actually make things I need to do as an appointment. So, if I have errands to run I will make sure that everything that needs to be done while I'm out is in my calendar on my cell phone. Then as I complete a task or go to an appointment or whatever it is I delete it off my calendar. When I'm done w/all of my errands I check my phone to make sure I'm not missing anything. At the end of the day I always look at my calendar to make sure I didn't forget to do something. If I did forget and it must wait until the next day then I go in and change the date of that item and it's on the calendar for the next day. There's also the reoccurring feature that makes things that happen frequently easy to be set up to automatically be put in.

For other great tips on what works for others visit Shannon's Blog and go through the list. I suggest getting a nice, hot cup of tea and putting on some nice, relaxing music as you go through them all. And don't forget to come back on Friday for my Friday Favorites where I list all the tips I've read on other's blogs that I found to be helpful to me.

Ella is crawling!!

The quality of this video isn't all that great, but it was dark in my living room and the batteries were dying on my camera, but Ella crawled today. I was sitting in the chair and Jayden was coloring and I looked up and Ella was hauling butt to his paper. I was so excited I grabbed the camera and tried to get it on video. This is what I got. For the past few weeks she rolls to where she wants to go. She got pretty good at it too. So, here's my little paper muncher.

Pete

Pete is a little boy that I met when Jayden started Kindergarten. Every day we wait outside together for Jayden and Hailey (Pete's sister) to get out of school while Pete fell in love with Baby Ella. From the moment I met Pete I knew he was special. He was a soul that could put a smile on your face, and from the beginning I had no idea that Pete was indeed a VERY special soul. I have a link on my page called Pete - a boy who touched my life. When I came back from Portland with Ella's heart problems Kellei (Pete's mom) told me all about Pete. Pete was diagnosed with Pineoblastoma, which is an extremely rare brain tumor. He was only 22 months when he was diagnosed, and if it wasn't for Kellei's mother's intuition Pete might not be here today. Mother's intuition is the strongest most powerful thing in this world. I believe that it is one of God's gifts to us moms. Mother's intuition along w/a wonderful doctor that followed up on my intuition probably saved my own baby's life. Ella's organs were shutting down and we arrived at the doctor's just in time. Kellei made a video (Kellei let's talk at school tomorrow on how you made this - you did a GREAT job!) on Pete and it's touching. You go to his site and read a little bit about him.

I'm posting this for prayers. This little boy probably has millions of prayers for him each day, but one more can't hurt right? He's doing great and every 4 months they go back to St. Jude's and his scans are clear. I'm feel blessed that I have had the honor of meeting this precious soul.

Tin Foil

Can you believe that Kitchen Tip Tuesday is already here? This week I'm sharing something that most of you might already know, but there might be a possibility that there are people like me out there. I learned this about a year ago. I had covered something with foil while baking and when I took it out of the oven the foil was already cold. Then it dawned on me that if I'm baking pizzas, fish sticks, chicken nuggets - basically anything that you would normally pull a cookie sheet out - just put some foil on the oven rack and put whatever it is that you're cooking on top of it. Then when it's done you don't even need oven mitts to pull it out because as the tin foil comes out of the oven it's cold.

So, that's my little lazy tip in the kitchen I do. For other tips head over to Tammy's blog.

SHE CAN FLY, MOM!!!

So tonight is quite the different night for us here. After 8 years of my husband working graveyard, leaving our house @ 9:30 at night, he is now working days. This means from 2:45pm-Midnight I get to do it all. All by myself! My husband's lunch break is at 6pm, so I am working on having dinner ready by 6:15pm, and by the looks of it it will be ready at EXACTLY 6:15pm.

I'm in the kitchen cooking and trying to get things done and I hear Jayden, yell "MOM! SHE CAN FLY!!!!!!!!!" In which I reply, "That's great, Jayden." I'm completely in my own wonderful world in my head at this point. Then it dawns on me.... WAIT! WHO CAN FLY?!?!?! At this point I'm running out of the kitchen and walk in the living room to find Jayden laying on the ground with his sister in the air being held by his hands and feet. My heart stopped! "DO NOT MOVE, JAYDEN!" "It's okay, Mom. She's so strong and she's a super hero." Wow. I really have my work cut out for me. It is, however, nice that they actually play together now. I just had to explain that baby does not come off of the ground. Period. End of story. Babies do not fly.

Prayers would be greatly appreciated.

This Week's Goals

Parenting: Continue with reading at least 20 minutes per day with Jayden.

Marriage: Smile at my husband more often and not criticize.

Household: Follow every one of Kelly's Missions this week. Work on 2 loads of laundry/day.

Faith: 15 minutes of scripture reading every single night. Kneeling down to pray every single night. Reading 1 bible story with Jayden out of Little Boy's Bible Stories every night.

Self: Drink at least 6 glasses of water/day. 8 is a little much for me right now, so I want to start off with 6. Take at least 15 minutes in the evenings to pleasure read after kids are tucked into bed.

Friday Favorites

This week was backwards week for Works for me Wednesday so I really don't have many favorites. I did get great advice on my problems w/Jayden eating unhealthy. I actually tried a trick with him yesterday when he got home from school and told him that Mickey Mouse called and told me to give him a magic bean stalk w/peanut butter. Jayden believed me and actually ate celery w/peanut butter. I almost cried! I am going to invest in the Deliciously Deceptive book. I might even buy the one that was before that one...I heard it's better :)

If you are looking for advice on a certain topic, I highly suggest looking through Wednesday's WFMW at Shannon's blog CLICK HERE - you can look through the titles that people posted and if one interests you then click on it and many people gave their tips and opinions on those certain topics.

I added a couple new blogs to my blog roll and am going to feature them here.

GoofyJ has a blog called My Adventures and Antics. She is a wonderful LDS mom who also has a heart baby. Her son doesn't have what Ella has, but when I was reading her story it was amazing how in ways it was close to mine. It flooded me with memories of that life changing day I went through. I'm excited to start reading her blog and connecting with a wonderful woman who has so much in common with me.

Another blog I added is Elizabeth's Thoughts From The Turtle Pond. She left a comment on my plea for help on lowering my husband's blood pressure. She too has a husband who has high blood pressure and posts recipes that are healthy. I'm anxious to start cooking up some good stuff for my husband to enjoy.

I also added a link to a blog called Calling All LDS Woman Bloggers. I've always searched for other LDS mama blogs and am so happy to have found this blog! There's a blog roll with many LDS woman blogs. So if you're interested go check some of them out. If you're curious about what LDS (Latter Day Saints) members believe please CLICK HERE - we don't bite, I promise.

Those are my favorites for this Friday Favorites. I hope you all had a wonderful week.... and DON'T FORGET TO CHANGE YOUR CLOCKS SATURDAY NIGHT BEFORE YOU GO TO BED!!!!!

Park Day

Ella had so much fun at the park. We had beautiful weather on Sunday and took advantage of it. Here's a couple of pictures.

For Laughs

Watch the entire video :0) HAPPY FRIDAY!!

Never got to say hello - and never said goodbye

Today I feel like sharing a story about our baby that never got to say hello or goodbye. It all started on May 23, 2006. I took a pregnancy test at work and saw 2 lines. I was so happy! My sister was 1 month pregnant and it was so exciting that we were going to be pregnant together. Our babies were going to be best friends. Our due dates were 2 weeks apart and we always joked that we would deliver on the same day. Feeling this baby move inside of me was amazing. With every kick and every flutter I grew more and more attached and my love for this baby kept getting stronger and stronger. Jayden, being an only child for 4 1/2 years was so excited to finally have a sibling. I heard her heart beat and it was strong and it was amazing. I even recorded it w/my phone since Gino couldn't make it to the appointment.

September 5, 2006 I went in for my regular scheduled prenatal appointment. Keep in mind that the night before as I lay on my bed watching Prison Break I could feel this baby moving all around. September 5, 2006 was a Tuesday. I had an appointment that Friday w/the Ultrasound techs to find out what my baby was and of course to make sure she was growing strong. On this Tuesday I was wearing my green tank top babydoll type maternity shirt from The Gap. I'll never forget it for some reason. I lay there on the table and the doctor was searching for the baby's heartbeat. He said, "I think I hear movement in there, but I just can't catch a heart beat. How about we go over and do a quick ultrasound to check everything." He left the room and I was so excited! I called my mom and Gino and told them both that I was going to ultrasound and I'd call them as soon as I know the sex. The thought of my baby being dead never crossed my mind. I finally get in and am laying on the table staring up at the screen anxious to see my baby. However, my baby wasn't moving at all. I looked at the doctor and he actually had tears in his eyes. My heart dropped. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I called my husband and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. I had never felt such pain in my life. We had an appointment with RAS, which does high tech ultrasounds to confirm the demise. Demise. What a horrible, ugly word. That's what the referral paper said on it. Before I left my doctor's appointment I was told that I have options. I can either have my labor induced or I can be put to sleep and they'd basically going in like a D&C and take my baby out that way. I couldn't wrap my thoughts around either option.

I came home and my mom had pulled up to my house the same time I did and she just hugged me and we cried. I walked into my house and my husband had made tacos. It was the most awkward, horrible night. We still clung on to some hope that our baby was okay. That the ultrasound machine was just old and crappy and it was wrong. The next morning we woke up and went to our appointment. A really good friend of mine worked there and was staying optimistic, saying that there's still a chance. As I layed there getting the ultrasound she was in the room, and she walked out with tears in her eyes. At that moment, I knew. My world was shattered. My baby was gone. How could this happen to me? To us? Why would God take my baby away from me.

I made my decision to be put to sleep and have my baby taken out that way. I didn't want to go through the emotional effects on giving birth to a baby that had no life to it. I didn't go in until Friday, September 8, 2006. I had to have my baby inside of me all that time from Tuesday-Friday dead. I showed up to where the doctors told me to go, which was right across the street from the hospital. It was the abortion clinic. I walked in and was so disgusted. While I was there wishing with all of my heart that I had my baby, there were girls there killing theirs. While I believe to each their own, I am not for abortion. I hated myself for the decision I had made. I hated that my baby was just going to be thrown away like all of these other babies. When I walked in the nurses took me straight to the back to sit with another nurse. I was a "special case" and was to be kept away from the others who were there willingly. My husband could not stay with me. I decided that I needed to get ahold of a funeral home to come and pick up my baby. I was not about to throw her away. So, I felt a little more peace with that decision. We named Mya Marie and had her cremated. I have a heart urn necklace that I wear close to my heart with some of her ashes in it.

It took me a while to face my sister. I loved her and I was truly happy for her, but I hated that she had her baby and I didn't have mine. She was still pregnant and I wasn't. She went on to give birth January 26, 2007 to a healthy, beautiful baby boy who is my favorite nephew.

It's been 1 year 6 months 1 day since we lost our baby girl and Jayden still talks about his sister Mya. He still prays to Heavenly Father and asks him to watch over her and make sure she doesn't fall on the clouds. She is a strong part of our family and I love her as much as I love my other 2 living babies.

I've learned a strong lesson through the loss of a baby. I was blessed 3 months later with a positive pregnancy test. August 14, 2007 I was blessed with a beautiful baby girl. We named her Ella Marie - Marie is after her big sister that she'll meet someday in heaven. The lesson that I've learned is that sometimes we don't understand why God does the things he does. We're not supposed to understand. If I didn't lose Mya, I wouldn't have Ella. It makes me happy to know that when I am called to come home to heaven that I will have a precious soul waiting for me. I will finally get to say hello and will never have to say goodbye.

A Tribute To Gorden B. Hinckley

This man is such an inspiration. I watch a lot of the tributes on Youtube to the prophet Gordon B. Hinckley and this one that I watched today made me sit today and cry. My testimony grows stronger every day and something about this man puts this feeling of absolute peace and happiness into my soul. I don't doubt for a second that he was a true prophet. There's a picture of him at his wife's funeral that just almost makes you so happy that he's finally reunited with his partner for eternity.

6 Year Old Unhealthy Eater

It's a backwards edition of Works For Me Wednesday and I get to ask for some advice on something. I've actually been thinking about what I'm going to ask for the past week and have had so many ideas come to mind, but I think I've decided to stick with some advice on my son. Jayden is 6 years old and we have the worst issue with foods. It's my fault and I'll start there. We lived a very busy life up until a year ago and there wasn't much time for home cooked meals and we've lived our lives in the fast lane and spent many nights eating fast food and basically CRAP. I am now a SAHM and have picked up cooking and we actually have home cooked meals almost every night. Jayden, however, does not eat what we eat. His list of foods is as follows:

Sandwiches (on wheat bread)
Chicken Nuggets
Corn Dogs
Top Ramen
Fish Sticks
Chicken
Tons of fruit (I'm lucky here)

However, he will not eat a veggie if his life depended on it. If I stick something in front of him at the table that he does not eat he actually will throw up. It's horrible. I know 110% that it is my fault, so I just wanted to cover that, but I want to nip this in the butt and have been trying for a while. I took him to the doctors and they're going to do some testing on him, but in the meantime how in the world am I going to get this kid of mine to start eating healthy? We just found out my husband has high blood pressure and now we're even going more healthy in our home and I really want my son to be on board with this. I don't want to make 2 meals at night, but I don't want him to throw up at my table. I'm kinda at my witt's end.

So, my question to you is, what can I do to get him more healthy. Do you have a recipe that you could share that he might like and has hidden veggies in them? HELP!!!

Also, if you wouldn't mind, if you know anything about how to lower blood pressure please CLICK HERE and comment on my post from yesterday about helping my husband to lower his blood pressure. Thank you so much!!!

To check out other's participating this week in backward's WFMW head over to Shannon's Blog

Sister Marjorie Hinckley once said......

I don’t want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails. I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp. I want to be there with grass stains on my shoes from mowing Sister Schenk’s lawn. I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbor’s children. I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone’s garden. I want to be there with children’s sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder. I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.

Help Me Lower My Husband's Blood Pressure

Gino (my husband) got diagnosed with high blood pressure. So for this Kitchen Tip Tuesday I'm going to reverse it and ask for any recipes that could help us. His doctor has decided that he is going to give Gino 4 weeks to lower it on his own or Gino's going on blood pressure medicine for the rest of his life. We went out and bought a ton of fruits & veggies and we've recently started using Mrs. Dash seasonings. I have the basic idea of what he needs to stay away and what he needs to eat, but I would love some recipes that we might be able to try in our home.

For other Kitchen Tip's head over to Tammy's Blog.

This Week's Goals

Parenting: Work with Jayden on his spelling/reading. Read to/with Jayden for at least 20 minutes every day. Get Jayden's new Routine/Chore chart set up

Marriage: Watch my attitude with my husband, because Lord knows I can get one. I also want to work on looking at the positive things in our marriage instead of the negative.

Household: Finish Jayden's room (we're doing major decluttering in there!!) Detail Clean Master Bathroom.

Work: Get filing done. Anything that needs to be filed HAS to be filed by Friday or I'm going to go INSANE!!!!

Faith: I've really slacked on any kind of bible study, but I must say that church yesterday was so motivating and I'm going to set a goal for myself to Read both lessons that I will be learning on Sunday and spend 15 minutes every night reading the BOM.

Self: Tuesday & Thursday go walking & Weds & Friday exercise to cardio video - I have too much stuff going on today to exercise.